Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

The kids are 12 and 16 - can’t they have a day at home alone? 16 year old for sure, 12 year old is be fine with if there was someone they could call on nearby if needed?
the kids are also old enough for a long day - and it’s one day!

Surely the 16 year old can stay at home and the 12 year old can stay at a mates? It’s the mum who doesn’t want to go and is looking for excuses.

She’s already spoilt it by being grumpy so it’s a bit silly to worry about the kids doing it …
I bet the kids LOVE it!

It was a lovely idea OP.

She sounds a bit overly anxious but will probably love it if she comes round.

Your sister is weird and ungrateful, this is a lovely generous gesture. I am sure that the kids would love it, they are not babies 12 and 16 be tired by midday, what a lot of rubbish !

I for sure thought the kids were going to be toddlers lol
Lovely gesture OP and sorry you've gotten push back on this.
Could your sister perhaps be worried about money? And that could be a reason she doesn't want to go? I know you're paying for everything but presumably she'd still like to treat herself to something on a trip like this, then there's coffees/lunch/food for kids etc etc....just another perspective to think about.

Too much travelling in one day for me for my idea of fun - have you worked out how much time in London you will actually have between the checkin / security time and travel to/ from airport? If you are coming into Heathrow it’s almost 1.5 hrs on tube. 15 mins to Paddington but expensive and you still need to get to the west end proper. And then do it back again.

what are your plans for the estimated 4 hrs that will make it worth while and enjoyable for every age group?

if not refundable could you grovel to customer services and see if you could change return flight even for a fee and make it a more enjoyable two dayer. Accommodation in outer London not too expensive.

I have explained all this in the thread!

Money isn’t an issue. And I was clear flights, the boat ride, the London eye and meals were part of the gift.

she knows me well enough to know I would never give a gift that would cost the recipient money.

my bloody brother has now told my nephew who wants to go🤦‍♀️. I am keeping my head down to see what my sister will say. I am very cross with my brother because our sister said no and she is the parent. I deliberately didn’t tell the children. My brother thinks she is being ridiculous but it is really none of his business.

I'd love this as a present! Okay, so no kids to worry about (which I guess can maybe make a difference although my bestie often do big days out stuff with her two kiddos (16 and 9) and they're great, we just make sure we feed them when they start to flag, haha), but do have our dog who is very high maintenance, and as long as he was taken care of, I'd be in like Flynn.

Of course the kids will be fine, you’ve done a lovely thing. Not sure what’s wrong with your sister. How bout take the kids and leave your sister…?! 🤣

As others have already said, I thought you were going to say the kids were baby/toddler age. At 12 and 16 she’s being ridiculous, they’re at an age were they’ll have more energy than at any other point in their lives!

It sounds like she just doesn’t want to go and is using the kids as an excuse.

You’re right, OP, your sister is mad! The kids are old enough to come or stay at home for a day. It’s not like they have school the next day as it’s in the summer. Your sister is being weird. I think booking this trip was really nice of you. If she’s not up for it, take her kids and she can do what she likes at home.

My goodness, what a lovely thoughtful thing to do. I thought when you posted that the children were young at around six or seven years old but at age 12 and 16 they are plenty old enough and responsible enough to be able to handle a long day. Your sister is wrapping them in cotton wool or perhaps making excuses because she actually doesn’t want to go?! Her excuse just doesn’t add up. I feel sad for you although perhaps a big trip like that should have been discussed beforehand. I hope you get it sorted. You’ve been very kind and thoughtful.

You could have saved yourself all that typing by quickly scanning the OP's posts.

so - sister called today. We are all going! I have said absolutely no pressure and that i should have checked first.

she explained she was having a major row with BIL about leaving her to do everything over the summer and had told him she would book a holiday for her and me for two weeks and the kids were his responsibility! My trip was in the middle of this plan🫣. Luckily she hadn’t booked anything yet.

so have booked additional flight for brother and we going en mass.

I don’t think she will follow through on the longer holiday - I think it was just a threat to BIL because he does dump everything on her.

now have to manage bonkers brother on trip who will winds up the kids to misbehave. And try and get a one off dog walker.

bot exactly the trip I imagined but it will still be fun.

I do love my brother. And maybe I should have included him from the start.

another guilt spiral!

I knew she'd change her mind!

Hope you have a great trip OP!

😊 thank you. I am feeling much better about it.

I think she maybe using the flights as a reason but my guess is taking 2 teenagers around London isn't going to be fun, yes they shouldnt be rude or moan as it's a treat but if it's not a day that they're excited about they WILL MOAN, she may not want to say to you that the kids will find it boring. I would love to do a city break but there's no way I would do it with the kids! I would rather do beach days etc till they are older unless they particularly wanted to go.
Kids will happily get up early to go somewhere 'exciting'

Not everyone is happy to just ditch their teens for 15+ hours or have someone that can step up to watch them. I personally wouldn't go. In a few years time when they are both 17+ but not now.

Shes being ridiculous. I took my dc to London for the day. We left the house at 7.30am and got hone at 11pm. They were 6 and 7. They had a great time and yes they were tired on the way home/next couple of days.

Oops sorry, realise you're going now

I don't think she is angry as such, she'll probably come around when she's had time to think about it - but she suggested a day out somewhere local which sounds quite low-key to me and when presented with a full day London trip with all the bells and whistles she's just panicked. It sounds like a lot when you aren't expecting it and I say this as someone who also hates surprises. One of the problems with surprising people is they will have an instant reaction and it's not always the reaction you expect.
Yeah the kids are in theory old enough to enjoy it but she's still the one who will be making sure they are organised for the trip and making sure they are enjoying themselves. You are seeing it as a full fun packed day out but clearly to her it sounds quite stressful and a lot of running around.
Your heart was in the right place though so maybe once she's had time to process it and speak to her husband and kids about it she will be more up it. And maybe next time think of something that she would enjoy that just the two of you can do together, as much as she will love her family she may well have preferred and benefited from a break from them, some down time and quality time with her sister.

I thought you were about to say the kids were tiny!
But at their age surely they can stay home if they don’t want to come? I would leave a 12 year old home with a (responsible) 16 year old sibling with some clear groundrules.
And if they do want to come, great.
She is being a bit of a misery.