Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

I'd be really concerned if my children chose another day at home in bed or on the computer over a great day out. Children should be saying 'yes' to life and adventure and new real life experiences. They can sleep on the plane and stay in bed all the next day if it's too much for them. I see a couple of anxious mothers around here who have very tight boundaries that don't allow anything spontaneous or out of their control and I see them teaching their children to be the same. OP, I hope your sister thinks a bit more and decides to go for it. It'll be a day for all of you to remember for ever.

A 6.30 flight requires leaving home way earlier to get to the airport for check in, and arriving back after 9 means a late journey home, it's a nice idea but they may be too tired to enjoy the trip.

It isn't 1.5 hours on the tube. It's 48 mins on the Piccadilly line for £5.60 (to Leicester Square), or 32 mins on the Elizabeth line for £13.30 (to Tottenham Court Road).

That's what brothers/uncles are for 😄

I would hate this sprung on me and as much as I love my kids, the thought of taking them along too would not appeal. Now if my sister had told me beforehand her idea before booking it, and it was just the two of us (and the kids were being looked after at home) then I would have loved it.

So just the two of us, overnight and me being aware first - yes

It being sprung on me, kids coming too and no overnight - no

Read update, glad it’s all sorted. Have a great time.

This Is going to be a cancel the cheque thread where people don’t read the OPs updates

Hope you all have a great day out OP

That’s great that she came around. I thought you were extemely kind and thoughtful booking it all. I hope she apologised for causing you all this heartache! Enjoy your trip!!

For me, I hate surprises and would like to have been consulted beforehand, otherwise a lovely gesture.

I know she's your sister, but that is a bit out of order. Someone does something nice for you and you get angry? She could just say she's not so sure about it rather than getting in a huff and insulting you by saying you don't understand children (I take it you don't have any children yourself?) There is more to this and it's not your problem. It's your sister's.*

*I could take a stab at what I think is really going on, but it would be mere speculation so I won't.

Oh, there's been an update! She came round. That's good. Have a lovely time!

(Your sister's situation sounds exactly like my friend's. Their partners cause them untold stress and they take it out on close friends).

I would take a 12 and 16 year old to do this. Maybe it just seems like a lot for her to think about and organise. Also some teens are really moody and will just moan and groan the whole time and she cant be bothered to listen to it in her birthday. Can you suggest doing it in a very chilled way. Leisurely stroll, not packing too much into the day?

Yay! It all worked out in the end!
You'll have a great day I'm sure.

Hope you all have a great day as I am sure you will.

I would love that as a surprise birthday present. I love London and often go for the day (live in East Midlands). Getting up early and home late is so worth it (and I am 70).

Yes. Also read her updates 👍

I think it depends on the energy levels and life at the moment. I used to be like this, but I have young kids, don’t get much sleep, and a busy job. I can’t afford a tiring day out as I can’t get any extra sleep to recover. It’s quite the opposite- I am busier for taking time out as all the work is still waiting for me. So I need to allow for that and say no to things.

Glad she's agreed and you're all sorted, hope you all have a great time!

For the record I thought it was a really lovely, and incredibly generous gift. But I'm firmly in the "have as many adventures as possible" camp. In fact we're going to London for the day next Sunday - hoho tour, tickets for Frozen in the West End, 8.15am train there and arrive home at midnight! Oh and my kids are 6 and 3 with the oldest at school the next day! They'll have an amazing time and sleep on the train.

99% of the time we have excellent routines but holidays and special occasions are fine, and my kids love it. ❤️

Yes. Have a great trip OP.
Go with the flow on the brother front. There's two of you to keep him in check now!
I think they will love it.

I think give her time to come around. This is a lovely gesture and to be honest it would completely overwhelm me until I got to grips with it in my head first x

Tell her to stop being ungrateful and miserable and get on with making some lovely memories with you and her kids. Jeez it’s not like they’re toddlers!! If I was you I’d be really upset.

I think it sounds lovely, but maybe badly-executed.

I hate surprises, so if you sprung this on me as a surprise, my initial reaction would be negative.

Children that age can be difficult. They may love it, but equally might be really hard work. Also buying food for them all in London could get expensive.

I would leave a 16-year-old, but I wouldn't leave a 12 year old and be a plane-journey away.

Your sister may have stuff going on and this well-intentioned gift has inadvertently triggered some emotional responses

It would probably be a good idea to apologise to your sister for getting carried away, express that you'd like to have fun together, and include her in making plans for the day. You haven't done anything wrong but she is upset, and hopefully you can smooth that over.

Or maybe RTFT or the OPs updates as a minimum

I thought the same! Having said that even my 3 5 and under can enjoy a special/exciting/fun trip! They’ll sleep when and where they can if they need to but love an adventure and when we travelled to Menorca last year (then all under 5!) they did a 4am-9pm day by the time we had gotten up for flight, to airport, landed, had fun, watched a bit of evening entertainment etc!!! The older two napped briefly on the coach and the baby on the flight but otherwise managed it because it was exciting and holiday!!

your sister is ungrateful OP!

Usually I do - today I didn't. Maybe just ignore comments you find annoying?

She is being ungracious, but just thinking outside the box a bit.....has she visited London before? Could she be worried about things she's seen on news items and feels unsafe. I'm a Londoner and love the city, but have friends (who have never visited it) who get the impression it's a danger zone. The kids are being used as an excuse.

I think at 12 and 16 they should be fine with a trip like that, if they were under 5 I could understand, as that would be a long day for little ones, but if they are tired they can lay in the next day if in summer holidays. If the 16 year old doesn't want to go surely they are old enough to stay home alone for 1 day? I think she is over reacting to your lovely gesture