Dm took all the food for my kids!

[Littlechesnuttree]

Newly single mum here hi!

dm visited this weekend to ‘help’ largely consisted of me running errands for her and bringing cups of tea.

here’s the thing, she brought her dog who she only feeds meat (she won’t listen) so steak, chicken, mince etc.

i went to the butcher on the weekend and bought our meat for the month, steaks, whole chickens, lamb leg, chicken breast, meat and even duck breast.

all in all £80 or more likely. Had them in fridge before I could sort and put in freezer.

i had a kids bday party so was getting kids ready whilst dm was packing up.

go to the fridge this morning and it’s all gone… all the meat.

she thought I bought it for her dog. So now not only got to do a freezer tea for the kids but ive got to rebuy it all.

dm didn’t offer to replace and lives too far away to return.

aibu to think this is barmy behaviour? You check before you clean out someone’s fridge

So what's she said about sending you the money and stealing the whole lot? Surely the conversation didn't end with she can't return it because she's too far away?

Text her now and ask for the money. Then rebut and tell her she is an absolute pain in the arse.

Give her your bank details and ask her to transfer the money. There's no point being this pissed off but actually doing nothing about it.

I'd be livid.

I’ve said that’s the kids dinners for the month gone and tonight and she said I’d have to get more and she was sorry, I said I can’t afford it and she said she’ll take me to the butchers next time She visits next month

its the money and the time too,

Ask her to transfer it!

Well then to tell her tough shit she can't just say she's not paying for it!

I don't know where to start with this. She is batshit crazy. You need to be really firm with her that she has to send you £80 today.

So…..have you asked her for the money or not? Why won’t you answer this question?

Tell her your children - her grandchildren- can't wait a month so to transfer the money so that they can eat. If she doesn't then you don't let her into your house again.

'Mum, that was my kids meals for the month. Only the steaks labeled for the dog were meant for you. You know I am on my own now and cannot afford to spend another £80 to feed your grandkids, while your dog eats like a king. Please could you transfer me the money, so they don't go without.'

"Unfortunately, mum, I can't not feed the children until you come back. Please send the £80 so that I can replace what you took. I'll need it by Wednesday when I have time to go back to the butchers". And then think about whether you really want to see her in a month.

Say "no, you will not take me to the butchers next time - transfer me the money today. Here are my bank details"

There is no way I would let her visit again!! That behaviour would kill my goodwill stone dead!

I have answered the question, why are you so aggressive

*'Mum, that was my kids meals for the month. Only the steaks labeled for the dog were meant for you. You know I am on my own now and cannot afford to spend another £80 to feed your grandkids, while your dog eats like a king. Please could you transfer me the money, so they don't go without.'$

This, text her this!

Simmer down, Delia

She can send you the money but better still she could have replacement meat delivered. What a cow.

It’s not aggressive at all, but I don’t understand why you don’t just ask for the cash? I must have missed it if you have done, in which case you have my apologies. It’s just that this post has people asking you this question repeatedly and you don’t seem to have answered it 🤷‍♀️

No way would she be fobbing me off for buying food for my children in a month's time when she has waltzed off with it. She should have asked but there is no way anybody with even a shred of common sense thinks that £80 or more of meat is for her dog.

She would be paying me right now or there wouldn't be any more visits. Her dog is eating better than her grandchildren who are going hungry. She is a thief and I would be thinking very seriously if I want somebody setting that sort of example for my children.

I just can't imagine anybody doing this or not making amends immediately. My mother's dog led a very pampered life but there is no way my mother would have cleaned out my fridge of family food for him.

Rather than say you can’t afford it just outright tell her she needs to transfer you x amount today so that you can replace the meat for your children’s meals.

Taken on board 🙂 but I honestly can’t see where this has been answered.

How on Earth did she think £80 of meat was for her to take home for her dog?
This makes no sense. She's either lying and just took the contents of your freezer or she's got some mental health issues.

She needs to transfer you the money.

@WinterMorn you can select 'view all' to read all of the OPs replies on threads.

I would tell her you can’t wait, the children have no food, you have no money and you need it now.
If she prevaricates, and she will do, cut contact. Why would you entertain a thief in the house?

I called her and asked where everything went she said for the dog, and she’s too far away for return it and I’d just have to ‘pop to the shops’ and buy more which I pointed out I’m alone, and at an office, I can’t. They have nothing for the week and I don’t want to spend another £100 or so. She said she’d buy the next load of meat from the butcher when she’s up next 3/4 weeks time. I said come on mum, what do I do in the mean time and then she had breakdown about how she’s got so much to deal with but took time out to help me… all whilst I was at work so I don’t really have the time or bandwidth for the conversation