All I wanted when I got home from hospital was to be looked after by my dh

[Braindump09]

I've had an op.
Got home today. No drinks made for me. No dinner offered. He did ask once if I needed anything. That was asked as I was carrying the washing.i took delivery of the supermarket shop this afternoon. Put it all away. The op wasn't heart surgery but it was still quite a big one.i was under for 2 hours.
Feeling sad tonight

Mine, too.

That is shocking. Are you so little to him?
I hope you find the strength to leave him or throw him out when you're better.
He's a terrible role model for your DC

Hmm yes - not one to jump on the bandwagon, but genuinely feels right to LTB.

Blokes are horrible selfish pigs. Dunno why we want them. They think of 2 things.. themselves, and their penises

This

Sometimes you just have to go upstairs and get in bed , tell him you were told to rest and feel bad . Let him get on with kids/ meals etc !

I voted YABU but only because you came home and did the washing and sorted the shopping. You should have come home put your feet up and asked DH to put the wash on and sort the shopping.

This absolutely. Any good reason you'd continue to plan a future with someone so uncaring OP? Hope you're feeling a bit better. 🌹

I’m a single mum to a DD (13) who has disabilities… 5 weeks ago I had a total hysterectomy… My DD has been better than your DH !! From the minute I got home she’s made me hot drinks, breakfast in bed before she leaves for school, sandwiches made and left for me.. cooked dinners… hoovered, walked dogs, shopped!….
Men act incapable but if a 13 year old can do it I’m sure a fully grown adult man can! They’re so bloody inconsiderate!

My husband did this to me. He is now my ex-husband.

I would have been the gobshite waking him up.
Telling him I have just had an op I am not doing anything .
Asking for the drinks /the food.
Asking for what needed.

Unthoughtful and selfish partner you have

So you ask delivery man to put baskets in doorway. He wants them back, get him to empty them onto the floor if necessary. Leave it there (ok pick up anything frozen maybe) and do not do washing. Go and wake H and tell him the food needs putting away and the washing needs doing and you need the whole bed so get out of it.
If he's so shitty he won't, get glass of water (since you've had an op - other wise bucket) and throw on him. Go to bed in kid's room. When he comes to complain about food/washing tell him he's leaving. He's not worth it. Find a better one - there are lots and lots.

FFS, there's always one.

Apart from being a stupid comment, it's terribly unhelpful. You make it sound like the OP shouldn't expect more from life, and that's a "normal" behaviour.

It REALLY isn't.

Sweeping generalisation right there!

My DH is not a horrible selfish pig. He has always cared for me after I've been in hospital and with multiple other illnesses, major and minor, and I have done the same for him.

Your post excuses the OP's husband as your claim that 'blokes are horrible selfish pigs' could be taken that she shouldn't expect any better, when actually, she has a right to be treated better.

Women do not have to put up with men who simply don't give a shit about them, nor should we lower our expectations and standards to meet your benchmark of 'blokes are horrible selfish pigs'.

Jesus wept

That is simply not true.