To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

If you're going to be picky I feel you specifically need to give instructions in advance surely? Not just get upset after the fact. I would keep to someone's requests if they specifically asked me (even if I didn't agree!) But I'd struggle with leaving a child hungry.

Grapes are a good source of carbs, as are all sweet fruits.

They're not really very filling though are they? You'd be hungrier after eating a handful of grapes than you would some pasta or a sandwich?

I would have thought the mother providing lunch for her child wouldn't need further instructions of "don't give her a second lunch".

A serve of chicken breast is definitely filling as it is high protein, it would have some fat too assuming it is pan fried or roasted.

I don't think so tbh, especially when she was still hungry. I would want specific "do not feed her" instructions. Most people would feed a hungry child.

"In future"??? I don't think do.🙄
Rude, very rude.
Don't acknowledge it.

I had similar with my son.
He brought a friend home who refused ham, cheese, cucumber, tomato etc., in sandwiches and asked for Nutella, so I gave it to him.
He told his mother and she reacted like it was crack. 🙄
I replied "well he wouldn't eat what mine were eating" and ushered them out the door.
Never again.
No interest in people that are rude.

This is so bloody rude of your friend. You showed kindness and hospitality to her little girl who obviously felt comfortable enough with you to ask for more food etc. I find the wording of her text very concerning, particularly using a word like ‘gorging’ when referring to a child. Does the mother have an ED? I’d be really pissed off with how she has dealt with this tbh.

Summary of this post.

She was probably just mortified that you’d uncovered that he lives on Nutella.

Maybe don't offer people free childcare then if you need to be specifically told not to feed a child a second lunch followed by cake until they can't eat any more.

Lol, OK. You better inform the majority of the population then because I don't know anyone who wouldn't feed a hungry guest!

Probably asked for nutella cos he’s never allowed to eat it normally .

Maybe the OP needs to increase her portions too seeing as the child still wasn't full after the second lunch, nor after the first slice of cake.

Or maybe the child was just eating for the sake of eating.

We'll never know will we? Maybe she was. But even if she was, it was once. Literally no harm done.

There’s always a poster who suddenly replies from the dark side of the moon. 👽

Wow that’s weird from the mum. Personally she wouldn’t have gotten a second helping of cake as we have pudding limit. One piece of cake, or a couple of biscuits. Otherwise they post letters. Judging by what was in her packed lunch I can see why she was still hungry. I suspect her mum has issues around food and not the child. More likely mum restricting so she doesn’t become the overweight child. But to be honest when my kids go to other people’s house they eat what’s offered and will eat more if offered and I just accept that. My DD had a sleepover party at the weekend and after they had eaten and got ready for bed the parent laid out another table of food for a midnight feast. They were still up and ate it. Fair enough. It’s a party and not an every day thing. I’m not going to complain. If they slept at mine then I might not be offering the same level of sweet treats after already having loads bits that’s my choice too.

Obviously not seeing as the 7 year old child was still hungry. My 7 year olds wouldn’t have eaten another meal and cake unless they were.

… because it hadn’t eaten properly since it was last farmed out to childcare.

Would have become more than once if the mother didn't say something.

Oh and some kids do eat for the sake of it. My DD does. She had tea at her Gals at the weekend and ate what way more than she usually does at home. When I asked if she was hungry she said not really, it was just there so I ate it.

Indeed. Now the mum will have to find some other free childcare, or pay for it.

I sympathise I had this experience with one of my dd's friends. I literally thought how can someone be so angry at being kind to their child?

Her mother still ignores me in the street 2 years on. I never thought our friendship would end over a snack, but it seems food triggers a lot of emotions for people.

It? Or maybe SHE gets a big dinner in the evening.

As no allergies mentioned most of us Mums would be grateful you shared new food with her. Xx