WhatsApp group being ruined by underwear pics

[Boreoffwithyournakedpics]

I don't really know if I'm overreacting here.

I'm in a WhatsApp group with some mums originally from reception. Our kids are teens now. We are loose friends for years, have a night out about twice a year and a summer get together with the DC. These gatherings usually have about half the group there so while we keep up-to-date with the chatting on the group it's not unusual to not see a person in person for a few years.

One of the women, Natalie recently got into fitness working out with a PT twice a week. She was slim already. A few months ago she went to her school reunion and shared that she was nervous. She posted a photo of herself about to go out and we all told her she looked gorgeous - she did! Later she said some of the women were unfriendly and we all joked that they were jealous of her. She then made some nasty remarks about them being very fat and old looking now. It was a bit weird but the conversation moved on.

Some of the women in our group are struggling with their self esteem and upset about their weight. I don't know why as I only ever see them looking great but this is what they have shared.

Natalie, possibly spurred on by our compliments is constantly posting photos of herself. What started with outfits is now underwear shots every few days referring to her thighs, snatched waist or whatever.

I personally am delighted for anyone working on their fitness and feeling good about themselves (I'm in that camp) but the relentless photos and self congratulating are really peeing me off. It's not a group about fitness, nobody else is sharing progress photos and frankly it's bloody annoying.

It's gotten to the point I have muted the group and rarely post. I am holding myself back from making a caustic remark.

Yabu : she can do what she wants and is possibly inspiring the others
Yanbu : what a tedious bore - tell her to get a grip.

What a bellend

Yes, just reply to the next pic with 🔔🔚. Now some people are thick so she may not get it but at least you’ve tried.

Ha! Be happy it is only on WhatsApp, my colleague, her words, "had an awful evening on New year's eve because all the men wanted to fuck her, and all the wives were jealous!" I have to listen to this shite all the bloody time 🤮

Someone should tell before things get worse

You don’t need to block the group, just her

@Lillers has it spot on I think. Polite and pointed at the same time.

I’d try and make a joke of it, like “ok, ok, enough with the pics, you’re making me feel bad about my lack of exercise now!”

With any luck some of the others will chip in and she’ll take the hint.

If that doesn’t work then when she next posts a pic don’t respond but instead post about something completely unrelated. If she isn’t getting attention/validation then that might also encourage her to stop.

Jokes is a good idea

“not you in your undwecrackers again m8!”

Perhaps we can help you find the perfect response that you are happy to post.

I've seen enough of your fanny nat! No more!

You ok Hun? You keep sending us photos of yourself in your pants, maybe save it for you oh/only fans.

Tbh she doesn't sound like a nice person at all. Are you close with anyone else in the group you could message individually and become friends with. Meet up and maybe sigh and say 'its a shame about the Watsap group, I muted it because of all the soft porn, wish I could have been more direct'. She what she says. You could stratigise together.

I guarantee you she is pissing off a lot of other people! People are just to polite and want to avoid a fallout.

I would ignore, and hopefully if everybody else does, she will stop eventually.

I applaud her achievements, but that's what instagram and social media are for, not a parent whatsapp group.

Start posting pictures titled

Lovely sunny day, just in the garden with a glass of wine, olives, peanuts...

Actually that could sound healthy don't do that!

Go direct - Natalie, put some clothes on. We've seen it all now!
With a 🤣 for good measure.

I have actually said it to a couple of the others when we met up in person. They both agreed immediately that it was annoying but moreso quite sad and said they don't think she has a lot going on in her life. Then we changed the subject. It's a non bitchy group and I don't want to change that.

Set up a group with everyone other than her and get on with your lives on there?

‘Oi slim gym quit it with the body best pics your making me feel shit here 😂😂’

That should do the trick

This might sound petty but I don't want to post something saying she's making me feel bad for not exercising - everyone would know this is a lie. I exercise more than anyone. I'm not into comparisons, self deprecation and don't want to do it under the guise of humour.

I do think it's insensitive to the women in the group really struggling with their self image and the nasty remarks about fat women are unacceptable.

Just ignore her. If other people keep giving her attention there's nothing you can do about that. It is sad though if the group has nothing to do with that. It's really begging for attention.

I’d tell her that if she’s struggling financially and can’t afford clothes, you’d gladly let her have some stuff you don’t wear any longer.

That or a yawn emoji.

Nor into self deprecation?

so start posting your own 🙄

What about a tweak on the original suggestion above (which I thought was great)?

'Natalie, your photos are great but some of them aren't really appropriate for this group. Have you thought about starting a fitness Instagram account? I’m sure there would be followers who’d be really interested in your progress!'

Don’t use the word appropriate

makes it sound like Natalie is flashing her minge

If you say anything - however gently or jokingly - I'm willing to bet that she'll put it down to your being 'jealous'... and then gossip about you to others.

Best to just mute her, I reckon!

Just say another lovely picture each time, and move on to another topic. I agree that she may have some problems in her life to be doing this in a group of women acquaintances. Let her have her few seconds of glory and move on. Or say watch out or I'll post an underwear picture of me and you really wouldn't like that! Better yet get all the women to post pictures like the women's institute calendar film.

Reply, "Looking really good Nathalie, you've made progress, can't wait to see you when you've met your weight loss goal."

Just message on the group saying … oh no (insert her name) all my photos go directly onto our family iPad in the kitchen and your underwear photos keep appearing 🤣

Don’t say “lovely pic” or comment on it at all. If she’s so self absorbed to share those pics then she’ll take your comments at face value.

She doesn’t sound lovely, I’d say something more like the suggestions above about Instagram etc.

Post this next time she does it