6 year child - stranger talking about her penis

[hermenmumster]

Trigger warning : sensitive topic around Gender Identity

I was at a work event (private garden - bring family along deal) and someone there is a transgender woman- she was tall, bearded ,hirsuite and wearing a dress and heels.
My daughter (6) was roaming around with the other kids and i think must have asked the lady why she was wearing a dress.
She explained that she ´was born a man with a willy , and is now a lady ’

Something jarred in me about a grown person talking about gentalia to a 6 year old child.
What does the mumsnet think?
AIBU to be annoyed?

Think about it this way, if a man at a works even had said anything to your 6 year old daughter about a penis would you have reported him to HR.

So far on this thread we have the following about your daughter:

• She should not have asked the question
• She was rude
• It's perfectly normal for men to discuss their genitalia with children
• Children aged 6 are at fault for asking innocent questions
• She's lying

And about you we have:

• The whole thing is untrue as no tran-sexual man would ever do this so you are making the entire thing up
• You're a closet transphobe
• Your daughter is lying to you

Basically all your safeguarding instincts as a mother are gone out the window because of your fear of being labelled transphobic. You are so afraid because where you work is so 'captured' that you in turn are afraid to act in the support of your child and all of our children.

Now in whose interest is that? Because it most certainly is not in the interest of your daughter.

He literally talked about his penis?

All the more reason to call out those that do use 'trans' as a cover for predatory behaviour.

Surely you don't think most trans people would be OK with a stranger discussing their genitals with a child? To my knowledge being trans doesn't make you blind to safeguarding. Please stop tarnishing an entire group in your misguided attempt to defend them. With friends like you.....

No one has said that the majority of transwomen are perverts but Ray Blanchard, who has studied transgenderism extensively, claims that about 80% of transwomen are autogynophiles. AGP is a sexual paraphilia but this does not make someone a sexual predator.

The issue now, is this is a trusted person.

But the OP now faces the prospect of telling a six year old why a trusted person was saying things that are impossible.

It is not possible to change sex. It's not an appropriate conversation for a 6 year old without parental consent.

This is not ok.

If it wasn’t a trans woman (ie dressed as they were) would you be ok with any man speaking in the same way to a six year old?

I disagree that it's rude for the child to ask.

They clearly saw something that did not make sense to them and questioned it.

I don't think being outspoken or blunt is rude, and by doing so to the man, OP overheard and it has rightly triggered her instincts that something is amiss.

The man could have simply said, I am a transwoman, this is something you should ask your parents about. He had no need to spread his ideology to a child, or even mention his genitals. That's creep behaviour.

Six year olds are being taught about difference because developmentally it is the time they ask questions about difference.

It isn't being rude. It's doing what is developmentally age appropriate.

This is why gender politics are inappropriate at this age because the children don't have the capacity to fully understand the concept.

he claims but doesn't have any actual data to back it up.

And if you had bothered to actually read any of my posts, I have repeatedly said that it should have been fed back to a manager. I wouldn't have just left it to happen again. I have repeatedly said it should have been called out.

Agree with a previous poster that it's creep behaviour. As it was the first time you met him, you know nothing about him, or his intentions so it is just creepy. Talking to a little girl about your penis however you word it is not acceptable in my opinion!

Yeah but in gender woo woo land, there are men without willys ( transmen) so perhaps he felt the need to clarify although I agree not appropriate to say to a chikd

its a man in a dress

So many predator apologists in this thread

I am so sorry that happened to you when you were 6. How awful

The child finding it funny is not a sign it isn't grooming; it is a sign the grooming is working.

Exactly!

all people who have had surgery are transwomen.

This is not true.

• not all men who have had their penis removed is a transwoman
• not all men who have deliberately had their penis removed call themselves a transwoman
• men who have had their penis removed and realised they made a mistake are not transwomen

Less than 10% of transwomen have their penis removed. You seem to believe that the other 90% of trans woman are not trans. You don't have to have surgery to be trans. The truth is transexual men are quite attached to their penis.

It's weird, creepy and I would say bordering on sexually abusive.

The issue is not that it was a transperson. No adult should be taking about their genitals with children!

You seem to believe that the other 90% of trans woman are not trans.

Where did you get that from?

I literally said “not all trans women have had surgery”.

That’s where it begins and ends

If you’ve had your penis removed then realise you’ve made a mistake where does that leave you

Please feel free to Google his body of work I think you will find he does have data, he's been researching and publishing on this subject for decades.

There is also data which shows that 50-60% (depends on the year) of transwomen in prison are sex offenders but in the male prison population the percentage of sex offenders is 15-20%.

Not sure, but you wont be a woman!!

It leaves you still a man and with the same mental health issues that led you to remove a healthy part of your body.

@HappierTimesAhead Much as I thought

In terms of safeguarding, an adult discussing penises with a six year old without thinking how it might raise red flags isn't safeguarding.

Safeguarding isn't just about the child. It's also about protecting yourself from situations which can be misinterpreted.

Teachers have to follow certain protocols over certain issues to ensure they are not alone.

In terms of this situation, the fact that it sounds like there is no other present is very much part of the problem and demonstrates a lack of understanding of safeguarding by this adult.

That makes me ask questions.