Rejecting dp’s gift due to irrational phobia

[Korner]

Dp booked an excursion for an upcoming holiday our anniversary. It will be an early morning hot air balloon flight. Apparently it is non-refundable.

My BIGGEST fear in life is burning alive. I know the risk of incident is low but it’s just not worth it for me. I’d probably have to go up with 3 full sized fire extinguishers

Dp thinks im being ridiculous.

AIBU?

If you won't enjoy it is not much of a gift is it

I think a LOT of people are scared of hot air balloons and I wouldn't book this without being 100% sure that my partner was keen. I assume your DP knows you have this fear - why on earth did he book it?! I'd say thank you but he should take a child/friend and you will happily watch from below.

Your DP is an arse to book something he knows you would find terrifying. That’s horrible.

I wouldn’t go up in a hot air balloon if you stuck a winning lottery ticket in the bottom of the basket for that reason plus heights and that it just doesn’t appeal to me.

Did he know about your fear of hot air balloons? Out of curiosity how do you feel about heights?

Its not a gift for you is it?
If its a real phobia or a fear you just don't want to work on then your DH is being ridiculous.

YABU

You wouldn’t burn alive in a hot air balloon. If there was an explosion, it would be the initial trauma and fall that would kill you.

That doesn’t really help, though, does it? Sorry.

He is aware of my phobia re fire but assumed my understanding of how unlikely the chances of this occurring would trump it.

Don't let your fears ruin your life. Once you're up there you'll forget your fears. Maybe have headphones on with music so you don't hear the burner.

You're more likely to die from falling! (Sorry not helpful!)

Fine with heights. Enjoy rollercoasters etc. Only fear is burning alive.

I'd actually poke my own eyes out than go in a hot air balloon the "woosh" alone is terrifying. Why would he not even hint at the surprise so you could say no, are these excursions really non refundable what if you were sick on the day? I wouldn't go on it even if it was paid for.

I do not forget my fear of flying every time I get in a plane. Don't be ridiculous!

Yes you are more likely to die by getting tangled in electrical wires and being electrocuted to death (is this helping?)

Did he make the connection between burning alive and hot air balloons?

If he's booked it after making that connection and deciding you'd do it anyway, he's been a bit of a knob. It's not a present if you're scared of it. It's almost immersion therapy.

If he didn't connect the two but now thinks the chances are so low that you could do it anyway, that's a bit different, but he should be prepared for you to say you can't/won't, and hopefully he won't mind doing it by himself if he can't get a refund...

It's a bit of a niche excursion if you're not mad about hot air balloons/heights.

YANBU That’s like someone booking me a boat trip, I would just refuse to do it.

I feel like a hot air balloon is one of those activities you don’t book for people unless they’ve been constantly talking about how much they’d love to have a ride in one and they have no known fear of heights.

it wouldn’t be a gift for me. I’m surprised that your DH booked without asking.

DP also didn’t think hot air balloon = fire

I'd hate a hot air balloon ride, although for different reasons. I'm claustrophobic and the thought of being in a confined basket up in the sky sounds terrifying to me!

I don't think you should have to do it if you really don't want to, regardless of how irrational your reasons might be. It's a risk your DP took when deciding to surprise you with something non-refundable.

This gift wasn't very thoughtful. Perhaps he'd just really like to do it, and if that's the case then could take someone else?

Does he not know how they work ? For that alone I'd not go what an absolute humpty!

Phobias aren't rational. Logic doesn't come into it.

I'm not sure this is true. There's a strong likelihood that she'd spend the whole time feeling incredibly anxious and not enjoy it anyway.

I'm scared of fire and a ton of other stuff. I hadn't thought about it before, but hot air balloons are definitely on that list, partly because of the fire, partly because you're strung in a basket and floating through the sky...

Also, the whole trip up until this point could well be ruined for her by her anxiety

Also like to add: fear of fire isn't irrational. Fire burns stuff.

@WishIMite You have a fear of flying but you still get on a plane so it's not that big of a fear, the more you do things the less your fear becomes. You haven't died on from a plane crash, you're more likely to die in a car crash but do you fear driving everytime you get in a car? You'd never leave your house you don't know what's round the corner?

OP is not afraid off heights it's being burned to death. Once she's up there and sees the view etc, it's a bit different to looking out a plane window.

Yes going up in a hot air balloon there is a small chance something could go wrong, same with anything, going on a roller coaster, crossing the road etc.

If your not afraid off