Boyfriend wants me to put his car under my car insurance

[CrossingBoundaries007]

Sorry for the log post. First for the backstory I have been dating this he's really nice, kind, affectionate, not stingy etc. He has expressed a desire to to marry me. He is divorced with 3 kids.

The issue is that when we met he told me about his bad credit. I wasn't really sure why but he had some debt, so hasn't been able to get a mortgage but he is self employed (contractor) earns comfortably so he's been trying to pay it off.

The issue now is recently he's found it hard to pay his bills. He works hard but the contacts have not been as consistent and many don't pay as well as before. He's just told me he can't pay his car insurance which was really high and he can't pay his rent and he pays the rent of his ex wife ) (in full) who the children live with and he has a child in a fee private school school fees is around 7k. He never discussed his choice to put his child in private school with me he just told me after the fact and that's a big part of my he has large outgoings. He's now finding it hard to pay that also.

The insurance company have cancelled his insurance for not paying and he really needs his car to drive to work which can be very far away sometimes.

i want to help him I suggested speaking to citizens advice etc but he's suggested I put his car under my name so he can continue to drive it. He has about 12 points on his licence (speeding) and is at risk of losing his licence which he's going to court for to appeal.

I feel bad for him but what would you wise ladies do in this situation. A I being unreasonable to say no. I'm a single mum btw.

He said he did it cos he passed 11+ but wasn't offered a place due to catchment

That doesn't sound right to me. Someone come along and tell me grammar schools are catchment-based. I'm not in the uK.

So he fully intends to treat his other children differently. Ok. And knowing full well that he couldn't afford it anyway because he doesn't have a stable reliable income and already had a terrible record for driving offences, he still thought this was a good idea? Come on, she just went along with it? I hate to break it to you but they both would have attended the initial induction meetings together. He probably hasn't told you that though..

The loan request should have been your signal to leave that relationship. He will just keep taking and taking from you and your DC.

If you enjoy his company and you aren't wanting more, he could be a pleasant boyfriend.

Just don't subsidise him for anything, don't get married, and don't let him move in. Keep your legal and financial stuff completely separate

You can't insure a car if you don't own it - you have no insurable interest. He would need to transfer the ownership of his vehicle to you. Regardless of this, I wouldn't recommend it. He needs to sort it out. Also, having an insurance policy forcibly cancelled is something that needs to be declared on any new insurance policies he may take out.

What the FUCK. Actually get rid of this guy, now. He’s literally just using you.

If you do this (which you shouldn't) you could be liable for paying it all or even possibly refused insurance for yourself. Could YOU cope with no car insurance?

You do realise if you do this his next move will be not being able to pay rent - so he will move in with you. Then he won't be able to pay half the bills... This would mean YOUR child would be subsidising a strange man, a strange woman, and three strange kids all because their mother fancied a man. Grow a pair and tell this future cocklodger NO. Better yet WE ARE OVER. Seriously OP, we see your situation time and time again. Be a real mother and consider your child first. Every single time.

Of course you can. You just have to inform the insurance company.
It is however necessary to put him as the main driver, otherwise it’s fronting.
The company would suss you out v. quickly.

Keep your finances totally separate from this huge problem. Is he currently driving without insurance? How is he getting to work? If he's already got 12 points, he should be banned. Does he even have a current valid licence? Run away.

So his ex's rent is paid in full and his child is in private school but he can't afford his rent or car insurance. If he can't afford his own rent why is he paying for someone else's? Maybe he should be speaking to his ex first about her starting to support herself unless the rent payment is in place of maintenance. If he's paying maintenance then he shouldn't be paying her rent as well.

You're risking your own insurance by putting him on it. 12 points? Really? He needs to start being a bit more responsible and until then it's not up to you to bail him out. Do you really think this will just stop at car insurance? It won't. There will be something else and before you know it he'll have moved in with you and you'll be feeding him and his 3 kids. Meanwhile he'll still be paying his ex's rent.

None of this adds up.

The private school fees amount, the fact that he chose the school and she didn't know even though she is primary carer. Even the fact that she's in rented accommodation and he's paying...

Doesn't make any sense.

His insurance status would be investigated next time he speeds, or has an accident or looses his license. You will be found to have committed fraud, as that is what it is. He is the main driver of the car, not you. You will be held to account for it. Do you really want that on your insurance record forever, plus you will have a criminal record. Imagine what that will do to your future employability. You won’t be able to get insurance, you won’t be able to hold a job that you need to drive to. This is not to mention the stress it will cause your own children. He knows all this, yet he is asking you to do it. This man doesn’t give a stuff about you.

He is not pleasant, he's asked her to commit fraud.

You do realise he's full of shit and telling you a pack of lies?

@CrossingBoundaries007how old is your child and how long have you been seeing cf.

You can be insured on a car you don’t own. I’m not sure what he’s proposing actually - that the OP pay his insurance or that she is the main named driver and he is an additional driver. But his premiums would still be high.

In addition to all of the other reasons pp have already listed, If you took out an insurance policy for him, this is called Fronting and is illegal.
If the insurance company find out, any claim would be invalid, the policy would be cancelled and a marker placed on your name meaning your own insurance may also be invalid/cancelled and you would subsequently find it difficult to get car insurance in the future.
I would imagine the fact you had 2 insurance policies on 2 different cars that you were claiming were both your main car, would lead to Insurance Company to be suspicious of fronting in the event of a claim and to investigate. It would be you suffering the consequences for this man.
His story doesn't add up anyway - why would not paying his insurance mean he was unable to get a new policy? Surely he could just pay the year policy cost up front as is always an option? If he can afford £7000 x3 terms school fees , he can afford a (?) £500 year insurance policy.

You say that like you were actually asserting yourself but the fact you split with him multiple times and only got back with him because you couldn't find anyone else you liked is incredibly naive. Can you honestly not see what a terrible bet this man is to have in your child's life? Asking you to take out loans, asking you to committ insurance fraud, I mean with kindness are you really this desperate for a boyfriend?

I can’t highlight this post enough to you @CrossingBoundaries007 do not bail this guy out

his wife can get benefits and the private school thing can change.

NONE of this is on you to fix

Run for the hills. Dont tie yourself to this careless, irresponsible feckless person or you’ll spend your struggling and purging from one crisis to the next. Dont get pregnant or you’re in for a life of misery.

Id be running the moment I heard the words im divorced and 3 kids.
No thank you.

I think from your updates, you're starting to wise up as to why you shouldn't agree to support his latest cheeky fucker request. Glad to hear you said 'no' to his request for a loan too...and in that respect and the reason why you've posted a question on here, it shows that your gut feeling was that you should also say no to the car insurance.

Question is, why do you think a 'no' to this latest request required an AIBU question on here? You felt strong enough to reject his loan request so why not the car insurance? Is he applying more and more pressure each time money/credit is asked for? Do you not feel that you have sufficient 'reason' to say no to him this time round(hence why you asked in your 2nd update)?

Always go with your gut feel OP. Given that he had previous debt before you met him, he's not going to miraculously change now so going forward you KNOW that you will always be bailing him out for something or other. And that's not fair, particularly when your hard earned money will be paying his ex-wife's rent, his kids private school etc whilst you and your child do without. You know what's coming if you stay with him OP so best get shot.

It doesn't. Why isn't he paying maintenance for his children? And if he is then why is he also paying their full rent and school fees. Sounds like he's not telling OP the truth but she comes over so gullible it probably isn't difficult for him to bullshit her. None of this adds up. There's no way she wouldn't have been involved in the private schooling meetings.

I use to work in car insurance;what he's asking is called fronting and it's illegal.

You're deserve better than this OP,