To resign over a wedding?

[dancingrainbows]

It seems a bit crazy, but I work as a teacher.

A close relative has decided to get married on a Monday and I work Mondays. My school does not allow time off (even unpaid) for events like this at all, it just isn’t permitted.

My options are

1. Lie - my worry with this is that if I am ‘caught’ the repercussions are serious.
2. Resign. If I handed my notice in now I could leave at Christmas.

i don’t actually think I’d have a problem getting a new teaching job but I am currently part time and don’t want to lose this - it’s rare PT posts are advertised - and also getting settled in again somewhere is a pain. It’s a WWYD really. By the way I know not all schools are as inflexible as my current one but it really is.

It doesn’t have to become standard practice. It’s called flexibility.

Are pupils and their families shown flexibility in the State Sector? If you choose a career with enourmous holiday time then don't moan when you are reasonably asked to take annual leave in this time!

I wouldn’t go. It’s a Monday wedding so they should understand.
With teaching you have to mind your reputation and to leave a job over a wedding won’t help.

What we have at the moment is absolute flexibility one way, i.e. they wanted me to come in on days I don’t work for them. Guess what? I don’t work for them anymore. The pay is awful (FE) and their expectation v my reward was way out of whack. That’s how we lose teachers.

@Chenecinquantecinq what about funerals, serious illness in the family etc.? People often aren't considerate enough to plan those for the summer holidays.

It’s not about just a wedding though. It’s about your employer having such control over your life that you can’t even take a day off for a bloody wedding.

What happens when your kids graduate, or your grandchild is born and your daughter wants you there, etc etc etc.

A wedding is a big deal, if they won’t even let you have a day off for that, it’s not worth it

As the OP says, all LAs are not as inflexible as this. In mine, you can ask for a day off for a family wedding (so long as it's not your own). I think it's usually given as unpaid leave.

It's a wedding not compassionate leave very different scenarios!

Go sick. If the wedding is far away, likely
No one will find out. If they do, then resign (if you don't mind losing your job)
Madness imo but if you really can't miss it ...

Exactly. I know teaching has changed since I left, but it's hardly unusual for teachers not to be able to take time off.

Just go for the evening if that's an option.

Wow we wonder why the state of education in this country is so dire!! If I met a teacher at a wedding on a Monday it would be pretty obvious they were skiving and pretty obvious they are in the wrong career!!!

My LA allows 5 days compassionate leave a year max. Used to be that you got a fortnight if you had a funeral to organise. I discovered when Dad died that they'd cut that.

When my husband's health deteriorated, I muddled along for a few years. Then asked for a 4 day week. Did that for a year. Asked for a job-share (which I'd already requested before going down to 4 days). Refused, so I resigned.

I've had 6 replacements in 6 years. (I was in middle-management.)

OP isn't ASKING to take annual leave though. She would be happy with unpaid leave, or swapping with her job-share partner, or any other reasonable alternative.

I would also be willing to bet (because every teacher I know does) that OP works during her AL/on weekends/during the evenings. Most schools expect this as standard because the work couldn't get done otherwise. So a little leeway in the other direction would be nice

@Chenecinquantecinq not at all. Inflexible policies are inflexible.

And tbh, when heads expect staff to pick up a random class at the drop of a hat, attend /supervise / organise weekend events, work as many extra hours as needed to tick AAAAALL the boxes, do trips outside school hours (including overnight) at no extra pay, run clubs after school at no extra pay and so on, they can bloody give their staff a day off for a joyful occasion as well, not just misery.

Schools are ran on good will. Good will must work both ways if schools want to retain staff .

Just call in sick, they'll manage.

@Chenecinquantecinq did you miss the bit where I said it was madness but the OP does seem determined to go.

Most jobs require extra input and hours unpaid. This is not unusual or unreasonable. I do wonder how some would survive in the real world!

yes but OP has said that they are equally as uncompromising in all other scenarios, don't even let staff attend hospital appointments, etc. Which is relevant in terms of the wider picture regarding if it is feasible/desirable to stay in such a job long term, and, if not, why not start applying for a new one now?

Wow we wonder why the state of education in this country is so dire!! If I met a teacher at a wedding on a Monday it would be pretty obvious they were skiving and pretty obvious they are in the wrong career!!!

We had 3 teachers off (2 full day, one afternoon) to attend the Wednesday wedding of an ex colleague (and really good friend tbh) . With permission. We didn't mind picking up the slack as we know we'd be awarded the same flexibility if/when needed. We actually work a lot unpaid because we are valued,recognised and acknowledged and we know it evens out when we need it. It works , people are always enquiring if there are any positions coming up and people rarely leave(normally retirement or moving too far away).

There's a reason OP's school is struggling to recruit.

I would be horrified if I found out someone had left their job in order to attend my wedding! I personally wouldn’t take a job with that level of inflexibility either though.

Teacher bashing - standard Mumsnet response!

This.

If my family didn’t understand k couldn’t attend a wedding because I’d lose my job if I lied, I’d be looking for a new family, not a new job tbh. This whole thing is utterly ridiculous.

Who suffers the pupils. Absolute state of a lot of you on here! Honestly how you went into the teaching profession is beyond me. The problem with education is the quality of teaching staff and their attitudes! Wow just wow you are all justifying this.