To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

Name fail change or sock puppeting @Frogpole ?

You can’t afford to pay her back now and couldn’t afford it then? Why did you agree to go? Why hadn’t you made plans?

All very strange.

But yes pay her back and see it as a fine for behaving so poorly.

Find the money. Sell something.

Why did you agree for her to buy the ticket if you still can't afford it?

And why didn't friend remind you and/or sell the ticket on?

Odd behaviour and lack of comms from you both, but mainly you.

I can’t afford to send her £200.

Then why did you agree to have her buy the ticket? What use would it have been that she reminded you? No one forgets that they owe someone else that much money, especially not if that person is a friend.

I don't blame her. You've completely taken advantage, and you don't even seem to care.

That seems really passive aggressive of her. I can't stand people who 'forget' about money they owe but she went about this all wrong.

If the friend had posted here before the gig, a few posters would have told her to be proactive, remind you, and then if you don't pay to go with someone else.

She did absolutely FA and is now sulking.

If I’d bought someone a gig ticket I can’t think of why I wouldn’t message them saying “looking forward to gig on Sat.. etc” other than a) she never bought you a ticket anyway, b) she gave it to someone else c) she didn’t want to go with you anymore, you’re ghosted. Whichever it is, you don’t owe her any money

YAB massively U.
You need to pay her back, even if done gradually. I know circumstances change, but sounds like you were strapped for cash when you agreed to go to the gig and paying your friend back should have been a priority. I can’t imagine agreeing to pay £200 for a gig (presumably at that price a very well known band/artist and exciting gig!) and forgetting about it. A £200 ticket is a massive deal and big decision in my mind- something I’d only pay for/agree to pay for for a gig I’d be insanely excited about it!

Of course in normal circumstances I’d just message the friend that owes me money and remind her (although I do hate doing so), and make plans for the gig - but it sounds like there’s a back story to this and it’s probably not the first time you’ve been flaky with your friend and she just had enough.

So you are saying her friendship is worth less than £200. You have behaved badly, I suspect it isn't the first time and I suspect your friend is really hurt. She was waiting for you to be better.
You need to step up here, apologise so profusely, invite her round for cheap meal at yours and pay her as much as you can afford each pay day. Do not buy any new clothes or go out for any big meals/occasions until you have paid her back. She has probably seen your socials of you going out with other people etc and you have left her to effectively pay £400 to go on her own to a gig that would have been much nicer to go with a good friend.
Step up here, be better

This. You owe her £200, do the right thing and pay up, in instalments if needs be. You let her pay for a ticket in anticipation of being reimbursed.

I'm not sure she went on her own. Surely she would've reminded you if she was going to do that.

Can she afford to lose £200? Presumably you thought you could afford this at the time you agreed to go. What has changed?

You need to agree a payment plan and pay her back.

I am gonna guess that you have spent the last few months avoiding her on purpose because you decided you can't afford it and she decided to keep quiet and see how much of a CF her 'friend' was. Cost her £200 but now she knows.

If we're talking TS tickets then there is no way you 'forgot' about it. I am not a fan at all and it's hard to avoid it in the news/social media etc. It's everywhere, even on this forum.

YABVVU

You couldn’t afford it then and you can’t afford it now so you should never have agreed to go, let alone agree to have her pay.

Sounds like your is fed up with your flakiness. I wouldn’t expect the friendship to survive.

How the hell do you forget you owe a friend £200? Nah you just didn't want to pay it. Guessing she went to the concert with someone else who DID pay for the ticket

You are not her friend. She is well rid of you. You sound very entitled and self-unaware

You couldn't afford the money when your friend bought the ticket and you can't afford it now.
So, what exactly did you expect your friend to send you as a reminder? "Just to remind you, you haven't paid me for the gig ticket yet, please can you send the money?". Sounds like your response would have been "oh yeah, sorry I don't have the money". Not very helpful to your friend.

This.

Another classic “aibu” where the OP refuses to accept they’re the unreasonable one…

How on earth did you forget you owed her £200? Surely pay day was within 4 weeks of her buying the tickets, is she seriously supposed to believe you forgot to pay her within that time?

I'd be angry with you if I was her. The onus was on you to contact her to pay her back and then find out the details for the concert. Not just claim to have forgotten to do all of this

You owe her £200 now and morally should pay it to her.

Sorry but most people are being quite weird on here. If I invited someone to a gig and got tickets I am the event organiser and it’s my job to message the invitee and say “looking forward to next week, shall we meet at X time or have dinner first?” Really strange and passive aggressive of this friend to just not saying anything at all and go without you! There must be more background to this, like she thinks you don’t care about her and this was some sort of quite immature test that you failed and now she’s not speaking to you.

I am less surprised about forgetting to pay than forgetting the gig - which should have been on your calendar and a clear reminder to pay every time you saw it

Especially a £200 gig

Many people feel awkward asking more than once

You “forgot” to pay her and “forgot” the gig as well. I think it’s time you started setting yourself done reminders and using your calendar.

and you can’t afford to send her money now either. Did you ever have any intention of paying? Or did you hope she’d “forget” too?

I hope she was able to sell your ticket (is it Taylor Swift because of it is she’ll have had no problem) and had a brilliant time.

I do think a “don’t forget my £200” text would’ve been wise from her, given your all round flakiness. Do you have previous for this?

I doubt it’s Taylor Swift @MissUltraViolet as they were on sale so much earlier than that. I think we’ve had our tickets for over a year. I’m betting Killers. Less publicity, but still very expensive.

@Frogpole , you okay hun?

It's weird how you didn't pay her say £20-£50 when she bought it and then the same the month after. You couldn't have forgotten 4 weeks after you had both ordered the tickets.

Also odd she didn't ask for a payment towards it or give her bank details.

My DDs friends often pay for skating / cinema and I transfer the same day.!

Buying 2 tickets for a gig doesn't make you "the event organiser".

It sounds like the friend was the last person to initiate contact when she invited OP to dinner. In April. So having not heard from OP in 2 months after her dinner invitation was declined, it's not really that weird that the friend is reticent to be the one to open contact again about a gig that OP hasn't even bothered to pay for. From friend's perspective, it must seem like OP has no interest.