My boring family and I

[Ohwowhowutterlyexciting]

Did anyone get to a certain age or when your child was a certain age (if you have kids) of feeling trapped and bored?
I had Dd later in life due to infertility, so I’d lived a lot (not sure if that makes things easier or harder)
Having her was a shock to the system, but I embraced it all completely and hard as it was at times, I loved being a mum and everything that went along with it-soft play, playgrounds, play dates, crafts and so on.
Dd is 6 now and I’m starting to feel very trapped and quite depressed watching others social media (I’ve not really been like this before)
Dd doesn’t like to go out much recently and just wants her friends to come to play, which they do every weekend. Dh generally just wants to *Chill at home at weekends and falls asleep in the afternoon.
I just feel so trapped, sat in the house on a beautiful sunny day (live abroad) seeing everyone else out at the beach or pool and no one wants to do anything. The only way I can escape is to go to the shop or take the dog for a walk.
Is anyone else’s family like this or does anyone feel like this? I feel like I’ve been fine with lovely play dates with friends and embracing being a mum and now i’m missing my old life of no responsibilities and being drunk and going to festivals and travelling.
I realise I sound so selfish, but is this it now?
Im 45 so maybe it’s peri?
Feel like life is passing me by

i don’t relate to this and 44

you don’t mention
work
friends
exercise
interests

is there anything stopping you taking your daughter to the beach?

Feel like life is passing me by

what if anything are you doing to change that?

@summeronion Work is work 🤷🏻‍♀️it pays some bills

Friends are brilliant, but it’s mainly meet ups with the kids, some lunches/nights out but quite rare with us all having young kids.

Exercise-walking the dog, no time to do anything else

Interests -As above…when would that happen 🤷🏻‍♀️

are you really calling your DD and DH boring?

you work full time?

@summeronion Thats what I’m saying, she doesn’t want to at the moment, doesn’t want to do much, only for her friends on the street to come to play, then she goes to their house for a bit, she’s happy doing this

@summeronion I feel we’ve become boring-Dh and I, obviously Dd isn’t

because your DD and DH obviously have busy lives during the week and want to chill out over the weekends

you don’t and then blame them for not giving you an exciting weekend

a 6 year old

@summeronion Ok, thanks

We all have busy lives, I’m not blaming my 6 year old..look, never mind.

I am 44 and I can relate to some of what you’re saying although my children are younger. I think when they are under 4 so much effort and attention is needed so that when you’re past that stage it possibly feels a bit flat?

Leave your Dd in the care of your DH, grab your cozzie and head to the pool with a friend?

Basically own it OP

if you want to do stuff at the weekends, do it.

Your DH is happy at home with his DD who is also happy at home…. so you pursue something

Ok so what happens if you get up in a Saturday and say to DD "right, We're off to the beach today. Get your stuff". ?
What happens if you say to DH, "I've booked the cinema or bowling for all three of us tonight" ?

But you can do things, you can go off nd do stuff, your husband can do the child care. Don’t blame them for your inactivity/

I have a 6 year old DS and a 2 year old as well. Would your DD really not enjoy a day at the beach? Mine enjoy it once they are out, or days at the zoo, farm parks etc.

Find something that you would enjoy. For me that is Pilates, once a week in the evening and a run on another day/s. My DH goes to taekwondo once or twice a week but takes DS along on a Sunday where they both do taekwondo. Is there a hobby you and DD can do together?

I try to plan one “thing” per weekend to make sure we get out of the house, sometimes it’s a trip out as in a day trip but often it’s something smaller.

I also have an allotment, is gardening a hobby you could get into? It doesn’t have a fixed timetable then.

@Roseyjane He’d likely be pissed off I was leaving him to do all the childcare

But you donhave time to do stuff. You don't have to let dd have play dates every weekend but if you do then you can leave dh as the responsible adult and go to the gym or something?

Are yu actually just lonely in your relationship?

@SleepingStandingUp I do that all the time, I feel so excited for the weekend, then it’s so flat. Dd will say she doesn’t want to and wants X to come over to play in the garden etc

Well let him. He signed up to be a parent. He does Saturday, you do Sunday and swap the next weekend.

When you look back at this time when dd is 20 you'll miss it I think family life can be quite repetitive but I also think once a month as a family you should get out and do something. Book in friends for a booze filled afternoon. You need to make time for you, and your family need to support your interests just as you support there's.

Plus I know I get to the weekend and say I don't want to leave the house, but if I've planned or booked it in advance I force myself to go and always enjoy myself. So that might help you partner and child.

@catsandkittensandcats Yes., it could be a bit of that too

Leave DH and DD to chill at home and take yourself off out to do whatever you please - swimming, shopping, coffee with friends, walking (with or without the dog) or joining a club.

Sounds like bliss to me.

Why are you letting her dictate what you do as a family? You decide what to do and kid comes along too,like it or lump it. Sure let her have friends over but not at the expense of everything else.

@Topseyt123 If only!