How would you feel if your partner came abroad with no money?

[Iwilldestroyyou345]

You'd booked the flights and accommodation in advance. He didn't bring any cash, only a credit card which doesn't work in that country. Has savings of several thousand but couldn't even dip into them for say £100.

Obviously dipping into savings is unwise, but knowingly going abroad with 0 spending money is unfair to the other person no?

I travel a lot and only exchange cash if visiting a country/region where cards aren't reliably used (e.g. developing nations).

But I always have a couple of different cards with me, and I also have online banking via my phone, so I can transfer money around if needed. There is also telephone banking as a backup to that.

I don't know any working age adult who wouldn't be able to move funds around online in an emergency.

Oh come on.

If he were genuinely an "inexperienced traveller" he'd have sorted out cash. An "experienced traveller" these days are the ones who know that actually you need very little hard cash on you, especially if it's a destination that doesn't use the Euro and/or they won't be going back to any time soon so that they don't end up with unused foreign currency at the end.

Struggling to believe this is true.

If it is, my plan would be this:

1. Immediate dumping
2. New room
3. Allow him to transfer you money via online banking for however much he needs for the rest of the holiday. Withdraw the cash only when his money is in your account.

My family are away on holiday without me because I couldn’t get time to go. I paid their flights, arranged their accommodation and saved up the spending money because my partner is a twat with money. I feel for you OP. Ditch the partner before you’re stuck with kids and his debt and no way out.

I did this 22 years ago with my boyfriend of 8 months. We were travelling to Costa Rica and my credit card wouldn't work. I'd travelled extensively in Central and South America previously and it had never been a problem. It was very embarrassing!

Fortunately, it didn't seem to put the boyfriend off and we got engaged half way through the holiday. We've been very happily married for more than 20 years.

Bulkshit.

In 2024 no way he doesn’t have online access.

Bullshit*

How did you deal with it?

Did you find a way to transfer money to his account? (I had phone banking back in 2000, so this was definitely possible back then) Did you keep a tally of what you owed him? Get someone to wire you cash?

Or did you do what the OP's partner appears to have done and just dump the problem on him?

Is there any such thing as a credit card that doesn't work abroad? I know there are some you might not want to use because of fees, but they'll all work.

I was once away with a group and one of the men kept saying his card wouldn't work. Tbf he was transferring money to people who paid, but in one bar the barman said give it here, it should work...and it did.

Wait a minute, you're paying his debts and you're paying for him to go on holiday without you?

What do you get out of this martyrdom?

Who goes abroad without checking they have available funds? He’s taking the piss. As a couple we have a revolute card I top up and my other half brings cash. We work it out before we go.

So when the bill comes up just wait and see what he does. I would then say why do you expect me to pay ?

On face value sounds strange. However there is a lot of context missing. A similar post could be written about me. When I'm out with dh I never take money or cards with me. I can go abroad with him and not take anything.
I'm not a scrounger though. I manage the family money and savings and I earn. We have been together for 34 years so no issues.
In ops case more info is needed before a decision can be made but it does sound like he's taking the piss.

It's blatantly obvious from the OP that they are not married and do not have shared finances.

So no further information is needed. No essential context is missing. 🙄

@Iwilldestroyyou345 will you ever update us as to what has happened?

The only element of this I'm prepared to believe is no access to the savings account, as they are not all instant access.
However, he must have a current account, probably overdrawn, and his credit card "not working" probably means it's maxed out.
Practically what you do while away with this guy I dunno, cos presumably you are sharing a room/ apartment?
He's relying on you offering to pay for him on the basis he'll pay you back. Would he? I'd be inclined to say, "oh dear, I'm not sure what you're going to do" and leave him to stew for a day, see what happens. I bet he finds a solution. If he doesn't I'd give him the absolute bare minimum he needs for food and soft drinks and spend the week thinking how you're going to dump him, probably accepting you won't see the money again.

@TarantinoIsAMisogynist
It's blatantly obvious from the
OP that they are not married and do not have shared finances.

So no further information is needed. No essential context is missing. 🙄

So we have never had a massive drip feed on Mn, that has changed the whole context of a post?
Of course we have and it's made fools out of earlier responders.
I don't assume anything is obvious.

I feel so sorry for you because your partner is an ahole and you are allowing it. I would rather be on my own than be with a tight fisted lying b*d. Credit card that doesn’t work abroad. Lie. Didn’t transfer funds from savings before holiday. Tight fisted a**hole tactic. Get shot if this behaviour continues.

I'd be flying home on the next flight on my own and leaving him to it. I never put up with this shit. I've been treated like an idiot too often in the past.

You make a very good point. Some credit cards cannot be used abroad until you specifically arrange this with the card issuer.

This I would not do - you’d be leaving him with the free holiday… and then he'd sort his funds out as he’d have to and have a great time.

No, I’d stay but just head out on my own and, if it was a hotel with room service, contact the staff to prohibit charging to the room without my signature.

I'd bin him off and wish him a lovely holiday.

You booked hotel and flights and he can’t even give spring for drinks or a meal? Massive CF!! What if he needs to pop to the shop for blister plasters? He is hugely taking advantage!

My ex did this. “Lost” his credit card on the way to the airport, leaving me to pay for everthing. Sadly, that wasn’t the wake up call it should have been.

Nor was having to lend him money to buy my wedding ring, because he “forgot” it. Nor was the cheque for the pre-marital counselling bouncing. Nor was him “forgetting” to bring all his ID to the appointment with the bank to sort the joint mortgage. Although that last was a blessing in disguise because, when I found the empty gin bottles a month before the wedding, I could tell him to fuck right off out of MY house.

Be smarter than me. Don’t be his rescue adult.

I agree with all the others saying this is his attempt to get you to pay for everything. It’s truly low behaviour and a I’d challenge it and dump him.