Previous owners of house keep coming round to "visit"

[sparklerain]

Can someone tell me AIBU?

Some context is that we bought a house October 2023 it's in a small cul de sac off the Main Street there is 6 houses in the cul de sac and we are right at the bottom (or top) with the other houses forming round us (does that make sense)?

The neighbours have mainly spoke bar 1 house who snubs us since we've moved in (we don't know why) since the nice weather has come in they host BBQs every weekend and the previous owners of our house are around every time - they don't host them in their back garden though, they are sat out on the road right infront of our front window and we never get an invite. We've quite often seen the snubby house and previous owners of ours talking and pointing at out front garden etc as we have changed some of it and removed some old bushes. They sit so far out into the cul de sac we couldn't actually reverse off our driveway if we needed to be out.

Is there anything I can do or do I just have to accept it? I don't want to cause anymore of an atmosphere but I do think maybe speaking to one of the neighbours who is more polite about it might help? We feel intimidated in our home as we feel constantly watched by the ex owners. They're out playing music laughing shouting etc and don't seem to have a care in the world. I should also add they've large back gardens too so don't understand why they sit on the tarmac at the front as they've not grass etc out there

We don't have an annoying barking dog or loads of guests round constantly for them to be annoyed at us it's definitely more a case of "you've bought our friends house how dare you" when it was for sale we didn't force them out so we could buy it 🤣

OP - can you not park your car on the road outside your window? That would at least stop them being so close to your house.

Also do you just sit and watch them? I would go out in my own back garden and have my own chilled out BBQ 🤩

Ha no we did sit out in our own back garden but had to come in around 7pm as my DD was ready for bed she's only 2

Previous owners of my home continued popping round to ask for items they had "forgot" to take with them and 5 months after moving out decided to order all their Xmas shopping to here. Funnily enough after leaving the loft and shed full of their rubbish I wasn't feeling helpful so couldn't find the things they left behind and after I returned all their Xmas parcels return to sender they didn't try that again not seen them since!

Yes, that sounds bad. I think your hunch is right.

See what happens over the course of the year.

It may well be that they'll warm to you, but frankly I'd feel better off not spending too much time or energy on them. The whole thing has the feel of a big clique.

Neighbours can be weird due to your accent. I've lived in Wales for 30 yrs, but still have a hint of my Liverpool accent which people always comment on. My upstairs neighbours are Irish travellers who have decided to settle here and they're lovely, but most Welsh people don't like Scousers orTravellers, they think we'll steal anything that's not nailed down. It's not funny anymore (it never was).

We're in N Wales, get on fine with scousers it's the Mancs that cause hackles to rise because they're plain rude/ignorant. Fine with the Irish too. Perhaps because of the ferry connection.

You obviously have nicer neighbours.

You are being paranoid!

It’s quite possible that your vendor/s regret the sale. It’s nothing about you, but them.

I would try to ignore as much as possible, give everyone a wave when they are looking your way (my bet is they will be embarrassed) and try and move on.

our new neighbours couldn’t get our former neighbours out of the house on the Saturday following the sale. Personal belongings unpacked although the bulk of the furniture had gone.

turns out he didn’t want to leave and attempted to stop the sale.

I don't understand why you think this is at all directed at you. Your title makes it sound like they keep coming 'round to bother you and see your house, but that's misleading. It sounds like they're socializing with friends who they grew close to after living together for a long while and occasionally taking note of changes made to the yard & house, all of which is perfectly normal. I don't know why you put "visit" in scare quotes like you think they arranged a party as a pretense to spy on you. Low traffic cul de sacs in villages tend to develop their own expectations regarding socializing in front yards (or children playing in the street), and they're likely just carrying on with their gatherings as they did pre-move. Don't invite yourself but don't assume they're excluding you; consider instead that they simply aren't thinking about you and your family at all because you're just random people who live a few houses down now and not friends (at least yet).

If they're blocking your drive and don't quickly and politely move when you make to drive through, then speak up about that aspect. They're being oblivious on that front, but there's a very long way between oblivious and malicious.

So sorry that you've encountered antipathy about your ethnicity. It's horrid but may not be the reason for this happening. With anyone who judges you before getting to know you, it says more negative things about them than you.
I've been on the receiving end in Scotland sadly, as soon as the person heard my well spoken English accent, their attitude was horrendous. Ironically I'm of Irish descent.

Just carry on being your cheery self and give the snubby neighbours a wave 👋. They can either get over it or not but don't let it affect you or potentially relationships with nicer neighbours.

