To be annoyed at SIL-to-be?

[CableCar]

My brother and I are your average siblings. We get along, see each other a couple of times a year, chat about the important things, always celebrate birthdays with gifts to one another etc.

My brother is getting married and my SIL-to-be has no interest in involving my family in the wedding. Neither me nor my DC (primary aged children) have been asked to be part of the bridal party, which is a bit of a shame for my DC as they're little and would make cute flower girls / page boy etc, but it's not my wedding, so that's fair enough.

However I just found out that I haven't been invited to her hen party, which is at a spa. Now I personally think that as sister of the groom it is etiquette to invite me... I am a bit offended as I'd have hoped to have come along to her hen party to celebrate - she will be my SIL after all! If this is how their wedding is going I am starting to feel like she doesn't value me, nor care for my brother's family. My mum hasn't been invited either. AIBU? All the hen weekends I have EVER been on have always included the close family on both sides of the wedding party, not just the bride.

It bothers me as it makes me think she doesn't particularly care for me!

YANBU - it's a bit rude to not invite you

YABU - it's her hen do, let her do as she pleases

I certainly wouldn't invite my SIL or MIL to anything, not even the wedding if we'd had a proper one! It's not your hen night nor your wedding OP YABU

*I won't stop arranging to meet up with my brother and his future-wife

Despite them never having accepted one single invite from you

Despite them *never having invited you

Direct quote from you. The one I initially told you to leave it alone because of. I've seen many along the same lines from you.

OP stated she won't stop arranging to see her brother and you, for about the 5th time, said this. It very much sounds like you're saying "they DON'T want to see you". Which is nasty. And is likely the reason OP said she's not coming back because of how people are speaking to her about her relationship with her family.

You might not, but it would be weird for their own brother and son not to invite them to his wedding 😂

I would have never in a million years invited my in-laws to my hen, especially my mother in law. It's for the bride and her friends to let loose. I don't think it's common practice at all to invite relatives of the groom if you're not close to them.

My hen do was just me and my friends, having a boozy night on the town. Wouldn't have occurred for my to invite my mum or mil or other inlaws

You're right that she doesn't seem to like you very much

She barely knows the op. It may just be indifference, not that she actively dislikes her.

It sounds like you barely see her tbh if you only see your brother twice a year

No, you're just posting a lot of rubbish across a lot of posts. Multiple posts responding to one thing.

It doesn't take much to be kind. You seem to be expending a lot of effort to be "honest", which lets be truthful, is a way to just dig at people.

I'm in a similar situation with regards to the hen party. In my case my mum was invited but already had plans so they decided not to bother to invite me. As I already feel like I'm not wanted in my siblings life I now don't feel like going to the wedding particularly as I will lose wages and will get a fine for taking my dc out of school to attend.

I always think of the hen/ stag as a good opportunity for people to meet each other before the wedding. As well as a great chance to celebrate.

But I think this may be a generational difference.

Where I come from, it’s very much the norm to invite your future MIL & SILs to the Hen Party. I’ve never heard of having another Hen Event, though… I imagine that’s in the same realm as a day before / day after scenario (money spinner for hotel).

Yabu. I had my friends and sisters at my hen night, friends, sisters and my cousin as my bridesmaids and flower girl. Dh had his brother as best man. Bil and SIL did the same. Bil had dh as his best man, SIL had her family as bridesmaids etc.