First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

[Lilifer]

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

What? No. I asked because K also works abroad for half of the year, lives rurally, and the city where they met would be his nearest city. Absolutely nothing at all to do with how the date was arranged. ETA we were hardly talking about the "entire world" either, the population of NI is very small!!!

@Lilifer glad to hear he isn't K, he's my friend's abusive ex, so that's a relief!!

@ReadingSoManyThreads funnily enough I do know a man whose name begins with K who fits that description perfectly, and I'm glad to say that I would not touch that man with a barge pole 🤔

NI is small, it's entirely possibly your K and my K are the same man 🙈

Could indeed, small world, the prick 😂🤗

@PUGMEISTER21

Reply with "great, just let me know which restaurant we are meeting in and i will see you there at 2"

Why would she do this after the date has happened?

Even if you don't read the updates, she said in the first post when the date was.

I would pull out. He's trying to have all the power over your meeting him. What if he turns up in his car and says I know a good place for lunch 5 miles away? If you are put off balance because you haven't got a planned venue for lunch, it puts you at a disadvantage.

I would ask the agency to get him to make firm plans or your not meeting him.

Good luck OP.

If OP could time travel cancelling the date may be possible today but it’s not 😌

If you read the updates or even the OP properly you’ll know the date was on Saturday. She did go and it went well.

One wonders worn these agencies whether they give more detailed feedback to people to try and make them better for date 2.

Like they would with a property you were selling.

I mean on the one hand it would be horrible to get more than "no spark" but if it was actually constructive -don't ask them where they will park as it MAY give off stalker vibes. Or "be decisive about dates and not vague" that would be helpful.

Obviously within reason. You can't fix shortness (unless you are lying about it) and good to be upfront about working away most of the time (suits sone couples)

Yes I was thinking the same, you’d think an old fashioned agency would but a bit more work into finding someone with the same interests and long term plans. That’s what you pay for!

Hi John, let’s meet at this restaurant at 2 to save any confusion. See you there.

depending on how he responds to this, I would make a decision either to go or not to go but like someone else said, don’t park where you said you were going to park as this all sounds very strange

How did it go?

Is this a joke now? Are you all actually trolling? 😂
OP, have you thought of joining a dating agency?

Cancel the cheque

😂😂😂

Stop! Its so funny now, I guess people see the post but don't notice the date and assume its a same day post

Will you supply the Time Machine?

Or

OP, have you thought about asking for advice on Mumsnet?

OP do they make any guarantees as to how many men they will set you up with so as to keep you in the game, or do they focus on quality over quantity in terms of compatibility with no minimum? If you ever felt so inclined, I think an AMA on this would go down a storm!

Well I am on the "basic" package so I get a guaranteed 4 introductions in a 12 month period, the more you pay the more intros and other frills that you get.

But yes quality over quantity as 4 intros probs sounds very light but I would rather have 4 intros that were selected carefully rather than lots of intros to men who were totally incompatible with me.

"OP, have you thought about asking for advice on Mumsnet?"

🤣🤣🤣

"Will you supply the Time Machine?"

Maybe I should pull the thread at this stage, I'm gonna keep getting advice right up till my next intro at this stage! 😅

🤣🤣 yes I realised after I posted that this would be absolutely no help whatsoever! I hope she got on ok

So funny!
Glad you’d a lovely time, a good start back into dating. What’d you wear in the end?
All in here, if another match comes up we’ll be your support system - nothing ventured nothing gained!
Will be watching out for another thread 😉

Aw thanks! Watch this space for the Sequel to Adventures in Dating 🤩

Can I ask what these men do that mean they work abroad half the year? Is this a NI thing? I’ve met people who live and work abroad because their job is based abroad 100% of the year and people who travel abroad a lot for work throughout the year but I’m baffled by what they could be doing that only requires them for half the year!

Aw Lilifer your thread has been lovely to read and you’ve been so good natured about it all! It’s really put a smile on my face and I’m so looking forward to the sequel.