Dm took all the food for my kids!

[Littlechesnuttree]

Newly single mum here hi!

dm visited this weekend to ‘help’ largely consisted of me running errands for her and bringing cups of tea.

here’s the thing, she brought her dog who she only feeds meat (she won’t listen) so steak, chicken, mince etc.

i went to the butcher on the weekend and bought our meat for the month, steaks, whole chickens, lamb leg, chicken breast, meat and even duck breast.

all in all £80 or more likely. Had them in fridge before I could sort and put in freezer.

i had a kids bday party so was getting kids ready whilst dm was packing up.

go to the fridge this morning and it’s all gone… all the meat.

she thought I bought it for her dog. So now not only got to do a freezer tea for the kids but ive got to rebuy it all.

dm didn’t offer to replace and lives too far away to return.

aibu to think this is barmy behaviour? You check before you clean out someone’s fridge

@WinterMorn In case it helps the OP said:

Littlechesnuttree · Today 17:33
I’ve said that’s the kids dinners for the month gone and tonight and she said I’d have to get more and she was sorry, I said I can’t afford it and she said she’ll take me to the butchers next time She visits next month

its the money and the time too,

Now are you quite happy and satisfied? Not feeling aggressive or whiny or entitled?

She’s absolutely not going to return it. Her behaviour is disgraceful. Get rid.

Tell her to send you the money by the end of today, she can't leave her grandchildren hungry!

Has she got dementia?

Thank you, I have…but until the latest OP post it wasn’t clear.

and then she had breakdown about how she’s got so much to deal with but took time out to help me…

So she's a theif and a manipulative... She sounds delightful. What did she say when you told her to transfer the money across. Seriously don't engage in her nonsense tell her she needs to transfer the money now.

Omg...that's outrageous!

Text her your bank details and say you need it in your account today to feed her grandchildren.

I’d be cancelling all future visits immediately IIWY

Not when I have to read posts like yours, no.

I’d ask her to order replacements online and have it delivered to your address. Plus money for a takeaway to be delivered for dinner tonight and until the delivery arrives.
Failing that, she transfers money to cover all of that to you pronto.

Ok. But you've asked her to transfer the money to you, right?

Next time!

Your children will be dead from starvation before 'next time'.

For me there would be no future visits, no errands or anything until that money was back in my bank account. As you say OP it is outright theft.

Can you drive over to her house ?

Completely unreasonable of her OP she needs to send you the money to cover the cost of the meat, and in future if she visits she needs to bring the food for her dog.

Your Mother is a manipulative bitch!!
Putting her dogs food above her Grandchildren!
Is she normally this selfish and heartless?
I would tell her you send you an online shop to replace the meat as your children can't wait for a month
If she's not proficient with online shopping, tell her again you need the money now
Don't let her get away with this and don't have her to stay again

As if a grown adult took food from her daughter and Grandchildren to feed A DOG and is now using hysterics as a distraction to not replace it.

Why would a newly single Mother spend that much on a dog that isn't theirs. She's absolutely taking the mick.

If it was a genuine mistake, she'd have offered to send the money asap. Not attempt to guilt you about asking for the money!

I bet this isn't the first thing like this that's ever happened?

Reply and say
“that Doesn’t work for me.
here are my bank details
xxxxx
please can you transfer £85 so I can rebuy this week? Thanks”

the £5 is to cover your time re buying food she took

There must be more to this. Is she struggling for money but too ashamed to ask. Dementia? This is not normal behaviour.

I'd phone her and say this.

You have two choices -

1. You transfer the money to me this evening.

1. We will be going no contact with you and your dog. No mother is better than a mother who steals from her grandchildren.

She is awful! Appreciate you did not want to be trying to sort this at work

Glad you at least have something to feed them tonight

Does your butcher deliver? Wondering if you can send her the exact same order so she can see the price.

Either way I would be saying 'the cost of the meat you took was X and I need to replace it in the next 24 hours so dc can eat, please transfer the money, here are my account details'

Tell her to pay back the £80, she may want you to see this as a misunderstanding buts it's theft.

Did she even pay you for the dog's steaks who buys steak for dogs?

Sounds absolutely selfish and borderline crazy!

So did you ask how your supposed to feed them between now and then? Does she not pay you for the meat you did buy the dog?