To think it's not right that DD(19) has a 61 year old mum

[LornaDuh]

Don't know why it's just hit me at 10.45 on a Saturday night in June.

Just feels weird that a girl not yet out of her teens has a mum over 60!

My brother will be 61 when my nephew is 19. It does seem a bit old to me, but then my children will be 34 and 39 by the time I'm 61 (I did have them on the young side)

I had my DS at 27 and at the time I remember being happy at the prospect of seeing more of his life than I otherwise would have, but honestly it was too young. I wish I had waited longer. All this to say, there's pros and cons to every age.

I’ll be 64 when my daughter is 19. Most of my friends had children between the ages of 39 and 44, not through choice I hasten to add. So defo YABU.

When I hear something is “not right” I think “so how are you going to fix it?” Obviously there is no fix on this situation. It’s just the way things are. It’s unusual, but right and wrong hardly enter into the case.

Well I was 43 when I had my DD, who is 20 now. DH same age too. And my Mum was 46 when she had me but I think it's much easier to be an 'older' Mum these days. I mean, my Mum looked 66 when I was 20, shampoo and set brigade 😄. But I still look young (I think) and have a great positive outlook. I've had a few friends not even make 50, so I feel blessed. Embrace it.

Yeah, YABU :-)

when my son is 19 I’ll be a a couple of years off 60. Couldn’t care less tbh! I have friends who will also be slightly older than me. I think we all chose to have our kids when we did.

I think it definitely more common for parents to be older these days,

I was 44 when I had our IVF twins. They are now 16 - just taken GCSE's and I am 60 - Aargh!! I hate being so ancient but am actually (touch wood) fit and well and DH is 5 years younger, we all have lots of fun together! Plus my previous work final salary pension just kicked in as well as income from my current PT job. We are financially much better placed than a lot of younger couples so I think it's swings and roundabouts.

Sadly lost my DM in her 50s due to cancer. She had her children at a more 'normal' age and I was still bereaved young. None of us have a crystal ball.....

My parents were older when they had me, and I was 30 when my elder son was born. Not quite your age, but within earshot of it! It was never a problem, and is far more common these days. You won't be the only "older" mom she knows, by a long shot.

Well, sorry if the comment offended you, but to be honest, that whole discussion did start because you decided to make some rather judgmental-sounding comments about people who become mothers later than average. I mean, don't dish it out if you can't take it.

Me and my mum shared our 21st and 60th together. I think she often felt embarrassed being an older mum especially when I was a teen, as young mums were really common where I grew up. She was just the nicest most patient mum though and put everything she had into raising me

I mean...she's the mum. It has everything to do with her....

No, it isn't. What difference does the other woman's age make? Absolutely nothing to do with the daughter's mum.

Have you understood the thread?

OP was feeling like she was "too old" when writing down their ages and compared to her daughter's boyfriends mum, who is much younger. It's about how OP feels. So it's everything to do with her.

For clarity. OP is 61. Her daughter is 19. She was feeling a bit weird about it so started a thread and is now ok again. She's also not too old. Just to make my stance clear.

Don't think it's that unusual nowadays.
My son and daughter are 18 and 15 and I'm 59, never been a problem, although sometimes got mistook for a grandparent when they were younger 😂

🤣🤣🤣 yeah who on earth gives a shit about their own children

I am 46 with ds1 who is 22 and ds2 who is 4 years old ! Looks like I’ll be classed as old when Ds2 is 19 ! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

My parents were in their 40s when they had me. My school friends didn't believe they were in their 50s when I was at secondary so I just made them 10 years younger, I guess to fit in more.
Other than that, I personally never had an issue with it, other than the sad fact that they weren't around for as long as I would have liked, dad died when I was 31 and mum when I was 41. Having said that, I know a lot of people who lost their parents much younger, and I am just happy and grateful for the time we did have.

51 is really young to have a 16 year old grandchild! They were 35 when they became grandparents?!?! 😳

I'll be 61 when my daughter turns 19.

In recent years, it's become quite common for people to have children later in life. Factors such as career ambitions, financial stability, the desire to enjoy life, travel, and delayed marriages all contribute to this trend.

In contrast, the older generation approached family planning differently. In the 1970s, most young women had children by the age of 21. Today, fewer teenagers and women in their early 20s are becoming mothers. However, the number of babies born to women aged 40 and older has seen a significant increase. From 2021 to 2022, births among women aged 40 to 44 rose by 6%, and among those over 45, the increase was 12%.

The advent of the birth control pill revolutionised women's control over their fertility, leading to significant changes in family planning. Moreover, having multiple children was more affordable in the past. Nowadays, the cost of childcare has become prohibitively expensive.

It's a generational shift. Nowadays, it's quite unusual to see people in their 40s as grandparents. Teen pregnancies are generally frowned upon.

Well, I'm 43 and was talking to someone about how my oldest will be 18 in a few months, and then was like - hang on having an almost adult child makes me sound old !!
Meanwhile a women I work with who I always assumed was in her 40's due to having young children, turns out to be in her 50's! So on the plus side you probably sound all youthful to people when you say things like "my teenage daughter.."

How old were your parents when you were bullied in school?

How old are the elderly parents?
What you've described sounds like most typical families.

This. Go you!

For now... Data shows as of 2020, the majority of the UK population will live until 100.