To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

Of course you give your 7 year old guest food if she asks for it and cake if you’re all having some. Her mother is strange and rude. YADNBU!

Does OP run around offering random people free childcare just so she can feed their DC cake? I doubt it so I think maybe in future when someone needs her to do them the favour of looking after their child for free she can just say no.

Also sometimes children are not just like cats or some other animal that eats until it’s not hungry. Maybe the little girl enjoyed the social and celebratory side of eating at OP’s. That aspect of eating has been a feature of most cultures in most periods of history and it’s very human. As it sounds like eating might be more of a fraught, calorie-counting, austere affair at home, perhaps she indulged a little more because the warm, social side of it appealed to her. That actually isn’t a problem every so often: it’s nice. There’s no point roaming the earth looking a certain way or until some ancient target age that drives the stick thin obsession if you have no fun. I once went on a date with a body conscious guy who was such a pita through the meal. The killer line was when I asked him if he ever lets up on his food schedule ( which had dominated the discussion). He said with a twinkle in his eye that if he’s feeling “ really naughty” he sometimes has a low fat lemon yoghurt 🍋 😳

Oh dear, no one has to force anything down. If that's what you want to teach then that's up to you I guess but I wouldn't.

Or the 7 year old just fancied the other food. Heaps of people, including children, keep eating when they are no longer hungry.

The lunch may well not have been enough but it was healthy and balanced with protein, fat and carbs. It could have been much worse, like a jam sandwich, quavers, and a sugary fat free yoghurt. I'd bet the mum wouldn't have minded if the child was only offered more healthy food, not the most upf cake imaginable.

The OP offered. The friend didn't ask.

I just don't think offers of childcare should be given with the condition that you can do whatever you want with the child. Which people here are saying.

Well seems to be what you're implying. If you shouldn't eat cake when hungry, when should you eat it?

Categorically not what anyone is saying. Do you have children?

Haha a lemon yogurt !! So naughty!!😂

Oh for goodness sake. Cake is not “anything you want.” You say that like she dangled them off a cliff.

Picky??

2 lunches, 2 slices of large cake and popcorn is most definitely NOT 'leaving a child hungry' if anything I would say that was overfeeding to excess. OP didn't even say that she asked for a second slice of cake, it says she enjoyed it so much she gave her another..

For all we know the girl may have felt rude refusing the plate of food OP gave her after asking if 'she could try some' so she ate all that, then felt she had to eat all the cake given to her (or wanted to eat all of that!), but couldn't quite manage to finish the second slice.

You shouldn't have to tell someone looking after your child to NOT to give them more food in one sitting then an adult would struggle to consume, blaming the mother for OP deciding to overfeed her seems a bit of a stretch to me.

Never mind 😂wrong post

Do not babysit for this awful woman again.
i will be honest, two slices of cake is unnecessary but she could have worded her complaint a bit nicer - you did her a favour !

I didn't ask you if you had children it was another poster.

Cake is defo a solution to hunger imo

Have you read the thread? Plenty of people have told the OP to tell the mother to find someone else to look after her child in the future if she's not happy with the OP feeding her child.

He was the world’s biggest bore. When all you talk about is exercise and food and the most exciting the food ever gets is low fat lemon yoghurt you’re kind of bottom
of the barrel material on the good company front. But that was twenty odd years ago. If he’s still dating, he’s probably in his element these days 🙄I’m half expecting a few posters here to ask me to dig out his number …

Yes picky. And the child was hungry after she finished what her mum sent her with.

Yes, sorry! And I agree 🤣

Erm... yes? I agree with them? Because the mum is ungrateful and rude, not because op did anything wrong.

Anyone else feeling like cake now?

Yes. Maybe even 2 slices

You realise cake isn't actually a food group? There's no 'should' about it, it's not obligatory. If you want to enjoy cake go right ahead, it's delicious - but certainly not necessary.

Ridiculous!!! 😱

Yep. I'd be inclined to think and do this.

If this child was on a specific diet for whatever reason (eg intolerances, allergies) I'm sure your mother would have told you. She should have explained to you that she'd prefer you not to offer anything more than you'd did (except, maybe, water) and/or been rather more polite than she was - especially as you were doing her a favour. 🌹

haha yes it does sound incredibly boring!! Lifes too short not to eat cake !