There's no such thing as an independent female

[Yoyodiet]

I'm so wound up! Earlier, DP said to me he thinks I would benefit from signing up to Andrew Tate's academy course or whatever it is (I like learning about making money online, more out of interest than actually doing it myself). I said probably, but I wouldn't want to fund him as I don't like him. He asked why and I said he's not very nice to/about women. He was aghast and we went back and forth, defending him for the most part when I was reading bits off to him from a BBC article to prove my point. I read the following -

In that same video, he described women as "intrinsically lazy" and said there was "no such thing as an independent female".

...and he was like 'yeah, no women can be independent, you need men'. I couldn't believe it! I won't bore you with the heated discussion that ensued but he genuinely believes that not just I would crumble without a man (him), but all women on the planet if men suddenly disappeared. We would apparently perish in good time because we 'cannot hunt, do electrics, fix a roof or change a tyre'. (To add insult to injury I have qualifications in electrical installation and engineering, I'm pretty sure I could also change a tyre if push came to shove).

Also, I said I think there would be less wars without men - he said there'd me more because women are bitchy?? I said I'm pretty sure men have started a lot more wars than women in history. He pointed in my face and told me women didn't even fight in wars til recently. I reminded him that men made those rules.. 😂

He genuinelyyyyyy believes I'd fall apart without him. Our relationship has been rocky lately but this really made me see a different side to him. He really made me feel like a lesser person and it's made me feel really disappointed since. AIBU to be lying in bed awake stewing over this???

If he likes Andrew Tate he's a fucking moron.

This

i am so sorry.
The upside is he’s shown his arsehole self after 9 years not 20!

Sex trafficking = living off women. So not such an independent man.

In truth, we're all interdependent as a pp said.

I'm dependent on the milkman, who will soon deliver the milk (I hope), he's dependent on whoever supplies that milk to him. I'm dependent on bus drivers, shop people, the pharmacist when I pick up my prescription later, that same pharmacist is dependent on doctors writing the prescriptions and big pharma for producing the meds, delivery drivers ...I could go on. We all could.

I don't need to change tyres, no car. Does your Andrew Tate fan boy hunt or mend roofs, OP? What he's said is rubbish, we all know that, but what is most concerning is that he was surprised you didn't want to sign up to the odious man's 'course' and the effects of men like this on your children. Their own father.

If he wants examples of lazy, he need look no further than AT who appears to think it's acceptable to take the money from women he's forced into prostitution and then attempt to rake in money from setting up 'courses' to teach others how to be like him.

Honestly, these would be a total deal breaker for me! I’d fuck it off quicker than any man would change a tyre for me 😂 Andrew Tate is scum of the earth along with his cult of incels.

This. Did nt you talk at all before you married?

He's been subtly undermining your confidence all this time, and now he's proving what a misogynistic idiot he is. Is this really the sort of influence you want around your children?

This. Apart from being morally repugnant, he's a weak minded ego maniac at his core. This is who your husband looks up to. Instant ick.

*DP, not husband

Urgh sorry OP, finding out my partner was following the religion of Tate would make my vagina seal completely shut.

In recent years he seems to have built up a following of inadequates who now seem to have garnered the strength in numbers to bleat his bullshit around. So I can completely understand why it's come as a recent surprise.

Just like there’s some men who can’t hunt, there’s plenty woman who can- trust me we’d function absolutely fine without men if we needed to!

I can change a tyre and dispatch / prepare animal product so I’m over here waiting to do my bit when the time comes ;)

Without Andrew Tate he may not of thought like that.

However now he's basing his own opinion on Andrew Tate's words of wisdom and has succumbed to the cult.

He sounds a bit stupid. God help us if the world was full of men like that. be prepared now. He's shown you a side of himself that really isn't very nice.

The whole thing comes across as kind of bizarre because there are plenty of online resources about making money, or resources about making money online, so you could have pursued that without having anything to do with Tate.

However, yes, of course the rant he subjected you to when you said "no" was misogynistic. Only you know if he said a bunch of misogynistic things because he's a misogynist or if there's some other explanation (thinks it's absurd/funny, a wind-up, Devil's Advocate, wanted to see your reaction, etc.), but Occam's Razor says yeah, someone making misogynistic arguments is probably misogynistic.

Beyond that, he seems like kind of a simpleton because if scenarios actually played out where (1) all men disappeared and (2) all women disappeared from Earth, Scenario 2 is the only sustainable one as the women would be able to reproduce using the existing supply of pre-banked sperm, while the men would die out in a generation.

Sorry you were doing an engineering apprenticeship and he just told you women can’t fix shit? He’s stupid isn’t he?

He's now in engineering and he's somehow worked his way in to a great job with no quals. Giving him his dues he is good at problem solving/fixing, but he reminds me regularly. He makes me feel small, and he's about to have a big pay rise so I should quit the job I love to 'earn more to aspire to be like him'. This has played out in the past few months and made me step back and look at our relationship. He's not supportive, he brings me down.

I've heard him listen to AT tiktok videos on occasion recently and I didn't think much of it, just rolled my eyes internally but perhaps he's actually actively following him 😩

I'm planning a sit down chat tonight about this and other things.

Nah, he's a pig 🐷

You can show him how independent females manage by leaving him

Bet he twists it to you not being independent because of child support - he will see that as him supporting YOU and not the children

In fact ask him about the above ^^ his answer will literally tell you everything you want to know

Andrew Tate is an ugly loser and a creep for young women. However really only lesbians I feel are truly independent of a man.

No good comes of an impressionable man watching AT. You don't want this influence on your children.

So only by being exclusively same-sex attracted can women be independent of men? Those of us who have always lived without involvement with men regardless of our orientation don't count?

I see this stuff as a bit like a cult.

The idea women are incapable of being independent from men is hilarious. What’s his rationale?

@Opinionwontchangeluv you say only lesbians are independent of men. What do you mean by this exactly?

Plenty of women earn their own living, run their own households etc.

I'd be tempted to tell him you've done some research and there's a direct correlation between Andrew Tate and men who live in their mums back bedrooms, and not being independent as they are so unattractive to adult women.

It’s time to show him how independent you are and leave. Give him a taste of his independence while you let him look after the children full time.

Op I honestly think you need to do something serious about this as you don’t want your DCs growing up believing this stuff.
Not sure where you would start, relationship counselling might be a gentle way in? A external person might get through to him. But tbh it sounds like he is a horrible man there might be no changing his mind. You can’t stay with a man that does not respect women.

Dear God, my DS 16 has a more critical view of Tate than your DH!!

What a moron- I live in a house of men and they all know that if any of them came out with that crap their lives would become unpleasant. I will not tolerate it and neither should you. Tell him straight, one more comment about what I ‘can’t’ do or anything about Tate’s wisdom and we’re done.

Take it as a sign, OP. He will not change. Can't believe he has a daughter and he buys into that shit.