Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think some of the things said on here, very few people actually think/do in real life?

142 replies

Revolvingidea · 18/06/2024 15:16

Some of my favourites

• The classic ‘toilet brushes are disgusting’. Observationally everyone I know has a toilet brush. I’ve been checking when I remember at friends and family’s houses and so on since the last time I saw the post

•Money is a poor reason not to consider a second child. Just don’t be so shallow and never go on holiday, the kids can have bunk beds in one room well into their teens!

•Expecting favours from your family, particularly your parents or in-laws, is wrong and selfish. (Feel like this one is usually people who are bitter that they don’t have a close relationship with their relatives or live too far away for it to be possible!)

•Don’t be so naïve- of course you can’t work from home ever at any point with your child around you unless the child is of high school age

I’m sure there’s more that I’ve missed. It just baffles me how people say these things yet in real life I know of many people who would do the exact opposite of the advice or sentiments on here.

OP posts:
GracieLee · 18/06/2024 15:33

The ones who come on here all entitled and fuming that their parents decided to take a holiday when they needed childcare etc, they are the cheeky and selfish ones.

The people who work from home with babies and todlers but keep if from their bosses are also selfish.

Revolvingidea · 18/06/2024 15:40

GracieLee · 18/06/2024 15:33

The ones who come on here all entitled and fuming that their parents decided to take a holiday when they needed childcare etc, they are the cheeky and selfish ones.

The people who work from home with babies and todlers but keep if from their bosses are also selfish.

There was a post a few weeks ago where the OPs nursery aged DC and had broken her leg. Despite retired in laws who already had the DC another day a week, they wouldn’t help out for one day one time. IMO if parents live nearby and you’re close they should offer to help once a week when not on holiday, obviously. It’s what family does.

OP posts:
JacquesHarlow · 18/06/2024 15:42

There are plenty of people here who deliberately say the contrary to wind up a distressed or concerned OP.

PToosher · 18/06/2024 15:42

"Kick him out, that's what I'd do."
Would you really? And how does that work? How does one 'kick out' someone that owns the house?

ASighMadeOfStone · 18/06/2024 15:44

I love the "and so I said....and everyone clapped and cheered".

Spoiler alert: they didn't.

Revolvingidea · 18/06/2024 15:45

PToosher · 18/06/2024 15:42

"Kick him out, that's what I'd do."
Would you really? And how does that work? How does one 'kick out' someone that owns the house?

Exactly

OP posts:
Revolvingidea · 18/06/2024 15:45

ASighMadeOfStone · 18/06/2024 15:44

I love the "and so I said....and everyone clapped and cheered".

Spoiler alert: they didn't.

Reminds me of that mum from Motherland. Why can’t I remember her name. You know the one

OP posts:
CassandraWebb · 18/06/2024 15:45

Our flexible working rules expressly state that we can only work from home with a primary age child in exceptional circumstances (eg if they are ill) and that we are not allowed to work from home and look after a child under school age. I imagine most employers have similar contracts and I am aware of my employer taking disciplinary action against people breaching the rules (and we are a soft and cuddly employer compared to many)

theeyeofdoe · 18/06/2024 15:46

GracieLee · 18/06/2024 15:33

The ones who come on here all entitled and fuming that their parents decided to take a holiday when they needed childcare etc, they are the cheeky and selfish ones.

The people who work from home with babies and todlers but keep if from their bosses are also selfish.

Do you honesty know people who try and work from home and also have a child to look after? It's a bad idea, rather than selfish as you're hardly going to be a good employee, parent properly and you will get sacked if anyone finds out.

Catza · 18/06/2024 15:49

I have definitely never seen a house without a toilet brush. But children are fine in the same room. That's how most of us grew up. I have friends whose kids of opposite sexes shared a room (because they wanted to, I must add) until the eldest moved out at 19. They were not short on money, though... so it wasn't because of that.
And yes, I work from home in school holidays but my kid is capable of looking after herself and, honestly, half the time I forget she is even in the house.

CharlotteRumpling · 18/06/2024 15:50

I am bemused by the women who are scared to go anywhere alone because of what the waiter or barman or other families think of them. Never eat in a cafe alone, never travel alone, never go to the cinema alone.

GerbilsForever24 · 18/06/2024 15:51

Mmm, I agree with your sentiment (all the people who refuse to ever open the front door on MN) but not sure about your examples.

eg people working from home with small children - I am a consultant and i speak with a LOT of clients and I can tell you that in real life, this is a hot topic of internal gossip and debate. NOTHING riles up a team more than when they suspect a colleague is routinely having their child at home while "working" (most are sympathetic to emergency situations. Just not when it's always).

Family and friends and favours - I think this may be more nuanced than you see on MN but in real life, I know lots of people who have family who they would love to help them more but who accept that these people don't want to. I also know that even when asking would be totally okay, people find it difficult - a friend recently had to take one child to A&E in the middle of the night and was too embarrassed to call anyone to help her. I assured her that I would not have minded in the least.

