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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you feel if your partner came abroad with no money?

339 replies

Iwilldestroyyou345 · 23/06/2024 11:00

You'd booked the flights and accommodation in advance. He didn't bring any cash, only a credit card which doesn't work in that country. Has savings of several thousand but couldn't even dip into them for say £100.

Obviously dipping into savings is unwise, but knowingly going abroad with 0 spending money is unfair to the other person no?

OP posts:
jackstini · 23/06/2024 13:23

Which country are you in?

A quick google does give a list of countries which don't/rarely accept credit cards - I was quite surprised

•	Bulgaria.
•	Belarus.
•	Cote d'Ivoire.
•	Indonesia.
•	Lithuania.
•	Macedonia.
•	Pakistan.
•	Romania
NoTouch · 23/06/2024 13:24

Define partner?

Not living together boyfriend - ditch him

Living in boyfriend with separate bank accounts and finances - ditch him if it is a pattern and there is no valid explanation.

Partner with shared finances - have words about you not being his mum and if he doesn’t understand it is very unattractive.

commonsense61 · 23/06/2024 13:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

DecafDodger · 23/06/2024 13:25

jackstini · 23/06/2024 13:23

Which country are you in?

A quick google does give a list of countries which don't/rarely accept credit cards - I was quite surprised

•	Bulgaria.
•	Belarus.
•	Cote d'Ivoire.
•	Indonesia.
•	Lithuania.
•	Macedonia.
•	Pakistan.
•	Romania

this list is BS, I've been to Romania, Lithuania, Belarus and Bulgaria quite recently and credit cards were accepted everywhere, did not need any cash.

GabriellaMontez · 23/06/2024 13:26

Why is it unwise to dip into savings? Isn't that what they're for?

IncompleteSenten · 23/06/2024 13:27

Id tell them I hope they sort it out, otherwise they're going to get mighty hungry because no fucking way will I be manipulated into funding their holiday with an oops I've travelled here and gosh I somehow didn't understand how money works

Fuck off. Do they think you're a fool?

TerrorAustralis · 23/06/2024 13:28

Iwilldestroyyou345 · 23/06/2024 11:05

Sorry forgot to say, it's a savings account you can't access online apparently.

How convenient.

DecafDodger · 23/06/2024 13:29

I'm pretty sure there was a similar thread not too long ago, but it was a female friend who only brought a few EUR, and also claimed that they have no access to any other money. There were also many excuses about not being able to access savings, no online banking etc. They just expected the travel partner to pay for everything.

viques · 23/06/2024 13:31

Iwilldestroyyou345 · 23/06/2024 11:05

Sorry forgot to say, it's a savings account you can't access online apparently.

Then they need to tap a solvent friend for a few hundred quid, the friend can transfer the money to YOUR bank account since the partner clearly doesn’t understand how money works.

Bjorkdidit · 23/06/2024 13:31

Is this the first time you've been away with him?

Is this disorganisation/stupidity or do you think it's a ruse to make you pay?

Is he normally like this or is it a one off?

But surely his credit card will work in a cash machine if nothing else. He withdraws a chunk of cash to use as spending money. If he pays it back as soon as you get home, it will cost £10/20 in interest and charges at most, even if the card is on Martin Lewis's naughty list rather than one of the 'recommended for spending on holiday' ones.

DDivaStar · 23/06/2024 13:33

Did they just email expect you you pay fur everything or did they not realise the cc won't work ?

Either way can you pay and pay you back once home....?

AcrossthePond55 · 23/06/2024 13:33

I'd be putting him in a taxi and paying a 1 way fare to the airport. Let him figure it out from there. Then I'd enjoy the rest of the holiday myself, especially if it's a 'lay around the pool/beach' type holiday.

@Iwilldestroyyou345 So, what's the rest of the story? Unless this is a very, very new relationship there must have been red flags on his stinginess before this.

StripeyDeckchair · 23/06/2024 13:34

Hes trying to pull a fast one on you
His credit card doesn't work in that country!! I call absolute bullshit

Either

  • he sorts the credit card our so that it works
  • he transfers £x to you ASAP for his spending money & share of holiday costs
(Over demand so he can't wail about running out)
  • he has a boring holiday while you go out & about & enjoy yourself because he chose not to bring money with him

Do not bail him out with your money - you won't get it back & he will always expect you to do this in the future.

Personally I'd dump him as soon as we got back to the UK - incompetence, being tight with money & expecting the other person to sort out your cock uos are all deeply unattractive and not good traits in a longvterm partner

JimJonesLivesInMyHead · 23/06/2024 13:35

I'd shove his tight arse on the next plane back home

beergiggles · 23/06/2024 13:35

This is an obvious scam which relies on the victim being blindsided, too naive to see what's going on, or too polite to call the scammer out.
Seems like a risky strategy to me because if the victim sees through it straight away the scammer is up the creek without a paddle!

Sierra26 · 23/06/2024 13:35

by credit card do you actually mean the debit card for his current account?

if so he has a current account and can transfer you money if he’s trying to avoid charges or if it genuinely doesn’t work abroad

he cannot possibly only have a savings account and a credit card. Where do his wages go and how does he pay his credit card off each month

Paisleydad · 23/06/2024 13:36

'Accidentally' lose his return ticket whilst you're out there.

I suspect that he will suddenly discover how resourceful he is.

Afternoonteavirgin · 23/06/2024 13:38

In the past I'd have paid and asked for it to be given back to me when we got home. I'd have kept track of everything we did.
Now, I'd say he had to get the issue resolved one way or another and then I'd go off and do my own thing until he had done juat that and we could do things together again.
I have to ask though, was there no signs of this type of behaviour before? You must have been iwth him for some length of time at least, before booking a holiday?

hot2trotter · 23/06/2024 13:38

They would have a boring time sat in the hotel room whilst I was out galavanting....

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 23/06/2024 13:41

Well he must have a current account and online banking for that surely? Sounds like he is taking the piss. Is he claiming he has no access to anything in a current account or online banking and only ever uses a credit card?

WrinklyScrotum · 23/06/2024 13:42

I’d say you’re probably on holiday with my ex 😆😂🤣

Is he really a “partner”? As in, do you live with him and share finances etc? This sounds like more of a boyfriend situation.

DexaVooveQhodu · 23/06/2024 13:46

Stop making his problems your problems.

Don't lend him a penny.

He is an idiot for travelling abroad without the means to support himself.

He can either phone people back in the UK who might be willing to wire him funds via Western Union etc or ge can throw himself on the mercy of the British Embassy

I would also strongly recommend ending your relationship with this utter loser-user.

User364837 · 23/06/2024 13:46

I mean, I don’t think many people bring actual currency these days.

So in answer to your question, If he was broke and couldn’t access any money with contactless or debt card, then I think I’d already know he was bad with money because surely he wouldn’t have any spending money at home either?

Aria999 · 23/06/2024 13:49

I have actually done this, I just assumed credit cards work everywhere and didn't plan ahead.

Probably a call to the credit card provider would get it unblocked for overseas use.

kittycloud · 23/06/2024 13:53

Tightarse cocklodger. He bought a credit card that doesn't work in that country?! What a complete waste of space. He can transfer some of his savings can't he. He's an adult not a child, he needs to step up to being a functional part of your relationship.

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