To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

If this isn't a reverse, it's one of the worst things I've come across on here.

Pay your friend back, even if you do it at £20 a month or whatever. You'll have to cut back on something else. You've effectively got £200 that belongs to her.

Also sort yourself out. I don't believe for one second you forgot about the gig. You realised your couldn't afford it and dealt with it by ignoring her.

You've treated your friend really badly. Unless there is some backstory where she somehow owes you £200 for something else, you've been totally unreasonable and a terrible friend. You're right that a fifteen year friendship is over - but don't even think of blaming her.

There’s more to it than that but I’m not going to post the entire message. 15 year friendship seems very much over. I can’t afford to send her £200

So why bother posting at all ? If you’re not prepared to give the full facts then how are people meant to give meaningful responses ? You sound controlling and if that’s a factor here, then it puts a different perspective on things.

Well there you go. You threw away a friendship over “forgetting” you owed someone £200.

Your friend paid £200 to find out she had a shitty friend.

Do the right thing and pay up even if at £10 a month. But you are a terrible friend.

YABU op, you are still due your friend the money so you must find a way to pay her back, set up a monthly standing order to her so you can't blame forgetting again.

This has to be a reverse because surely someone who does this type of thing doesn't need MN to tell them they are pondlife - they already know.

Why didn't you put it in your diary and did she know you couldn't afford it.

I can’t believe you would think it acceptable to not pay her what you owe. You are the one who forgot to pay. She loaned you the money. She went to the gig alone because you forgot. And now you’re saying SHE is in the wrong and you’re not going to pay her..?! WTF???? What a shitty friend you are.

You have behaved shockingly OP, I can’t believe you’re still not planning to pay her!

This is entirely on you. You need to pay her back by any means possible, even if it means paying in instalments.

I’m speechless that you think you can pass the blame for this onto her in any way.

You're a man, aren't you?

Well I wouldn't be rushing to pay her £200 whether I could afford it or not, because the friend's actions/inaction makes no sense.

• If you're £200 down, you chase up with the friend who owes the money or you find someone else to go with. Regardless of whether you're 'testing' the friend to do the right thing, if friend fails the test, it's you that suffers the consequences. So mitigate them.
• If you're friends, you know that non-payer either has form for this, or it's out of character. If it's the former, you have a Plan B ready to sell the other ticket. If it's the latter, you chase friend up because it's out of character!

I suspect she sold the ticket but didn't tell you. That's why she kept quiet right up until the gig - just in case you suddenly paid up when she mentioned it, and she didn't have the ticket anymore. Now she's trying to make you feel guilty but if you 'pay her back', then she's doubled up on the cash.

I also suspect you have form for being shit with remembering stuff, including money you owe, and she's fed up. This is the perfect opportunity to ditch you as a friend, and she's set it up this way that it's 100% your fault (and really, it is, but she helped the situation along too).

Doesn't sound like it was that important to you of you only remembered the date afterwards. You could have sent the money regardless. Hopefully she resold the second ticket or you still owe her.

I understand your point about her not reminding you. It would have been nice of her.

However, you still owe her £200.

I'd like some of what @Frogpole is on - at least once in my life just for the experience 😅

You know there’s this thing called a calendar that you can write important dates in, you know so
you don’t forget them! Most phones also have a reminder app that you can put things like needing to pay for tickets in so you don’t forget to pay for them. Your friend is not your PA or your mother, it is not her job to remind you.

Pay her the money back, you never know you might even be able to salvage your friendship if you do.

Sounds like she went with someone else. I’d just move on.

you could have paid for the ticket and she’d still have ignored you.

It might be tricky finding another friend with a spare £200 for a concert they hadn't initially intended on going to.

I can't see how your friend has done anything wrong here. She subbed you, so it was on you to remember to repay her. I think it was actually very polite and kind of her not to chase and leave the ball in your court. She probably thought when you didn't get in touch you couldn't afford it. Poor woman has now paid £400 to go to a gig on her own because she was kind and considerate to you. Her only 'crime' here was to be too polite snd unassertive for her own good.
If this friendship is over, you're the loser here. So in your shoes I'd be contacting her and offering to pay for the wasted ticket she bought on your behalf.

I don’t get why she didn’t ask you whether you still wanted the ticket? Unless you have form for this kind of thing and she couldn’t be arsed to keep chasing you. When you said you couldn’t make dinner did you not suggest another date?

Sounds like you regretted saying yes so you conveniently forgot to avoid paying the money - leaving your friend out of pocket.

You both sound really bloody odd. £200 for tickets, one forgetting about it and one refusing to mention it to the other out of some weird principle. Who does that?

Sometimes there are threads where someone doesn’t know why one or more friends has ghosted them and ‘why they don’t have any friends anymore’. Pretty clear in this case. Sounded like the dinner invite was the last chance. Did you just say no, or suggest something else? Also another person who can no way understand planning an expensive event and then completely forgetting about it.

Were you incredibly busy or something to make you forget something so important? That is usually my excuse.

You don't deserve your friend. Glad she ghosted you. I'd have definitely treated a friend who pays £200 for my ticket better.

i don't think she should have to remind you but then I wonder if she's lost out if she's gone alone so it might have been better for her to remind you

but also wondering why you didn't know when the gig was

Absolutely shitty behaviour on your part op and you need to grow up. I wouldn’t be friends with you either in this scenario. You absolutely need to pay her £200.

So you agreed to a purchase/loan of £200. The ticket was bought. Now you have recalled the debt you have now decided you can’t afford it. You have also decided not to make any effort to have the other person repaid. Is that correct?

Memory lapses happen, it’s how we respond to them which shows our character.

I wish your ex-friend well as you have shown her no respect and given her good reason not to trust you.