Dm took all the food for my kids!

[Littlechesnuttree]

Newly single mum here hi!

dm visited this weekend to ‘help’ largely consisted of me running errands for her and bringing cups of tea.

here’s the thing, she brought her dog who she only feeds meat (she won’t listen) so steak, chicken, mince etc.

i went to the butcher on the weekend and bought our meat for the month, steaks, whole chickens, lamb leg, chicken breast, meat and even duck breast.

all in all £80 or more likely. Had them in fridge before I could sort and put in freezer.

i had a kids bday party so was getting kids ready whilst dm was packing up.

go to the fridge this morning and it’s all gone… all the meat.

she thought I bought it for her dog. So now not only got to do a freezer tea for the kids but ive got to rebuy it all.

dm didn’t offer to replace and lives too far away to return.

aibu to think this is barmy behaviour? You check before you clean out someone’s fridge

And your replied "no Mom,I can't afford to feed them NOW. Please send me the money ASAP". ??

It's no comfort, but I say make sure you get the money before she considers stepping foot over your threshold again...and then DON'T LET HER BACK IN. If you do let her back, search her and her car before she leaves as she can't be trusted. What a bitch.

I don't understand posts like these, someone does something completely batshit and unreasonable to someone. The wronged person then comes here to say how pissed off they are but whenever anyone makes a helpful suggestion, the OP starts making excuses for the person that has pissed them off. I get it's the OPs mother, and I'm not just going to repeat what everyone else has said here already as I suspect that the op will just let this slide and not do anything about it at the end of the day but you only get treated the way you let other treat you, your mother has stolen food away from her single daughter and grandkids and is treating her dog better then anyone.

Why is meat from the butcher's crap??

Here comes the friendly vegan.

I'm a vegetarian but the actual food content is irrelevant.

It doesn't matter whether it's £80 of meat or £80 worth of potatoes, the mother helped herself and took the lot!

Now her daughter has told her that only one portion was for her mother's dog and clearly labelled the woman hasn't hit the decency to pay he back immediately, given that she can't return the items as she lives a distance away.

Tell her you can't afford her visits and not to come again. Unless she actually contributes.

@Littlechesnuttree can she send £20 a week? Starting tonight?
It is outrageous that her dog is going to eat your childrens food! Just hauled packages out of your fridge!
Barmy is one word for it.

I've thought of another word for a person who empties a fridge of expensive meat without a please or thank you.
Keep asking for that money op!
I too do a big shop once a month and if that was lifted..? I could manage lentil and veg based meals for a bit. After that, rice I guess. There would be zero replacement money for food.
I am appalled she drove off with it.

Do not invite her to stay as seemed expensive and zero help,

Jesus op l would be livid and demand she transfer the whole amount by bank transfer straight away. This is very very strange behavior.

Just text her and tell her that her solution doesn’t work as you’re skint. So can she ping you the money.

And if she comes again ensure you have zero meat in the house and feed her meals like beans on toast, homemade soup and sliced bread. Inform her you have no money as she stole your food last time,

💐
That's even worse! She is complaining to you about stress when you are so newly separated. WTAF. I would have to spell that out to her in words of one syllable, that you are barely afloat, that her decision to help herself to the food has made it even harder for you, and if she cannot find it in her to reimburse you, then forget coming back next month. Can you tell her you cannot afford to pay her £80 a trip? That would pay for a cleaner for a couple of hours every other week (for example), which would be far more useful than paying her to feed Prince Fido.

Regular parents wouldn't take food from their child's fridge. Regular people also wait to receive a gift and don't just steal what they hope they're being gifted. Regular people would be mortified and send the money, apologising for inconveniencing you with an extra trip to the butchers.

What your mum did isn't normal and how she's reacting to being challenged on it it's normal either.

I'd be asking for the money back! Unless you are very wealthy why on earth would she think you would spend so much on meat for a dog.
I just can't imagine anyone assuming all that was for a dog, I'm not sure I believe that she made a genuine mistake there.

Unbelievable!! Your dm thought "steaks, whole chickens, lamb leg, chicken breast, meat and even duck breast" was for her dog! Totally unbelievable.

This is so terrible! How could she possibly think that was all for the dog! Did she not ask or make no mention of it post loading it into her car. It is like shop lifting what she had done to you! Can’t believe the cheek of it and to steal from your own daughter and grand kids!

My mum would be coming to my house with cooked food and ingredients rather than taking from me especially in the circumstances you are in now. Such selfish and odd behaviour! Does she have form for such Behaviour?! Why isn’t she transferring the money via online banking after you have told her you are skint?! What does she expect your kids to eat?! Is she poor? Does she work?! Does she think you are rich?!

ive not made excuses for her just said she doesn’t have dementia - not sure how that could be seen as making excuses

This post made me laugh ... did she really think a meat from the butcher will be for her DOG?!? How dillusional is this woman?

I don't think you can do much. Some suggestions are just ridiculous, she is your mom, not your neighbour, you can't treat her like a criminal. But you can have a stern word with her and explain this is unacceptable and she needs to reimburse you next time she sees you.

I'm sorry for this situation ... it sounds really stressful, but kids are resilient they will be fine with no meat for a couple of weeks. :)

You don;t say how old your DM is but could she have signs of dementia? I couldn;t imagine anyone in their right mind would think all that meat was for the dog. Also, could she be skint and she doesn;t want to tell you? If not, she stole from you and I would push to have her send me $.

@Littlechesnuttree you are absolutely crackers. Why on earth do you let someone so toxic into your life especially when you are going through a difficult time? Mind boggles.

Don’t have her to stay again. Go absolutely silent on her, as low contact as you can muster. Don’t enable her.

She’s typically spends on him so it was on track. He eats venison, duck, steak regularly occasionally he slum it and have chicken

I can’t believe she’d think you got that much meat for a dog! Did she not see the meat labelled for the dog?

I think you should go low contact for a bit to have some space. Ridiculous that she didn’t check who the meat was for before taking it. Ridiculous that she’s not automatically paid the cash back.

She’s more well off than I, she’s retired and gets about 3k a month after tax no rent or mortgage. New sports car every 3 years.

i get about 3k after tax too, however I do have a mortgage and childcare bills