Sadly I have experienced negative shite in Wales and Scotland for my English accent.
I hope your neighbours aren't being judgemental knobs based on an accent 🙄
I would definitely need to take the car out though.......
Make sure the hen party is fantabulous, raucous (but only noisy until 11pm so they can't complain) 😁

Sorry to hear this. Where we are (South West) there is certainly a nervousness on hearing an Irish accent as we have a lot of gypsy sites locally, and - sorry - but they do cause enormous amounts of trouble and resentment. So that could be affecting them?

I'd do as you say and gatecrash - get to know them and let them get to know you. Forcibly....😁! If after that they are still nobs then leave them to their own devices (and drive the car in and out as much as you feel appropriate.....).

It's a shame as good neighbours are a great thing - but you get what you get.

The elderly couple we bought from were lovely - invited us to local events to meet people even before they left. They then popped round from time to time to see what we were doing to the place (he always refused tea or coffee but if you offered red wine then suddenly it was a yes please......😂). We negotiated the council tax band down a level and the council sent him a cheque - he was really chuffed and brought us round a crate of wine to say thank you!

Sadly he died a few years later. One day some strangers knocked at the door and asked if they could sprinkle their Dad's ashes under the trees at the back of the garden, as he loved it here. Slightly unexpected, but we said of course.

It's such a shame when people can't be civil for no obvious reason. It's also a shame you were unlucky enough to buy from such miserable gits! Ignore - and enjoy your lovely new home.

We're in a tourism area which the family work in so meet many nationalities. We have Irish and Liverpudlian friends as well. Neighbours are mostly Welsh.

Are you saying that where you’re from, people can’t tell the difference between an Irish person, a Traveller and a Gypsy?

Similar situation when we moved here. We had teenagers constantly ringing the doorbell to call for the previous families boys. I told them over and over that the boys no longer lived here. Also the previous owner thought it was acceptable to call every Friday night to collect his mail. He would keep me talking while commenting on everyone in the street. After months he asked if we'd found his laptop! As if we'd not say if we had. Eventually I told him I'd forward his mail. I did this for years. I think he just couldn't leave the street.

Get the hosepipe out to water the front garden and your driveway, park your car(s) on the road and wash those as well.

When your friends visit, do you entertain them by having a barbecue in the middle of the road?

Their behaviour regarding the BBQs does sound a bit weird, however more broadly it seems like they have formed a clique and it might take a good while before they consider you have earned your neighbourhood stripes. As others have said it’s kind of understandable that the previous house owners are returning to socialise. I think the thing to do is smile and say hi every time you get an opportunity, don’t assume you are going to want to get involved but just act like any friendly person would even if you think they have snubbed you. They probably haven’t, they just haven’t reached a level of familiarity that would lead to socialising together.
I hope in a year or two you are friendly enough with some of them to remember the early strain as a distant memory. Good luck with settling in.

I hate matey neighbours, or overly involved neighbours if I'm honest. Ours are nice , we keep an eye out for each other but are not in each others gardens having BBQs (thankfully!) my brother and his wife, their neighbours , pop in (without knocking) to their house, and from the day they moved on the guy a couple of houses up told them he sorts everyone's bin on bin day! I would have told him to go away from the get lost.

*get go

Are the neighbors perhaps wondering why you don’t just come out and say hello? Grab a six pack and invite yourself. If you get the cold shoulder, then you know where you stand.

Previous owner of my flat used to come round to pick up post because they're children went to the school down the road and they were friends with one of the other flats. They're still getting post (and bailiffs) turn up. Bizarrely I'm getting credit card statements for a new credit card but not the actual card.

I started ignoring their messages, especially the one accusing me of losing their post. Maybe they should have told people their new address.🤷‍♀️

They have no friends left in the block so have no reason to come round like they did a few years ago and I just chuck the post in the bin or send back.

This lot do and it's bloody awkwardly placed but hard to see as making a point. Using the drive while they're out there might flush out hidden motives.
However, there's no evidence it's about the OP's being Irish, other than the OP thinking it might be.

Sorry, a bit late to the game but maybe the old neighbours are worried/jealous that now they've moved away, your family will "take their place" (so to speak) in the neighbourhood friendship group? I would also check if there is a road Whatsapp group with your neighbours that you're not a part of yet - I lived on my street for 6 years before I realised there was a huge Whatsapp group where people arranged social events that I knew nothing of, and they were open to all.