To reply to school mum on group chat?

[Whistledown1005]

I'm on my DC class group chat. It's all women. It doesn't get written on that often but today some mums have been talking about the amount and complexity of our DC homework. They are quite young still. Most other mums were in agreement that it was too much etc.

Then this one mum write a huge paragraph about how homework is the child's responsibility and we should do little support and guidance. Saying how she's lucky that her DD is independent and likes doing the homework and how they still fit in family time and hobbies and her older DC helps her younger one with homework. Says her DD takes so much pride in her homework and loves doing it. That she praises her DD with treats for doing her homework. Then tells everyone not to stress over it all.

This school mum is first to comment on everything. She ALWAYS brags about what her DDs are doing etc.

Would ibu to write something in the group chat about it being all well and good for her but not every child is like her darling DD and needs alot of support and guidance. Some of us are alone and being both parents. Some of us have full time jobs, some of us are just struggling in general. So we do find it tough and want to find solidarity with others about it. I eye rolled hard when I saw her message, she did not read the room.

Another step away from the WhatsApp group ..

She may have rose tinted glasses .

she isn’t going to empathise because you say anything ..

join the majority of eye rollers and carry on

Just ignore.

Don’t try to put her in her place, you will look foolish. Just now it is her looking foolish.

Don’t “dissect” her or any other school mums, child friendships change and so do their mum friendships and you might find it awkward in the future.

Like all parents she’ll have easy and hard bits with her child and it is a long way down when she has started with them on such a high pedestal.

Don't do it! You will look like a dick!

Don't reply.

Got to say I agree with her to a point, I've always got mine to do their homework independently, if they get it wrong or can't do it then at least the teacher knows that's what they're struggling with. I don't see the point in basically doing it for them or being very involved with it

@Sogew id maybe intentionally try and make her feel that big as it would have been the exact same energy she came at me with. Somebody gives you that energy, you match it.

She certainly hasn’t read the room.

But I wouldn’t say anything and I definitely wouldn’t reply with what you said. This bit:

Some of us are alone and being both parents. Some of us have full time jobs,

… honestly, I just thought, “and?”
Thats a reason it’s harder, sure. But I don’t think either of those are good reasons not to support your kids’ education.

@Dramatic did you write that on a WhatsApp group 😂

sigh I try my best with DC education. I do what I can and make them do the homework that's manageable. It's not about supporting because I do. It's about actually have the time and juggling 10 million other more pressing things in our lives.

Plus the "homework" is being called projects. They are actual full on project. Think exhibitions, models, artwork pieces etc.

she’s entitled to have a different opinion and a different approach to things. I can see why it’s annoying, show-offs usually are. But responding on the WhatsApp will just generate drama.

sigh yes, that’s all reasons I said it’s harder. But, you still do it. So you’d look silly giving those things as a reason not to do it.

Say nothing...it might be the mums way of coping and if you respond nasty it be bullying. ..let it ride over you. You no idea what's happening in everyone s life ...I know a friend is struggling when she puts picture perfect life on Facebook. She has a terminal disease and sadly won't see her child grow up but yuh never know that from her Facebook....maybe in this mums case posting on Whatsapp is her controlling a small part of her life!

Take the high road and ignore her.

None of these group chats were around when mine were at school. Due to pre social media. I’ve often read about them on here, and actually good for sharing information helpful to the group, but don’t like the way some of the group chats appear to become bitch fests, where parents start to moan about teachers, and how schools are run. Surely this isn’t the platform for which these apps were intended?

This. 👆. Exactly what I was about to write.

Because it's a very insensitive and self obsessed message! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

"We have a much smaller group chat of mums who I'm actually friends with and so are our children. They all felt the same way as me"

Then you don't need to comment OP

Is the issue the homework?
or the fact you are struggling to support your child with homework?

If it’s the homework, talk to the teacher

if it’s supporting your child then that’s for you to work around, not her fault that she has a better support network.

Either way no need to comment in the group.

Your suggestion that OP should add fuel the flames of this juvenile WhatsApp drama was ridiculous; I stand by suggesting the OP take the high road and does not participate in this nonsense, tempted as she may be.

To clarify, when I said I’d dissect her, sadly I meant that’s actually what I would do – it’s definitely not the wise, kind or generous thing to do

Don't respond.

I remember a mum who worked 2 days a week saying she couldn't understand why if she can get her 3 kids to do spellings everyday, why everyone can't. I smiled and said nothing, whilst thinking of the days I'm barely home for bed, let alone homework.

Don't feel bad, do what you can.

As a rule of thumb... If you have to ask 'is it a good idea to send this message?'

9 times out of 10 the answer is no.

She has a different opinion/experience of homework, that's all. No need to respond. Perhaps her wording was off, but it could be an opportunity to learn from her - she might have useful tips that you could benefit from - instead of shutting her down. FWIW I agree with her.

This is true.

What was she meant to do? Lie? She is happy with the amount of homework her child gets. Deal with it

If you eye rolled, then so did most other people. No reply is the best reply here.