Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

Her children are definitely old enough to cope with a long day! Personally I would prefer an overnight, but it’s definitely doable. It’s just one day, they’ll cope.

Firstly you sound like such a thoughtful sister, and you’ve put a lot of effort into organising this all which I can imagine is upsetting given her response. I think she’s being completely unreasonable as they are definitely old enough to navigate a long day. If she won’t come, can you ask a friend?

I don’t think it’s really fair to your sister ask for opinions on here. Most people (normal energy levels, not anxious) would probably enjoy the trip but you’ve said that your sister is an anxious person.

It sounds like a huge hassle to me, doing two flights in one day, and she’s going to be rallying the kids all day. It doesn’t really matter what people on here think because they’re not your sister.

If she's naturally anxious, it probably should've been discussed beforehand!
Give her a few days to think about it she might come round.
If not, maybe you could treat someone else?

12 & 16? What is going on with your sister? Even my 8 year old would cope with that.

Can the kids not stay home together? 16 isn’t actually a kid. As a parent myself, I know my 12 year old would be fine with a sibling around. Get their uncle to check in on them when walking the dog - there’s a adult close by for emergencies

Well, I'm 33 and that sounds like hell 😅 all that time in an airport, travel to and fro from airport for what? Sounds exhausting and not very rewarding

If it’s something you have done for each other before then I can see why you did it without asking.

Yes, the kids have to get up early but they can snooze on the plane.

Mine are 7 and 3 (so much younger) and we are considering doing a similar thing for Alton towers in the summer hols. We’d be driving up, London is 30 mins on the train for us so we do that regularly. AT is more like 3 hours drive and we can’t easily do overnight as we have a dog. Kids generally ride to the occasion of it’s something they want to do and many of them get up early to fly abroad for holidays and cope!

This.

Next time, consider asking what the recipient would like to do. Simples.

The OP said they don't live far from Dublin airport so not much travelling there and London City into the centre of London is not far at ll. Also when I have used Dublin airport and London City there is hardly any hold up at all unlike bigger airports

I have two boys the same age (or were that age when we took them to london for the day). We left the house similar times as we live 2 hours away and go by train. We like to stay all day and don’t get back till around 9/10ish. They loved it. And I dragged them round a tonne of shops and still they were good. It’s exciting, too exciting to be moaning. They were a bit cranky by around 6/7ish at night but I just fed them and they soon perked up 😜. Honestly she is being completely unreasonable and frankly ungrateful. Oh and not that it’s relevant but both my kids are on the spectrum so if they can cope, I’m sure hers can. I hope she comes to her senses and apologises for being so unreasonable.

I can think of nothing worse. Sorry. Grumpy teens having to get up early and trail round with us. It was really kind of you and a lovely idea ... for the two of you. As it stands, it's just not practical.

Yes The kids should be able to handle the early start and busy long day, however they might be in an obnoxious teenager phase and therefore make it not an enjoyable for your sister hence why she doesn’t want them to come. As the fights with sullen teens make the day more stressful than a pleasant treat

I’m glad your sister has come round.

I’m really surprised by some of these comments - I’m disabled and find travel an absolute nightmare of stress and anxiety, but if someone had done this for my birthday I would still love it! (Assuming they at least get the basics of access right), especially all paid for! And yes I also experience fatigue over and above the norm. I was at a concert last weekend - it’s Friday now and I’m still knackered. Wouldn’t change it for the world.

I thought you were going to say they were toddlers! 12 and 16 year old!!! Can't cope with a flight at 630! Wow! I'd love for a friend or sibling to arrange something like that for me.

When I read the beginning of the post I expected the kids to be really young from the way your sister reacted. Your sister is unreasonable and ungrateful and if the teenagers are so tired they can nap on the plane

As it actually stands, the trip is going ahead, but you haven't read the OP's posts.

I wish people would stop normalising taking the plane so often, flying somewhere and back on the same day. Such a lack of care for the future of our kids in a changing climate. That's the real YABU.

I do agree that some people fly too much and we must be mindful of our impact on the environment.

but I don’t agree that same day flights are somehow worse. whether or not we stay overnight doesn’t change the environmental impact of the two flights.

how often is too often? I will take four flights this year including this trip. I primarily use public transport and drive probably once a week.

it’s all about balance. I used to fly to London once, sometimes twice a week for work. That has thankfully now stopped as online meetings are now the norm. Lots of people regularly do first and last flights to london, Edinburgh, Belfast and Dublin (and I assume it’s the same all over the world).

my one family day out is okay. It’s the people doing 50 to 100 flights a year that is the problem.

I dont understand why people keep saying that they would love it, that they wouldnt mind being tired/getting up extra early/ spending so much time in airport and planes, that their children would love it too and therefore the people in question should also love it and cope with it fine.
No - people are allowed not to like what others like. People are simply different and their preferences will also change during their life.

Sorry that’s a bit of insane plan - it would work with Eurostar but with a plane! You’ll spend half the time on the way to/from airport and in security. Ive done a day trip to Paris but wouldn’t enjoy this idea, with or without kids

I suppose everyone is different - I have been doing same day flights for years and years - you get into London early, have all day, then two hours to travel home.

it is best with London city airport - bar wick and Heathrow are a nightmare (better shops though!).

I have also done this to Edinburgh and that’s also really easy.

As OP says, getting through London City and Dublin is quick and easy. They live not far from Dublin airport and London City is so close to the centre of London. Hardly any travelling to/from airports and should speed through security.

That makes me exhausted just reading it. Do people really visit another country for a day?! You're heart is definitely in the right place and it's a lovely gesture, just a bit left of the mark.

I'd be more worried about the dog than the kids in this scenario.