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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

479 replies

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 21:33

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 14/06/2024 22:42

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

That sounds lovely. Enjoy.

WayOutOfLine · 14/06/2024 22:43

Good to hear he responded well, that's a good sign and I hope you have a great time.

mondaytosunday · 14/06/2024 22:47

I'm would have just picked a place myself and told him where. It is a bit odd the way he has done it.

SharpAzureMaker · 14/06/2024 22:47

Lovely outcome! :-)

RedYellowPinkGreenPurpleOrangeBlue · 14/06/2024 22:48

@Dontgetdebtpet

All this, book a table and tell me what time our reservation starts is a bit lady Jane, no?

Who's 'Lady Jane No?'

@Lilifer Glad you managed to sort it out with this guy. All the best. Hope it works out...

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/06/2024 22:55

Dontgetdebtpet · 14/06/2024 21:51

Suggesting a restaurant for a first date is a bit presumptive, and you might be setting a ££££ tone that he is not comfortable with. Restaurants are for third dates, birthdays and special occasions surely. You should have suggested coffee or meeting in a cafe. All this, book a table and tell me what time our reservation starts is a bit lady Jane, no?

FFS. Your reading and comprehension skills are rubbish!

Towelin · 14/06/2024 22:55

Aww, I think he sounds quite sweet from that follow up message. Like he was panicking about getting it right, and going round in circles until a gentle nudge from you!

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/06/2024 22:57

I can't wait to see how this goes! That poor guy seemed blindsided by the fact that he didn't know the city but had to choose a restaurant to go to. I really hope it goes well.

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 22:57

Thanks all 🙏 first date in around 30 years, will report back x

OP posts:
MoleAndBadger · 14/06/2024 22:59

It sounds like a lovely venue for a first date. The afternoon tea looks amazing.

I think he sounds like a gentleman who simply hasn't dated for a number of years. I really hope it goes well.

spicysamosahotcupoftea · 14/06/2024 23:00

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

Awww cute! Glad you texted and glad you got the response you did.

Eagerly awaiting an update after your date tomorrow ☺️

EatCrow · 14/06/2024 23:03

Mydahliasareshit · 14/06/2024 21:43

Anyone else think OP will get all the way there and he'll be in Wetherspoons?

Hah! I’d definitely be concerned about going to the effort, getting there only for him to text that he’s not well. I’d prefer something more definite.

edit, oops, sorry - should have rtwt.

Whatwouldnanado · 14/06/2024 23:06

Hope it goes well!

SurelySmartie · 14/06/2024 23:06

So now is 3pm and at a hotel.

Mmm.

EatCrow · 14/06/2024 23:08

Good luck OP!

xylene · 14/06/2024 23:10

Aww this is great as the original post he sounded like he was messing about but he has come good.
Hope it works out. Awaiting the update :)

MoleAndBadger · 14/06/2024 23:12

Right, what is everyone up to tomorrow at 3pm? I don't live anywhere near the venue but I'm always up for a roadtrip.

Who fancies a posh afternoon tea? We can eat scones and cucumber sandwiches whilst looking over our menus at Lilifer and her chap 😁🫣

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 23:24

MoleAndBadger · 14/06/2024 23:12

Right, what is everyone up to tomorrow at 3pm? I don't live anywhere near the venue but I'm always up for a roadtrip.

Who fancies a posh afternoon tea? We can eat scones and cucumber sandwiches whilst looking over our menus at Lilifer and her chap 😁🫣

😱😂😂😂 right I'm texting him now to change the venue to an alternative 🫣🙈😂

OP posts:
PCcrisps · 14/06/2024 23:27

I've got this exact arrangement with a friend tomorrow. We're travelling to a city from opposite directions. His train in due in a bit before mine so he's going to find a pub near the station I'll be arriving at and let me know where to meet him.

This is a very old friend though. Not sure I'd be impressed for a first date, but I can understand someone who doesn't know the city thinking they'll go and find somewhere rather than Googling.

Guavafish1 · 14/06/2024 23:30

I think you need relax.

If you message him that you'll arrive at 2pm. You can have a look in the shops whilst your waiting.

Worse cause senerio he doesn't turn up then you can go shopping or get lunch yourself.

RedYellowPinkGreenPurpleOrangeBlue · 14/06/2024 23:30

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 23:24

😱😂😂😂 right I'm texting him now to change the venue to an alternative 🫣🙈😂

Your post with the info on has been deleted now @Lilifer So you're safe! Hopefully no-one is batshit enough to have written it down and saved it. Anyway, there will be loads of people there surely, so who's going to know it's you?

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 23:38

"Your post with the info on has been deleted now @Lilifer So you're safe! Hopefully no-one is batshit enough to have written it down and saved it. Anyway, there will be loads of people there surely, so who's going to know it's you?"

😂😂 true, though that would make for some drama, definitely a memorable first date for all the wrong reasons 😅

OP posts:
rewilded · 14/06/2024 23:51

I would still park somewhere different.

RedYellowPinkGreenPurpleOrangeBlue · 15/06/2024 00:02

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 23:38

"Your post with the info on has been deleted now @Lilifer So you're safe! Hopefully no-one is batshit enough to have written it down and saved it. Anyway, there will be loads of people there surely, so who's going to know it's you?"

😂😂 true, though that would make for some drama, definitely a memorable first date for all the wrong reasons 😅

😆 Well, do enjoy yourself, and let us know how it goes! Smile

FritataPatate · 15/06/2024 01:02

So what did he say? (Redact any outing details)Smile