To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

I suspect the OP has left the thread, but no matter what, she still needs to pay back the £200.

wow what a terrible friend you are

She messaged me maybe February asking if I’d like to go to a local event in the summer and I told her I was already going with different friends.

I messaged her weeks later to say I missed her and she invited me over for dinner on a night I couldn’t do. And that’s the end of all contact we’ve had this year apart from yesterday.

I think this is all a bit weird. Yes, op should have paid on the next payday. But with my friends we also tend to remind each other if we dont get the money. "Hey, you haven't paid your share yet. It was £150". Instead of stewing, going to the event alone and cutting friendships.

If you can’t afford £200 why did you agree to go in the first place. You are YBVU to leave your friend £200 out of pocket because you “forgot”

So, she's tried to meet up with you twice and both times you've bailed, and in the meantime haven't even mentioned that you'll get the money to her?
Yes, totally looks like you're trying to avoid her or just hope she won't mind and will somehow "forget" herself about it.

I agree! Me and my friends wouldn't do this! We'd remind each other. My very best friend is a nightmare for forgetting to pay... She's not taking the piss or a 'parasite' or a 'thief'. She genuinely forgets and we remind her.
This thread has some very very ugly language!

Not necessarily. If she resold it it would have been through the ticket site and to a stranger.

OP definitely needs to clarify with her friend.

And if you can't afford £200 @abrabhf don't agree to go to an event that costs £200.

So, after your friend bought tickets, you never actually arranged to attend the gig together? And your friend never asked if you were still planning on going or whether she should try to re-sell your ticket?

To be fair, the friend has tried to meet up a couple of times, both times she can't make it and no mention of rearranging for another night

So you had the intention of saving up and paying before the gig but it just slipped your mind month after month until now? No date in diary for event? No reminders set? Are you usually this unorganised? You need to start saving, pay her the money and work on your organisational and social / friendship skills because they're both clearly lacking.

This has got to be a reverse.

If she messaged asking to go somewhere with you and you said you're already going with different friends, maybe that was enough for her to think fuck you considering maybe she could have come along too...

Have you sent her a message apologising and offering a payment plan?
It's not her fault you forgot, and she's laid out the money for you, you owe it to her.

Presumably your friends pay when reminded/they remember.

OP now remembers she owes the £200. She’s just not paying it.

Oh OP! I don't want to add to the pile on but you can't run frienships like this.

On the local event, did that mean she had no one to go with? Could you not have invited her to join you and your friends?

On her dinner invite, did you not suggest having her over on a different date?

It's not enough to drop someone a random messaging saying you miss them. You need to make an effort to meet them.

So she twice invites you to things and you tell her you can't go and make no effort to sort out an alternative.
The onus is now on you to make contact with her. And not just to say that you miss her but make no effort to actually meet up with her.

Nah you well and truly ditched her!

You asked for a ticket said you'd pay on pay day. didn't pay on payday, then declined 2 invites to meet with her including one decline where you said you were going with other people instead when you could have just invited her to tag along with your group and then never mentioned the gig/money ever again. Definitely you doing the ditching here.

she also shouldn't have to be the one to remind YOU that you OWE her £200. Poor woman

This is why i don't lend money anymore or things because i cant be bothered with constantly reminding people to pay back what they owe.

Sounds like there's alot more to it than you're letting on. She paid for tickets which you never paid her back for, that is your responsibility! You must of known when the gig was. She isn't going to blank you as she'd of wanted her money back, she then asks you to another event to which you were like "soz I'm off with other friends" Did you ask her along to that, 15 years of friendship and sound like you've not been a very good friend lately.

It was down to you to pay that money, youre a grown person. If you couldnt afford it then dont ask her to pay out and then dont bother. sounds like you ghosted her till after the gig so you could lay blame at her door. Tbh she needs better friends and you need to be a grown up, pay that money back, even if it's 20quid a month and be a better person.

You still owe her £200 though!

It wouldn't get to that point. BEFORE the gig there would be a reminder, and if say I couldn't go, we'd try to sell the additional ticket and if between us we couldn't; I'd pay up. But this would be before the event.
My main objection to this thread is not the ins and outs of what happened etc... people have different opinions of course. My main objection is the language used in some of the comments.

OP has killed this friendship over money owed.
She avoided seeing her friend as she always knew she owed £200.
She snooped to see if the friend took someone to the gig, so she could blame the friend.
Said no to dinner as it would have meant paying for the gig..
And to top it all comes on mumsnet to get us all to agree not her fault....

I voted YABU because you should have paid her as soon as you could on payday. It's quite odd that you would let her get you something so expensive - it's as if you never really wanted to pay for it and were hoping she would either forget about it and inadvertently pay for it all or that she would remember and decide to not charge you for it - hence, a treat. In either case, it sounds like you felt entitled to her money. Do you see other people as cash cows who are put on this earth to support you?

So you haven't offered to pay her back in installments, @abrabhf?

You owe her £200, and regardless of how you regard the friendship now, only a real cheeky fucker would leave their former friend £200 out of pocket, during a cost of living crisis!!