Dm took all the food for my kids!

[Littlechesnuttree]

Newly single mum here hi!

dm visited this weekend to ‘help’ largely consisted of me running errands for her and bringing cups of tea.

here’s the thing, she brought her dog who she only feeds meat (she won’t listen) so steak, chicken, mince etc.

i went to the butcher on the weekend and bought our meat for the month, steaks, whole chickens, lamb leg, chicken breast, meat and even duck breast.

all in all £80 or more likely. Had them in fridge before I could sort and put in freezer.

i had a kids bday party so was getting kids ready whilst dm was packing up.

go to the fridge this morning and it’s all gone… all the meat.

she thought I bought it for her dog. So now not only got to do a freezer tea for the kids but ive got to rebuy it all.

dm didn’t offer to replace and lives too far away to return.

aibu to think this is barmy behaviour? You check before you clean out someone’s fridge

It takes a minute to bank transfer, she's betting on wearing you down and honestly sounds like she has.

A mumsnetter will draft a strong text for you.

You have no food for your children. Do not let this go!

Just go and get it back if she won't reimburse you?

Good grief, she’s manipulative to boot 🤦🏾‍♀️.
I won’t tell you to rescind her invite, as you probably look forward to the company, if not the help.

Make sure there’s nothing for her to steal though, and make it clear you will not be buying dog meat for her.

How can anyone be this selfish ☹️

I cant, it’s a 2 hr drive each way. I work 9/5 full time.

I wont get the money back, it’s boiled down to now that’s what my petrol was to get up and back plus an hourly rate to watch your children after school Friday afternoon

Nah, who buys a leg of lamb for a dog anyway?

^ but it was a genuine mistake apparently she thought I was saying thank you for coming up

So, she transferred some money to your account?

She's talking complete bullshit and if you honestly believe that you're a doormat.

It doesn't cost £80 to drive 4 hours. And she's their grandparent ffs if you wanted paid for care you'd have got it! What about the money she's saving on dog food?

I would be so persistent if this was my mum (she wouldn't do this though).

Wow! Some kind of grandma that.

Look, stop with this " genuine mistake " nonsense op, she would transfere the balance over now if it were genuine and it wasn't a mistake, your mother has stolen food from you and her grandchildren.

It's a simple and horrible as that, I am sorry.

Don't let her fob you off till next month. Give her 3 options

1 send the money immediately
2 book an online order for delivery
3 drop the kids off every day for dinner.

I can't imagine a grand mother just taking food from her grand kids, even by accident, and not bothering to replace it.

So she's gone from having too much on, hysteria, to claiming it was a mistake to now justification of her actions.

That's an expensive few hours watching your kids. Sorry she's treating you like this. I'm sure it's not the first time and people like this are never I. The wrong.

I know she's your mother, but she is an absolutely horrible grandma.

Please tell me you aren't planning to let her come back anytime soon!

This.

Your mother is a disgrace.

Dont let her get away with it ffs!! Find your anger, think of your children.

OP, the fact that she hasn’t said oh gosh I’m mortified and insisted on transferring you the money immediately shows that this might have been more than a mistake. Is she struggling for money? she might have wrongly thought she would take the meat for dog, you would buy more and she would replace next month. The immediate switching to how busy she is but still came to help you is classic diversion tactics - now you’re the one feeling bad right?

Tell her her dog can stay home, she’ll have to pay boarding fees.

What sort of mutt is it?

She should pay as a gesture of good will - I'd feel mortified if I genuinely did this by mistake. The fuel is a shit argument unless you'd agreed to pay for it.

I know people always talk tough on here but I'd honestly not be giving her the time of day unless she does you right.

dm visited this weekend to ‘help’ largely consisted of me running errands for her and bringing cups of tea

I wont get the money back, it’s boiled down to now that’s what my petrol was to get up and back plus an hourly rate to watch your children after school Friday afternoon

When she talks about coming to visit you next month, tell her to stay at home because you can’t afford what she charges you. Tell her that if you hire a local babysitter, you won’t need to pay their travel expenses or run around after them, doing their errands and making their tea. She’s their grandmother, not Mary sodding Poppins. And at least a local babysitter won’t raid your fridge or leave your DC on baked beans for the month!

How horrible she is to take all the meat meant to feel your kids for a month. And all for her dog? Surely she definitely knew what she was doing.

Hope you manage to sort something out for the rest of the month. Sorry your mother is horrible.

What? Seriously? Fuck me, get that money back and extra you spent before she sets foot in your house again.

Does she not care that her daughter and grandchildren now have no food for the week? That's just totally fucked up.

Tell her not to visit anymore, easier for her and cheaper for you to pay someone for the childcare and you won't have to run around after her

She's not going to change os she suffers the consequences