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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WhatsApp group being ruined by underwear pics

130 replies

Boreoffwithyournakedpics · 16/06/2024 16:16

I don't really know if I'm overreacting here.

I'm in a WhatsApp group with some mums originally from reception. Our kids are teens now. We are loose friends for years, have a night out about twice a year and a summer get together with the DC. These gatherings usually have about half the group there so while we keep up-to-date with the chatting on the group it's not unusual to not see a person in person for a few years.

One of the women, Natalie recently got into fitness working out with a PT twice a week. She was slim already. A few months ago she went to her school reunion and shared that she was nervous. She posted a photo of herself about to go out and we all told her she looked gorgeous - she did! Later she said some of the women were unfriendly and we all joked that they were jealous of her. She then made some nasty remarks about them being very fat and old looking now. It was a bit weird but the conversation moved on.

Some of the women in our group are struggling with their self esteem and upset about their weight. I don't know why as I only ever see them looking great but this is what they have shared.

Natalie, possibly spurred on by our compliments is constantly posting photos of herself. What started with outfits is now underwear shots every few days referring to her thighs, snatched waist or whatever.

I personally am delighted for anyone working on their fitness and feeling good about themselves (I'm in that camp) but the relentless photos and self congratulating are really peeing me off. It's not a group about fitness, nobody else is sharing progress photos and frankly it's bloody annoying.

It's gotten to the point I have muted the group and rarely post. I am holding myself back from making a caustic remark.

Yabu : she can do what she wants and is possibly inspiring the others
Yanbu : what a tedious bore - tell her to get a grip.

OP posts:
cansu · 16/06/2024 16:19

Yes she's a tedious bore.

GatherlyGal · 16/06/2024 16:20

Sounds unbelievably tedious to me and I'd be either removing myself or at least muting the chat.

I think I'm luckily a year or 2 too old for these school whatsapp groups.

Crunchymum · 16/06/2024 16:22

What??? You mean you don't leave these groups the second your child finishes primary? I'm already counting down to leaving the Y6 group next month.

Boreoffwithyournakedpics · 16/06/2024 16:25

The group was set up at the beginning to organise an event. It hasn't been about the DC much, they went on to different schools. It's a really nice group and I wouldn't want to leave it. I know I should scroll by but it's getting under my skin for some reason.

OP posts:
OMGsamesame · 16/06/2024 16:27

She is a tedious bore. Just ignore. Archive the chat if necessary

BIWI · 16/06/2024 16:29

Just tell her! You can't be the only one thinking this is boring/inappropriate.

TheChosenTwo · 16/06/2024 16:29

If she wants to post these photos somewhere she needs to find an appropriate group! Why anyone posts this stuff is beyond me but I go to the gym etc for me and not for anyone else!

TheCheeseThief · 16/06/2024 16:30

I'd just ignore her and make conversation about something else a few times she'll get the hint.

SmellsLikeMiddleAgeSpirit · 16/06/2024 16:34

Yep, she’s a tedious, self obsessed bore.
You will not be the only one thinking so.

Lillers · 16/06/2024 16:34

If you want to remain in the group and say something tactful to get her to realise that what she’s doing is annoying, maybe next time she sends a photo say something like, “Have you thought about starting a fitness Instagram account? I’m sure there would be followers who’d be really interested in your progress! I’m not sure any of us can really relate very well.”

Might work, might piss her off. If that’s what happens, you haven’t lost anything if you were trying to find a way out of the chat anyway 🤷‍♀️

RainbowZebraWarrior · 16/06/2024 16:38

SmellsLikeMiddleAgeSpirit · 16/06/2024 16:34

Yep, she’s a tedious, self obsessed bore.
You will not be the only one thinking so.

Agree with this.

Love your user name!

Bettedaviseyes111 · 16/06/2024 16:40

Natalie sounds like an attention seeking berk. What a bizarre thing to do.

I would perhaps message to say I’m really glad you are looking so well but I don’t really need to see you in your pants all the time.

Boreoffwithyournakedpics · 16/06/2024 16:42

TheCheeseThief · 16/06/2024 16:30

I'd just ignore her and make conversation about something else a few times she'll get the hint.

She's not getting the hint. To be fair the others might not mind, she still gets a couple of compliments. Sometimes she posts a photo in revealing clothes with some really flimsy 'reason' for posting eg. are the trousers too short.

She was out last night and the other wives were glaring at her apparently.

I don't want to leave the group, I have made nice friendships there. I haven't seen her in person for years as I've missed the events that she attended. But I previously thought she was great.

Now I want to tell her to f* off with her self obsession.

OP posts:
toomanytonotice · 16/06/2024 16:42

Can’t you block or mute only her so you can follow all the other stuff?

Johnhasalongmoustache · 16/06/2024 16:43

Why not just leave the group?

Boreoffwithyournakedpics · 16/06/2024 16:43

toomanytonotice · 16/06/2024 16:42

Can’t you block or mute only her so you can follow all the other stuff?

Oh! I didn't realise I could do this - thank you!

OP posts:
Boreoffwithyournakedpics · 16/06/2024 16:44

Johnhasalongmoustache · 16/06/2024 16:43

Why not just leave the group?

I like(d) the group

OP posts:
ThunderQween · 16/06/2024 16:46

Bettedaviseyes111 · 16/06/2024 16:40

Natalie sounds like an attention seeking berk. What a bizarre thing to do.

I would perhaps message to say I’m really glad you are looking so well but I don’t really need to see you in your pants all the time.

Tell her it's causing issues between you and your partner

Crepester · 16/06/2024 16:46

I would just continue to ignore her, the ones who aren’t annoyed yet will get bored of her eventually and then they’ll stop the compliments. She’s sending the pictures because she’s getting positive comments! If she just got met with radio silence by everyone she’d soon feel silly and stop sending them.

AltitudeCheck · 16/06/2024 16:50

Some people get hooked on the validation/ dopamine hit they get from likes/ comments.

Can you respond with a yawn emoji / groundhog day meme / and see if she gets the hint?

BriocheForBreakfast · 16/06/2024 16:54

Have you tried making a joke about it? 'Jeez do we have to see another photo of your undies?? 🙄😂'

YANBU by the way. She sounds tedious.

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 16/06/2024 16:57

What a bellend

rookiemere · 16/06/2024 16:59

Lillers · 16/06/2024 16:34

If you want to remain in the group and say something tactful to get her to realise that what she’s doing is annoying, maybe next time she sends a photo say something like, “Have you thought about starting a fitness Instagram account? I’m sure there would be followers who’d be really interested in your progress! I’m not sure any of us can really relate very well.”

Might work, might piss her off. If that’s what happens, you haven’t lost anything if you were trying to find a way out of the chat anyway 🤷‍♀️

I think this is a good way to handle it.
I would be totally annoyed if someone started acting like that in one of my whatsapp groups.

Johnhasalongmoustache · 16/06/2024 17:00

Hmm.

tricky isn’t it. I have the opinion that everyone feels the same as you or are you too scared to ask? Sorry should read the thread.

ThinWomansBrain · 16/06/2024 17:03

next time she posts, why not suggest she keeps the underwear selfies for her only fans site?

I think Nathalie posts on here too - it's the woman that's planning to wear the see through dress/net curtain to an upmarket ball.