To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

Exactly, OP needs to now go out of her way to go and pay back her ex friend, the onus is on her, not the friend, to do that.

OP, so just because your friendship is over, does it mean you won't pay her back? I will never understand people like you.

Hard to believe it’s not a reverse. You sound insufferable.

Exactly. I'm surprised people are blaming the friend for not chasing up money she was owed. This is OP's fault. The only thing the friend did wrong was to trust the wrong person.

I wouldn't expect to remind a grown adult to pay me back, no. £200 isn't a small sum.
You sound super shady btw.

Sounds like it was a weird friendship between two weird people.

You were happy to spend £200 to go to a gig, but forgot to pay the £200 and forgot about the gig (which for £200 you should have been very excited for).

Your friend is happy to sub you £200, but unable to bring up being owed the money and doesn't talk to you at all about the gig you should both be very excited for even when messaging you about other arrangements.

Did you and/or her have second thoughts about wanting to attend together and just decide to quietly forget the whole thing I wonder?

Wow, OP I'm sorry but you're unreal. She paid out £200 for you on the understanding you would pay her back - you then 'forgot'. She's obviously tried to contact you about it as she says in her text she 'gave up' after that. It is not on her to remind you to pay it, the onus is on you as the debtor to pay your debt. The fact that you didn't is now why a 15 year friendship is down the drain, that's on you, she's done nothing wrong. Pay her the £200, that's the right thing to do, even if you pay it in £20 increments until its paid and then leave her be to get on with her life with friends who don't conveniently forget they owe them money when they've been good enough to front it for you. Shocking.

Whilst I find the whole arrangement difficult to understand, I agree that unless your friend managed to re-sell your ticket, you owe her the money and should pay up as soon as you can.

You must pay her back OP. Even if just 50 a month for 4 months.

Honestly I think its strange she didn't message you.

I would have just text my friend asking if they still wanted to go to 'gig'? Would take less than a minute to sort out.

But also how could you just forget?

And...was it Girls Aloud?

Bet you didn’t forget . I had a “ friend “ like you once , always conveniently forgot to pay for her share of airfares / hotels .

Doesn't sound like either of you have lost out on a great friendship. She has unfortunately lost £200. Do you think you've won?

Surely you paid her back when she bought the ticket. Yabu. She a friend not your mother.. give back her money

If ex friend reading this could take you to small claims to get her 200 back

You sound like an awful friend.

and you need to pay her the money.

shes not your mum or your pa. Set reminders yourself.

I'd have reminded you OP, however some people don't like asking for money, even if it's for tickets.

She didn't remind you, you forgot and didn't pay, so now she is hugely pissed off with you, enough to end the friendship.

Assuming she didn't sell the ticket to someone else the only way to salvage the friendship is to pay her the £200 now.

if she did sell it to someone else, grovelling apologies is the way to go.

I'm going to go against the grain here.

On the face of it I think it is very weird that she didn't remind you.

She'd paid for, and was in possession of, two tickets.

There were three outcomes.

1. She goes alone and one ticket is wasted.
2. She goes with someone else.
3. She goes with you.

If she'd sent you a message saying, "Hi @abrabhf, hope you haven't forgotten about the gig in June. You are still coming, right? Can you transfer me the money?" either you would have transferred her the money and you'd have gone together as planned, or you wouldn't have transferred her the money for whatever reason and she'd have had to make the decision to either go alone or go with someone else.

But by not reminding you, she ensured that it was the latter.

It's annoying when people are flaky and forget longstanding plans. It's annoying when people are supposed to pay you back for something and they forget. But not reminding someone of something quite important if you think they might have forgotten is just weird.

It sounds like there's more going on here than meets the eye because this isn't a normal friendship dynamic.

I'm guessing the OP has previous form for 'forgetting' to pay for things, and it's entirely possible her friend was testing her on this occasion, giving her a last chance to do the right thing of her own accord.

The OP failed the test, so the friend dropped her. Fair enough.

Unlikely to win as she didn't try and mitigate her losses at all.

She could have reminded op
She could then have sold the ticket onwards (maybe at a loss) or chosen to give to a friend

If actually she could have resold it for full value (or more) but chose not to bother trying to sell it or chasing the op, she won't have a claim.

I mean you're probably right, but who spends £200 on a gig ticket for a flaky friend?

It does sound like you have lost your friend because you have not paid the £200 back maybe she doesn't have that sort of money to lose.

I get the impression that the friend is feeling that OP isn't that interested in the friendship anymore. Not paying, the lack of contact and the declining an invite without arranging an alternative probably gave that impression. The friend didn't remind OP as a sort of test to see if OP is even that bothered in the friendship anymore.

The friendship is probably dead now, but if you want any hope of keeping it, refund the money, apologise and put more effort in.

So you turned her down twice and now you're offended because she didn't chase you a third time? I think the ball was in your court. She said she waited to see if you'd do the right thing/make contact, and you didn't.

Yep! I'd bet my life on it that this is not the first time OP has "forgot" to repay this friend (& others).

So she's lost £200 because you are "forgetful". Sounds real fair OP 🙄

you are a horrible 'friend' & should absolutely be giving her the £200 back. I guarantee if you had already paid for the ticket when you said you would then you would have not forgotten about the gig