To not want to live in deceased MIL's house?

[DesTeeny]

Very long story short, but MIL was very unpleasant to me whilst alive (she has recently died, and FIL died many years ago). We are very fortunate that MIL has left us her house, and DH wants to move in.

I really don't want to, I have nothing but upsetting memories there, especially of MIL being very threatening towards me, but DH is saying it's his family home and he doesn't want to sell it, he wants to live there and will not be swayed. He lived there from age 5-25, when he moved into our current home.

We'd 'gain' nothing by moving there, it's almost exactly the same as our current home (which is too small for us) and is less than 500 yards away from our house. Granted there is a downstairs toilet, but we'd lose a driveway and have to park on the (very busy) road.

AIBU to stand my ground a bit and ask that we buy a house together that is our family home, rather than moving into his mother's (we will have enough money to buy a much larger house, and still put money aside for our children)? I moved into his home before this (gave him some money to make it equal), and have never chosen my own home. I'd like us to find a family home together that is better suited to our needs rather than trying to shoehorn our family into a house which is no bigger, no better, than the one we have currently.

YABU - Let him live in his family home
YANBU - You deserve to find your own family's home

But that was bought/paid for before the marriage, you came into the relationship on different footings.

In my divorce an inheritance acquired while married was considered part of the marital assets.

Although clearly if you have a brilliant lawyer, then they can argue whatever you tell them to...

Just glad to see 98% of people voted good! And I hope it going well.

i think creating a family home - your little family - is going to be wonderful.

Good luck.

"Fine but you need to agree that we gut the place and spend money on an extension and revamp the front garden so we have parking and put in a petting zoo with a flock of unicorns in the back garden along with a big pond for the mermaids."

If an inheritance is used to buy a shared asset like a home, or used to improve a shared asset like a home, THEN it becomes a marital asset.
But if it remains in the recipient holders own bank account, or in their sole name, it remains solely their asset.

My friend was gifted a gorgeous house by the sea, plus several hundred k, and her husbands two sisters whom have never been particularly friendly towards her assumed it was now his too and they could "borrow" it during Covid.
Her husband is very nice but he was firmly told not happening under any circumstances "close friends of HERs only would be invited". Her husband and she have separate well paid jobs, separate finances which has worked well for them. This inheritance will remain hers alone.

I’d suggest keeping it and renting it out and selling your current house to buy something you can both choose with parking

@Theonlyone1234 Yes, that’s another possibility if her DH is willing to take on the responsibility of being a landlord.

If he does decide to do this, stay well out of it, OP. It’s not your property.

Can you sell your current home, rent the MIL house and use the rental income to supplement a bigger mortgage on a new home?
that way your husband never ‘loses’ the family home but it still helps you move into a bigger home

Hope you don't inherit a stately pile and then get divorced as you'll see this is not true.