To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

There's no either/or here. Both people have actions they can take. If a friend forgot to pay me back that kind of money, I wouldn't just sit there and stew about it. Losing £200 isn't a 'do nothing' situation to me, however annoyingly careless the friend might be.

Good point. You couldn't afford it at Christmas and 6 months later you still can't afford it. I doubt you "forgot". I think you probably had good intentions, at the start, but as time went on you starting avoiding your friend and "forgetting" about the concert and that you owed her for it.

You don't have the money, so you avoided her hoping she'd stop asking. And she did, as per your previous post when she said she'd hoped you'd do the right thing but then just gave up.

You've really hurt your friend. Even if she managed to resell the ticket and recoup her cost, it's no fun going to a gig on your own. She's not a priority to you. Twice you blew her off and didn't try to rearrange anything with her. That's ok. Sometimes friendships drift away. But you've behaved really sneakily here.

Not legally, morally! God I must be pretty naive but this isn't normal is it? You can't just decide not to pay someone a substantial sum of money you owe them. How would that sit on your conscience?!

So did you not try and contact her at all between December and February?

I think that’s really odd, especially when you’ve just borrowed £200 from her.

She probably felt awkward asking and you are the one in the wrong. Why didn't you make a note to pay her when you got paid, if you weren't likely to remember? Why didn't you put the gig in your diary?

I still think it odd she didn't ask you before the gig "Just checking you haven't forgotten about the gig on..."

If I'd bought the tickets for a friend who wanted to to o think I'd be checking they're still up for it and meaning they need to pay (if I didn't want to ask for payment directly)

You do need to pay her back OP

Also wondering whether you've done this in the past

So you borrowed £200 for gig tickets. Didn't write it down or put it in your phone.

Didn't pay her back

Blew her off for an event and said you're going with others when you could have invited her

Blew her off for dinner and didn't make an alternative

If I was her I'd have offered the ticket to a friend and dropped you as well, you're awful

This sums it up. Some people are complete cheeky fuckers. I would be so embarrassed. Imagine just not giving a fuck?

There's a few phrases being bandied about on this thread for this behaviour. What about your conscience? Are you not embarrassed? Etc
I've known a few people like this, and the thing is, they genuinely don't feel those things. They're aren't actively trying to be unkind, They just cannot see anything from anyone's pov other than their own. And do not care. I guess it's a disorder of sorts. Narcissism?

Yeah, I'd give up on you to be honest

If you care about your friend then just contact her now and apologize for forgetting, ask her if someone else bought the ticket. Offer to pay her a little at a time until it’s covered.

Then start making an effort with her. I have a few friends I stopped bothering to contact because they never put in any effort and I realized from that they don’t care much if we see one another or not. One recently turned up acting like I was the one who’d disappeared. We sorted it out.

All of this!

And don't forget trying to make out the friend is in the wrong because she didn't remind her of the debt...

And also, I bet the OP wouldn't have forgotten about the gig if she had paid for her own ticket.

Sounds like an accumulation of stuff which is why she didn't remind you.

She asks you to go somewhere with her, you're already going with friends so decline rather than inviting her along. Can you see that from the other side?

Then you decline going for dinner and doesnt sound like you offered another date?

From her perspective you aren't really interested in her friendship. And this avoiding of going to the gig is just further evidence for her.

She's well rid I reckon

Honestly I don't for a second believe that someone who wasn't able to afford the ticket up front would then 'simply forget ' you owed her the money.

Are you going to pay her back op?

I think it's clear that your 'friend' thought you were capable of going to the event even though you're clearly weren't planning on paying you. I'll actually glad that she at least didn't have to out up with that.
Yes there is no coming back from that. I wonder op if your friendship was worth 200 quid.

I'm with other posters who have said this sounds like the straw that broke the camels back. Sounds like friend had already decided that OP was worth losing as a friend and chose not to put effort in. From friends point of view it was £200 well spent to bring the friendship to a defined end. It makes me wonder what else OP has done that she's probably oblivious to. I'd love to hear the friends side of the story

Why exactly are you posting here - the fault is yours. In this day and age £200 is an awful lot of money for some people - reality is you deemed it ok for her to shell out £400 and wonder why she isn't contacting you? Grow up and get a reality check. One can only hope she found a better friend to take your ticket instead. Sorry won't even cut it at this stage.

Rude & selfish .

YABVU you 100% should pay her the money you owe her.

No advice but this thread has done me a huge favour in reminding me I owe my friend money for some tickets she bough last month 🙈

You need to pay her the money you are owe her like you said you would. Even if that means paying something to her every month (or saving for the next few months and giving it as a lump sum).
you’re owe her that at least!

Off topic a bit but it is easier to remember money owed to you than money you owe. I wonder if it’s something in the brain.