First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

[Lilifer]

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

@decionsdecisions62 @Frasers @Jb2182
I don’t understand why you have posted without reading the thread?

I like a definite plan when I am meeting up.
We are a bit restricted here - if you don't book, you have little chance of getting a table.
Going from place to place and being turned down is horrible.

I met my husband of 20 years through a dating agency. I went on lots of dates with other people before meeting him. The agency didn't use photos so all I had was a short description of him. My advice to anyone meeting a blind date for the first time would be to absolutely meet somewhere public like a Wetherspoons for a coffee and no expectation of anything more. Wetherspoons do the 'ask for Angela at the bar' safety thing too. So I absolutely wouldn't stick my nose up at it.In my experience you know within 10 seconds of meeting whether you find someone attractive. Some people grow on you over a date but ,realistically, a lot are a no from the start. If you really click you can go on somewhere else for a nicer ambiance than a 'Spoons' . If you don't it's coffee and goodbye.

If this is the case it suggests that he doesn't really understand how to organise to have luck with someone in a busy area.

I'd expect him to ask me if I had any preferences. Not give up on him just yet but it's not looking good is it.

Send that message upthread and see where we go from there.

Why don't you suggest somewhere instead?

Totally missing the point of the thread here BUT… am I the only one who thinks 14:00 is really late for lunch?! 😆

Absolutely this

This.

Cancel the meeting.

Maybe on Tinder but not after paying a fortune for a dating agency surely. Why commit to doing things properly then act like an online fuck boy?

Anyway, I'm sad I missed the restaurant recommendation but hope it goes well OP!!

No, but DP is from somewhere they eat super late so I'm used to it. My natural inclination is 1200 on the dot!!

Good luck, op. Have fun.

@borntobequiet @Bacardi101 @Bouledeneige @FinallyHere
Why post if you haven’t read the thread?!!

Have a lovely time!

With all this flummery and kerfufflery, I'd definitely only be going for a coffee, now.

It's wierd to ask where you're parking

I absolutely agreed but have experienced this where it came from a really good place of wanting to fit in with my plans and make convenient arrangements.

From someone who is very organised and genuinely turns out to decide where to go according to the parking opportunities, or travel arrangements generally.

It took a good few goes to explain that since I was already travelling quite a distance, I really didn't want to include where I parked as a constraint. Once they got that, it was all good and the sort of thing we laugh about now.

So tricky in the early days to distinguish charming eccentricities from irritating habits. I suppose that's what makes it the 'honeymoon' period.

Because if you want to quote a post, then it's either post first go or bookmark that post to come back to. Some threads I'm prepared to read all the way through before posting, other times not.

I rely on the kindness of strangers to scroll on by if my post has become irrelevant.

Why are you bothered?

Anyway, my opinion hasn’t changed. He sounds like a waste of time.

This is my understanding, I thought the old school agencies offer a bespoke service where applicants are interviewed and vetted before being 'matched' with other vetted people.

It's wierd to ask where you're parking

weirder to spell weird like that but…..

if it’s somewhere like Cardiff, which has a John Lewis in a shopping centre with a car park underneath as OP described, you’d want to know which end of town to park. It’s barely stopped raining since November and you wouldn’t want to be trekking across town in it for a date.

I hope it goes well for you. I found dating after a long marriage hard. Good luck!

He wants to know what you drive/what your registration number is. Then he can follow you. Park somewhere different/take public transport.

What the heck she’s parking in a massive multi storey, he doesn’t know what she drives, never mind when she’s arriving, give over.

@Lilifer I hope the date was enjoyable!

my advice, and I’m certainly no dating guru, is you can go two ways: have a bunch of tests and expectations a date must pass or cancel; or count a date as an afternoon out and at worst a good story of it goes badly (I’m not talking badly as in featuring on a future true crime … but everyday badly).

To me the second is more fun. A coffee as a first date is a great idea, but I can see why after driving an hour to meet you he’s wanting more than a 15-minute meetup. Lunch at 2pm isn’t a good time to pick, unless late lunches are typical in your area (where I am you’d be looking at fast food to get lunch that late). Maybe in future go for 1pm to make it easier to find places.

It sounded to me like you had rules for what your date should do, but initially didn’t share them. Be careful of judging someone on hidden rules - I’m not taking things like isn’t racist, doesn’t bash exes etc. But have booked and shared booking x days in advance, it’s not actually telling you about whether they’re worth getting to know. Also - if being carefully planned out is super important be willing to suggest somewhere yourself.

Only reading this thread now. I hope you have a great time :)

@borntobequiet if you had read the thread you would have found out that he is by far a waste of time, he is thoughtful and OP is really looking forward to seeing him now.