Previous owners of house keep coming round to "visit"

[sparklerain]

Can someone tell me AIBU?

Some context is that we bought a house October 2023 it's in a small cul de sac off the Main Street there is 6 houses in the cul de sac and we are right at the bottom (or top) with the other houses forming round us (does that make sense)?

The neighbours have mainly spoke bar 1 house who snubs us since we've moved in (we don't know why) since the nice weather has come in they host BBQs every weekend and the previous owners of our house are around every time - they don't host them in their back garden though, they are sat out on the road right infront of our front window and we never get an invite. We've quite often seen the snubby house and previous owners of ours talking and pointing at out front garden etc as we have changed some of it and removed some old bushes. They sit so far out into the cul de sac we couldn't actually reverse off our driveway if we needed to be out.

Is there anything I can do or do I just have to accept it? I don't want to cause anymore of an atmosphere but I do think maybe speaking to one of the neighbours who is more polite about it might help? We feel intimidated in our home as we feel constantly watched by the ex owners. They're out playing music laughing shouting etc and don't seem to have a care in the world. I should also add they've large back gardens too so don't understand why they sit on the tarmac at the front as they've not grass etc out there

We don't have an annoying barking dog or loads of guests round constantly for them to be annoyed at us it's definitely more a case of "you've bought our friends house how dare you" when it was for sale we didn't force them out so we could buy it 🤣

We moved into a property at the end of the cul de sac. BBQ would be held at the bottom on the road, everyone bought food and a deckchair. We haven't done anything like that since the queen's jubilee because a few have sold up or died. Only three of the old gang left out of ten.

The couple we brought the property from did visit for a while but it fizzled out so be patient, they'll move on eventually.

Is it all the neighbours except you? I misread that. I thought it was just the two couples and some random friends.

I reckon they did this during the lockdowns and it’s nothing to do with you. In fact they’ve just forgotten to invite which is rude and thoughtless but I very much doubt the old owners are doing anything on purpose

I'd start burning my garden waste when they set up for a bbq. And, as suggested, drive in and out so they have to move. Mow the lawn or play loud music - generally just make it less comfortable for them.

Can you put a hedge or fence around your garden to maintain your privacy?

I think some people do just socialise out the front of their houses and can be weird about someone new living in 'their' house, even though they sold it and it's completely illogical to hold it against you for buying it!
I think you do have to assert your presence and at the same time, try to remember they've been neighbours for years and it takes time to slot in. People don't always like change - I really wouldn't take it personally.

I bought a house in a cul de sack and there is sometimes a thing where the residents do things a certain way and don't immediately appreciate that the make up of the street has changed.

Sigh, she needs to live there, it is much better she asks a neighbour who she gets on with what the score is. Not go balls out to antagonise everyone before she even knows for sure.

The BBQ situation - as long as it is on their drive then there isn’t really anything you can do. If it is on the pavement then it’s a different story.
I don’t get why they couldn’t have this in their back garden though?

Regards to the ex-owners - did they come onto your drive or garden? If yes, then its trespass but without evidence (and even with evidence) there isn’t much you can legally do - unless of course you have a case for harassment or they gain access into your home.

Most people like to nosey and see what changes new owners have done. We have lived in our current house for 33 years and we had the son of the previous owner contact us last year asking if he could have a look around as his mother recently died and he wanted to try and get some memories. We let him, he brought some photos of the house to show us from the 1950s and 1960s - he admitted after though that we had made so many changes it was virtually unrecognisable.

Next time you see them though, I’d be polite and just say…
can i help you?

You feel intimidated because the old owners of your house visit their friends in the same street and have a bbq.

People are bat shit. Get a life and stop peeping out the windows!

Why are you surprised? The amount of people still very much anti-Irish in England is still too high. I'm Northern Irish, living in southern England, and it's really quite appalling the amount of "go back home" comments I've had. Our neighbour opposite HATES Irish, and he's made it well known to all of our other neighbours that I'm not welcome here.

Can't you just block their number so they don't appear in the thread? They wouldn't see your posts either I don't think.

@TriesNotToBeCynical if someone actually says/does something racist, of course that can and should be challenged. But OP really would be crazy if she approached her neighbours children's school on the off chance they might say something racist! They will ask her what grounds she has to say this and then socialising with the previous owner of OPs house, doesn't really qualify! There are many reasons why the neighbours might be unfriendly, racism because OP is Irish, is one of them but not necessarily the most likely.

I honestly think this might be something to do with them reluctantly selling the house, or having regrets, combined with an old established routine of socialising out the front!

OP! Was there some issue with the house sale that might have caused a grudge? Last minute negotiation, etc.?

If there’s nothing like that, they’re just arseholes. Ignore, and be super friendly when you walk past 👋

I wouldn’t have been aware of this (although am in the NW where a lot of the population are either Irish or have Irish heritage, myself included)

Just go out to do something in your garden, I don't know, just go and grab a weed, and then just stand up, look at them and say 'Oh hello, it's a lovely evening isn't it. Hope you are getting on well in your new home?' If you are ballsy enough, add 'We love it here, 90% of the neighbours have been fruendly and welcoming'. Then wish them a lovely evening and wave them goodbye.

I'd buy some of those old stink bombs we had years ago and set them off everytime they went out. They were a tiny vial thing and once broke the smell was horrible and you could never tell where it was coming from. Yep part of me very childish at my age 🤣

And sorry you have experienced that – batshit and awful.

I've never experienced any hate up north, I love it up there. It's since I moved to the south. The snobbery and judgemental people are rife down here. I really dislike living in the south because of it, but my husband won't move (he's southern). I get on really well with northerners, we go to the NW a lot and love it up there. I know there's a big Irish & Irish heritage population up there.

Every time you see the old owners, go over excitedly with an, “Oh I’m SO glad you’re here! You can come and help me work out what the smell is in the loft!” or “Thank goodness I’ve seen you! You must know how to deal with that drain issue!” And just keep coming up with more and more phantom issues with the house that you’re delighted they can advise you on.

I totally get how upsetting this is. Some of my neighbours have ignored me because I didn't join in the Thursday night clapping and saucepan bashing during Covid lockdown. They still gather out in the street sitting in garden chairs and drinking every Thursday and I am still outcast😆...I make a point of going out to water the garden or to the car and my cheery smile and wave every fucking Thursday gets right under their skin. Petty, I know, but it makes me feel better.

Do they sit out the front because it's sunnier?
I imagine it's something they have been doing for years but it is rude and thoughtless not to invite a new neighbour.
Do all the neighbours attend?
Could you chat to a friendlier neighbour about it?
I would not make a fuss like driving in and out etc. It would just give them an excuse to talk about you. Just go about your business as normal and try to ignore.

@sparklerain That sound like utter arseholes.

Being Irish shouldn't matter to them, why should it?

They sound like racist scrotes.

I'm sorry you have to live like that, amongst those dickheads.

Are they Tory types, by any chance? Daily Mail readers, Gammons, Middle Englanders?

Horrible.

Why do you care so much about what a bunch of complete strangers are doing. It seems like you are trying to create drama.

oakleaffy, your post makes needless sweeping assumptions. Not all white middle class people are racist.

Just ignore them. If they're trying to wind you up, don't give them the satisfaction. What your neighbours do isn't any of your business really. I would be too busy getting on with my own stuff to care!

But an awful lot of Daily mail types are.
Educated people far less so.

They are being arseholes to OP- Would you like it if a load of people pointedly sat outside your home, rather than have a party inside their own garden?

I didn't call these types ''Middle Class''...I called them ''Middle Englanders'' - a big difference.