I don't have toilet brushes! Grin.

Money - I know people who have gone ahead and had children kowing financially it was going to be tough and others who have chosen not to have more because of financial reasons. I think it's a pretty even spread in real life.

GracieLee · 18/06/2024 15:52

theeyeofdoe · 18/06/2024 15:46

Do you honesty know people who try and work from home and also have a child to look after? It's a bad idea, rather than selfish as you're hardly going to be a good employee, parent properly and you will get sacked if anyone finds out.

I didnt say I know people who do that. But I see loads of posts on here of people who say that have a 9 month old or a toddler and trying to make it work etc etc. It's stupid, selfish to the child and selfish to the employer who didn't give you and your 9 month old the job, the job was just for the adult.

Devilsmommy · 18/06/2024 15:52

JacquesHarlow · 18/06/2024 15:42

There are plenty of people here who deliberately say the contrary to wind up a distressed or concerned OP.

This definitely. Especially if the OP is majorly upset

WhatNoRaisins · 18/06/2024 15:55

A lot of stuff is said purely to pick a fight or kick an OP rather than because it's what the poster actually does or thinks. You've got to take everything with a grain of salt.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 18/06/2024 15:56

JacquesHarlow · 18/06/2024 15:42

There are plenty of people here who deliberately say the contrary to wind up a distressed or concerned OP.

I agree, I think they are probably people who wouldn't dare speak out in real life but get a kick out of doing this anonymously. I think the people who post about a situation without revealing which party they are initially are very wise.

Revolvingidea · 18/06/2024 15:57

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 18/06/2024 15:56

I agree, I think they are probably people who wouldn't dare speak out in real life but get a kick out of doing this anonymously. I think the people who post about a situation without revealing which party they are initially are very wise.

You get people guessing then though or being rude because you’ve not identified which party you are

OP posts:
RedYellowPinkGreenPurpleOrangeBlue · 18/06/2024 15:58

I do think a lot of the super-frothy, 'far left wing' views on here are views that no-one in real life actually thinks. No-one I know thinks like that in real life. On the internet, Twitter, Facebook, message forums yeah, but not in real life.

JacquesHarlow · 18/06/2024 16:01

@GerbilsForever24

You said:

"eg people working from home with small children - I am a consultant and i speak with a LOT of clients and I can tell you that in real life, this is a hot topic of internal gossip and debate. NOTHING riles up a team more than when they suspect a colleague is routinely having their child at home while "working" (most are sympathetic to emergency situations. Just not when it's always)."

I agree with this partially. I think people who get riled up by this on principle, as in "they're getting an advantage that I haven't got"... are just wrong and should focus on something else.

But my goodness, I've seen certain colleagues in other teams, who refuse to ever come on camera, who can't make meetings at all during an entire afternoon, or who are continuously on mute and never contribute to a meeting because of childcare while working.

Ugh! I am a woman, a mother, I support mothers, but FGS, don't take liberties and actually distort the concept of working.

piningforautumn · 18/06/2024 16:01

I think money should definitely be a consideration when deciding whether to have children (or more children), and people shouldn't deliberately create children they know they can't afford to feed, clothe, and care for, but sharing a room isn't the end of the world.

Some people on here knowingly spout nonsense, but there's also a fairly broad range of opinions and experiences.

NeedToChangeName · 18/06/2024 16:02

Lots of keyboard warriors on MN encouraging others to be unnecessarily aggressive / hostile to people

Also, many who refuse to answer the door

And, many people who struggle to make / keep friendships. Go figure

NeedToChangeName · 18/06/2024 16:03

But my goodness, I've seen certain colleagues in other teams, who refuse to ever come on camera, who can't make meetings at all during an entire afternoon, or who are continuously on mute and never contribute to a meeting because of childcare while working

@JacquesHarlow not having a pop at you, but this really annoys me. Employers should be dealing with this, not letting it go

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 18/06/2024 16:04

theeyeofdoe · 18/06/2024 15:46

Do you honesty know people who try and work from home and also have a child to look after? It's a bad idea, rather than selfish as you're hardly going to be a good employee, parent properly and you will get sacked if anyone finds out.

Yes. Me I did it for over a year.
I hated my job and knew I wanted to leave after she started school
I was also good enough at my job to do what they needed and no more.

KreedKafer · 18/06/2024 16:04

Nothing you’ve listed feels like the kind of thing ‘nobody’ thinks or does. They’re just things you don’t personally agree with.

Also, who the hell inspects everyone’s bathrooms for a bog brush every time they go for a wee at a friend’s house? Who is even interested in how anyone else cleans their toilet?

Nectarinesarenice · 18/06/2024 16:04

I agree with it all bar the toilet brush and I blame Mumsnet for that! I was younger and influenced easier and threw it away, but to be fair they are gross.

Swipe left for the next trending thread