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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not sure what to make of this behaviour at a concert?

153 replies

Skeletonsandsidewalks · 23/06/2024 07:16

From the guy I'm dating. He was maybe slightly tipsy, not drunk as he'd only had 2 pints.
Anyway we were at a gig, I had to leave slightly earlier as I had work the next morning and didn't want to be too tired.
He wanted me to stay which is sweet, but he physically wouldn't let me go. It was a seated gig and I had to wrestle him off of me.
It went on for about several minutes, he thought it was funny but he would not let go of me and he's stronger than me. The woman sitting next to him was eyeballing us for a good while and I said to him, "Stop, people are looking."
I got free and he said to this woman "Oh she has work tomorrow."
Just looking back, not sure if it was just playful or not?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 24/06/2024 09:06

This is a huge red flag. I would absolutely end the relationship now.

He is using his physical strength to control you. This will escalate. It’s not “play fighting” its control.

No way would I stay with any one who would do this.

Purpleday1 · 24/06/2024 09:23

Dump asap.
Wouldn't trust him not to hurt you.
He sounds like an absolute twat.

honeylulu · 24/06/2024 09:48

This is not good. I agree with what most other posters have said. He is "jokingly" but unequivocally teaching you that he will make you do what he wants with his physical strength.

It reminded me of a domestic violence drama with Hermione Norris (several years ago) where the relationship started like that, with lots of jokey play fighting instigated by the man, always when she was doing or not doing something that didn't suit him. Then one time he "accidentally" kneed her in the abdomen and badly winded her. He laughed it off and told her it was her own fault for struggling too much. It escalated from there until he was full on beating her.

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