To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

If you can't afford to send her the money then you had no intention of going did you?!
Also if you invested £200 of money you can't afford then you would absolutely not forget that gig ... not a chance.
IMO you owe her money. If she found someone else to go then good for her, but you're a platinum CF for being so entitled to spend other peoples money, expect them to remind you, not go and squinny about it

Did you turn down the dinner invitation because you knew she'd be expecting you to bring the £200?

Friendship over? Good for her. Based on what you've said and reading between the lines, she has simply had enough of you thinking the world revolves around you.

Our view: Can't pay? Not your problem. She paid for tickets. Her fault she didn't sell it on or chase you.

Her view: we talked about going, decided to buy tickets, you've declined her offer to meet up, you've not been an adult and made an effort to remind yourself to pay, you don't seem to give anything, only take. You don't realise that she bever would have even bought her own £200 ticket if she didn't think you were going so she has spent £400 on doing something that she wouldn't have done if you hadn't made a commitment. Probably isn't the first time you've shrugged your shoulders.

Very selfish OP. I would suggest you work on yourself. I can't see how you could even hold down a job, never mind a friendship or relationship. Very sad for you too but doubt you will accept responsibility to change your behaviour.

You owe her £200, end of. Doubt your poor friend will ever see a penny of it though.

It’s a bit weird that she didn’t say “Hey! That gig is coming up soon - if I send you over your ticket can you transfer me the £200? Really looking forward to it!”

It’s obviously a bit rubbish that you didn’t pay her as soon as you were able (I would have set a reminder on my phone for payday) but if you genuinely forgot there’s not much you can do. Life gets busy, you didn’t do it on purpose. She clearly didn’t forget about the gig though so a bit weird that she never said anything at all.

If I were you I would send her a grovelly email saying how sorry you are that you forgot, and that you’ll transfer the money ASAP. Do ask her if she got someone else To go though… if she did and they paid her then I guess it’s all good. Either way I’d make sure you book a dinner or something in the diary to make sure you’re ok and still friends. It could all get a bit awkward otherwise and you don’t want to drift apart because of some silly gig.

There's no way you just genuinely forget to send someone £200 by the way...

So your friend bought the tickets, but then what happened? Did you make arrangements to go together or meet up there? Or did neither of you mention it again?

You wouldn't have forgotten if it was the other way around and she owed you, would you?

No, people like you only 'forget' when it's someone else's money at stake.

Just read this.

You absolutely have to send her the money. Sell something if you have to, or transfer it in monthly installments. This isn’t really negotiable. “I can’t afford to” is not an excuse at this point.

If you could not afford to send her 200 for the ticket, you should have told her promptly, so she could reclaim the money back. That's called: doing the right thing!

Also, forgetting that you owe your friend 200 smackers is codswallop!

Do people like you really live among us?!

YOU can't afford to send her the £200 you owe her, @abrabhf, but you have no qualms about leaving her £200 out of pocket?

You are unreasonable on several counts - forgetting to send her the money in the first place, not making a note on your phone calendar about a £200 gig, and now, apparently, deciding that you aren't going to repay your friend!

If you can't repay the money in one lump, you should set up a payment plan, by standing order or direct debit (so you can't conveniently forget again) to pay her on a monthly basis until your debt is paid.

You should be contacting her immediately to apologise again, and to offer to repay her, as soon as you can - monthly, if necessary. I hope your next post on here is to say just that.

She shouldn't have to chase you, and 200 quid is a lot to just "forget" about.
I love going to concerts and theatre etc, and if I paid that much it would have to be a show I really wanted to go see! So in other words wouldn't be one I'd forget about easily.
She probably thought you weren't bothered anymore.
Oh and you owe her 200 quid. I'd be pretty pissed off if I'd forked out that much for a friend's ticket and they didn't pay up.
which is why I don't buy other people's tickets apart from my own

Oh, and you've 'barely spoken since the purchase' because SHE WAS WAITING FOR HER MONEY! 😅

"I’ve messaged her now. Apparently she went on her own, she didn’t remind me as she thought I’d do the right thing and then gave up."

The fact she mentions that she "gave up" suggests she had made more than one attempt to contact you and realised you were never going to pay her back.

I find it funny you think she ghosted you, when it seems you were the one avoiding contact with her.

That was my thought too - that the friend would have asked and reminded about the concert then at the dinner, but the OP bailed so friend thought "fuck her then" and went by herself.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius: Well said!

Don't you think you should set up a direct debit to her? Even £15 a month? Why should she lose the money

It was not up to her to remind you, you’re a grown adult. You should have sent the money and you should still send it now. She’s out of pocket through not fault of her own.

It doesn’t matter if you can afford it or not, you owe her £200! Go without for a bit and be a decent person.

If it was Taylor Swift, which was a sold out show then I'd say she resold the ticket. Got her £200 back and decided you had shown her exactly what sort of friend you are and decided to "give up".

You should however check with her that she was able to sell the ticket. At least that way you won't owe her the £200 but will have to accept you've lost a good friend.

@TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre

If it was Taylor Swift, which was a sold out show then I'd say she resold the ticket

OP said she went by herself so she still owes her £200.

You can't afford £200? Maybe she's struggling too after forking out £400 because of your selfishness.