To ask when you knew you had to split

[WishIwasmumsy]

I had my husband back after a trial separation, we told the kids he was looking after grandparents house so never actually told them we were splitting. Since having him back I am regretting my decision, nothing has changed. He is still so lazy and goes out all the time. Last week he went to 2 gigs and was rough the following days and tonight he has just asked if he can go to one as he has been offered tickets. This will mean he will not come home from work, I think this time I am even more unhappy than last time. We don't talk anymore, I just go to bed as I am tired or just avoiding him. Our kids ae 6 and 3 and I just want what is best for them.

Yes, that is revolting. Men like him seem to struggle to understand that women need to be respected. If someone treats me like a skivvy, sex isn’t happening.

I just think we are at a point of no return. The atmosphere is getting unbearable. I was watching my 3 month old nephew yesterday and asked him to hold him whilst I sorted out OUR dinner. His reply was 'what are giving me that for'. I have tried so hard to be civil and tied to stay upbeat but I am drained now.

You've been at the point of no return for months by the sound if.

OP this man will drag you down further and further. Time to end this for good.

Nothing happens to men when they are 'deprived' of sex. Surely it should be part of a loving partnership and I'm not sure your partnership is loving. Make plans.......

What is he claiming happens to men who don't "get" sex?

For me it was when he forgot my birthday (it was also Valentine's Day. Her forgot that too). After 6 years together. I didn't mention anything to him on the day and then two weeks later we were arguing and he said "stop taking life so seriously, you're only 27!". I then realised he completely didn't have a clue. (Obviously this wasn't the only thing but it had been building for a while and this was the tipping point).

Do you feel you're at your tipping point?

He seemed so quiet and nice at the start @WishIwasmumsy because that's his public persona , the one his friends probably still see now. Everyone is a bit different at home but he's really not that person, the difficult, demanding man is his true self. Let's face it, if he was like that outside he wouldn't have any friends.

Yes I think so, I have nothing else to give and just feel like I dont care anymore. I am literally pissing in the wind trying to make it work.

I think you need to make a firm decision to stop trying to make it work.

When I found my inner strength and decided to stop putting up with shit and make a better life for my kids and myself.
Best decision EVER. Twice.

For me it took 19 years to admit how unhappy I was.
Unfortunately my stubborness and my desire for my children to not have divorced parents made me put up with being miserable for at least 15 years longer than I should have.

I woke up one morning with the realisation that if I didnt end it I would still be waking up miserable and 60+ and have wasted far too much life.
I turned over in bed, told him he had to go and that was that!!!

I had been married at 16 and had never lived as the only adult in the house, it was very different but my daughters were teenagers and we muddled along. Never once regretted it.

So do you wish you would have done it sooner?

Well i don't know about the PP but I definitely wish I'd done it sooner. To be honest I felt like a single parent for a lot of the time over the years but without the autonomy, the child free weekends while DC were at his (if that happened) and I was the main wage earner too so it was only my own lack of confidence to go it alone and like the PP, the desire for the DC not to come from a "broken home". In reality they would have maybe had a better experience with us apart.

It wasn't all bad by any means, but I am already happier without him here. I've stopped walking about the house swearing to myself with the frustration.