For being upset at what DP said to his friend?

[summerOnes]

DP is asleep on the sofa and his phone was next to me charged up. He kept getting messages from his best friend, like one every second saying “reply quick” so I went onto the messages to see if it was anything serious so I could tell DP.

Long story short I’ve just read a conversation that went like this.

His friend “how was Amsterdam, did you go to the red light district” (we went amsterdam last week week)
DP “yeah there were so many fit birds there”
His friend “There is isn’t there🤣”
DP “yeah I’m so glad I went with (my name) otherwise I’d be skint🤣”

Ive come upstairs because I am fuming. He’s still asleep downstairs and I know when I mention it to him he will say he was joking. But would anyone else take it as a joke? Am I over thinking and just put it down to lads having “banter”

Why are you making up mad excuses for looking through his phone?
You’re paranoid, and you snooped through his phone. Didn’t like what you saw. Boohoo. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. It’s lads banter. Ignore it, if you bring it up he will know you snoop through his phone whenever the opportunity arises.

You are showing your true colours now... you are not getting the answers and support you were hoping for... I see you don't answer any questions about why you were both in the red light district... you wanted everyone to support you and not everyone is.. your replies are now telling a bigger story x I wish you and you're insecurities well

@beckybarefoot if you are really that interested then I went to see it because a few of my friends who have been recommended it. I hope that’s good enough for you🙂 I didn’t start this thread with the intention of getting particular answers as I’ve already stated and if people are going to get arsey then I will get arsey back

I wish you and your bad grammar well xx

Well said.

Yes, some of the bars on this thread are so low they're on the floor!

#grammer

Awkward!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh nooo

Me too.

@Carbrer not really... I do not understand the point of the OP's original post...

They went to look at sex workers because it had been recommended by friends?

Look at what? And now she's upset about some banter her partner has had with a friend which she only knew about because she didn't trust her partner and went through his phone!

So many posters defending "lad banter" clearly explains the amount of women on here starting threads about their shitty partners. Raise your bars and address your internalised misogyny 🙄

I’d be annoyed he used the word ‘birds’. I haven’t heard that since circa 1978.

👏

Depending on how he is generally, I wonder whether he could he have been bringing your name into the conversation quite swiftly to balance having a joke with his pal and shutting down the topic by reminding him 'I'm a married man, my wife is my priority with, sex tourism isn't on my itinerary'?

Don't get me wrong, I would not have liked to see that from my DP and feel strongly about the sex trade etc. But in isolation I wouldn't have taken it to mean he'd ever wish to pay for sex.

I meet some men and wonder who on gods earth lives with this specimen when I find out they are married, and they start every sentence with love. Now I know. A match made in heaven/hell.

Well, it’s not banter it’s him saying quite plainly that whenever you aren’t around he’s got a “green light” to cheat on you, right? Doesn’t matter if he’s in Amsterdam or not basically you now know if he sees a “fit bird” and you aren’t there he thinks that’s fair game, an he’s even grim enough to pay for it too.

But you probably didn’t need this thread to tell you that he’s not a catch.

Ah I thought you were pulling OP up on her grammar, but misspelled it. 🫣

I don't see the issue with visiting the red light district, I did too with an ex, as have a few friends, as it's one of the most famous parts of Amsterdam. We weren't interested in visiting any sex workers, just walked through the area.
The trust part is a little dicey, but too much unacceptable behaviour gets dismissed as banter, I wouldn't accept it if it had been my partner either.

@Carbrer I could get on board with the whole .. we got lost, didn't know where we were etc line.

But they as a couple went to have a good look round, she agreed and went with him on the recommendation of 'friends'.

Whose friends? So it's ok for friends to tell you to go see it but it's not ok for his friend to make jokes?

Big double standards now...

Christ alive the incels have infiltrated MN again by the looks of it.

Your DP is disgusting OP, he’d be an ex very swiftly.

No... just the creeps with simple brains.
They really aren't all like this. "It's just lads banter" 🤢 Christ raise your low standards.

You are delusional.

You willingly went into part of the town famous for having literal windows full of young women making themselves sexually attractive for men.
And now you are pissed off your bloke found them attractive.

It's not like he said to your face "I wish you look like them", he simply made a comment that if he was not with you he would not mind fucking one of them.
Which is their job and you knew about it when you went there.

Exactly. Also painting of war game figures and planning to meet up in DH's case.

And yes, holidays but not jokes about prostitutes while on holiday.

I wouldn't see that as just banter. It was horrible.

You are a bloke and I claim my £5.