To reply to school mum on group chat?

[Whistledown1005]

I'm on my DC class group chat. It's all women. It doesn't get written on that often but today some mums have been talking about the amount and complexity of our DC homework. They are quite young still. Most other mums were in agreement that it was too much etc.

Then this one mum write a huge paragraph about how homework is the child's responsibility and we should do little support and guidance. Saying how she's lucky that her DD is independent and likes doing the homework and how they still fit in family time and hobbies and her older DC helps her younger one with homework. Says her DD takes so much pride in her homework and loves doing it. That she praises her DD with treats for doing her homework. Then tells everyone not to stress over it all.

This school mum is first to comment on everything. She ALWAYS brags about what her DDs are doing etc.

Would ibu to write something in the group chat about it being all well and good for her but not every child is like her darling DD and needs alot of support and guidance. Some of us are alone and being both parents. Some of us have full time jobs, some of us are just struggling in general. So we do find it tough and want to find solidarity with others about it. I eye rolled hard when I saw her message, she did not read the room.

Step away from the keyboard. Do NOT reply

What good can possibly come of replying?

Hang on no. You're all chatting about how the homework is shit and she's gone "actually I cope ok with it" why would you shut her down just because her experience is different to yours.

Maybe she is being truthful about her experience so you will look like a dick sending a reply. Sit on your hands and remember not to expect sympathy from this mum in future. She was foolish to send what she did but some people don’t know when to shut up.

If she’s a sensitive type then she will end up being the victim and you will look like the bully. Yanbu to be annoyed at what she said but this could backfire on you and your kids could be in the same class for years.

Nope, be the bigger person and ignore. She'll either get into an argument with you or feel even more superior to you.

Wouldn’t say anything, she may just be being honest even if it comes across as braggy.

If other parents were trying to reduce the complexity or amount of homework I’d be against it if DD was fine with the load too. I think it’s pretty reasonable for each parent to advocate for their own child.

TBF the other parents are probably judging her silently anyway.

Do t say anything.
Every other person I'd collectively rolling theor eyes.

Just ignore it

In your notes on your phone, write what you would like to send her. Get it all out. Then delete it.

Don’t reply. What good would come of it? I bet you’re not the only one rolling their eyes!

I’d have to respond something along the lines of “wow how lovely that this isn’t a problem in your family, but you’re definitely in the minority’”
Put a big red circle around the fact most of the parents are saying the same thing. Make her feel this big 🤏🏽

I’d respond to the person who messaged before them or so and just ignore her message, act like it’s not there. That will really annoy her with actually getting involved in the drama.

I was in a WhatsApp group like this made up of mums from a baby group we all went to. Honestly it got a bit much, some really bitchy and mean comments, bragging and lots of people saying stuff like sleep training etc is 'the only way to go'. I left the group and it's been great, I recommend you do the same if you can!

Anything important like the kids wearing their own clothes to school one day and the school will contact you somehow. It's easy to convince ourselves we NEED to be in these groups but we really don't. It's so liberating to leave.

Everyone will be thinking the same thing. Don't get involved

Why? Because her kid can handle the homework?

There isn’t true independence “her older DC helps her younger one with homework”.
😉

I would just put a thumbs up notification on her message, passive aggressive enough to not cause a scene

Nailed it.

Do not reply. Channel your inner Elsa and let it go.

Just lurk, say nothing.

I know what you mean OP, but those groups can get a bit much with all the moaning sometimes. All she's saying (with a side of bragging!) is that she doesn't have an issue with the homework.

I think both prospectives are valid; she won't be the only one in the group that thinks the homework is fine.

And everyone else will eye roll when they read your message.

Ahh she has just been bragging for so many years. She also comments alot on our Facebook community page too putting her opinion in. Which obviously she can do but its just the air of I'm better than you and so are my children

This is not your hill to die on. Do not reply.
There is always a mum who boasts. It shows more about her than anyone else. Yes it's annoying, I tend to ignore these kind of posts and just reply to others. In a way, I feel this is making my point.

I did once do a 'reply' on the class WhatsApp group as the 'drama llama' mum was slagging off a child on the group - I pointed out that this is a supportive class WhatsApp group and if she had issues with individuals please keep it offline. Thankfully other mums agreed with me. Predictably she flounced off.

She is allowed an opinion and experience which is different to yours. Her tone might have come across wrong but there's no need to try to shut her down just because she has advantages of time etc which you don't. She could have worded it a bit more sensitively perhaps, but that doesn't mean she isn't allowed to have a different thought process. It's like saying that a support group for a particular issue is only to be used by people with negative experiences / opinions. That's not support, it's collective complaining / whining / doom-mongering). If her advice / comment isn't useful to you, just roll your eyes and move on.