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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

479 replies

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 21:33

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

OP posts:
TravelInsuranceQ · 15/06/2024 20:25

Gemmy96 · 15/06/2024 20:22

There are nine pages of comments. I'm not reading all that

Just read the ones from the OP then, it's very very simple - just click on "See all"
Happy to help.....

AnneKipankitoo · 15/06/2024 20:25

Afternoon tea has lasted a loooong time!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 15/06/2024 20:26

@Gemmy96, or, if you're on the mobile app, you click on the funnel by the OP's first post and that way you also get to see all the posts from the OP but no-one else's.

FunZebra · 15/06/2024 20:28

RedYellowPinkGreenPurpleOrangeBlue · 15/06/2024 13:05

LOL exactly! 2pm to 3pm is 'breakfast.' Some people say the daftest things! 😆

It's like the posters who say it's fine for someone to mow their lawn or trim their hedges at 7.45am, and it's 'not that early' and THEY are up at 5.45am every day, which is a 'perfectly normal time to get up for most people.' 😆

Breakfast literally meaning to break your (overnight) fast: first meal of the day. I have mine after 2pm. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AthenaBasil · 15/06/2024 20:28

F

Gemmy96 · 15/06/2024 20:29

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 15/06/2024 20:26

@Gemmy96, or, if you're on the mobile app, you click on the funnel by the OP's first post and that way you also get to see all the posts from the OP but no-one else's.

Thank you! :)

Custardcreamandcoffee · 15/06/2024 20:35

F

Ooral · 15/06/2024 20:39

AnneKipankitoo · 15/06/2024 20:25

Afternoon tea has lasted a loooong time!

;)

NewHome24 · 15/06/2024 20:43

Hope it’s going well

itsmylife7 · 15/06/2024 20:47

AnneKipankitoo · 15/06/2024 20:25

Afternoon tea has lasted a loooong time!

exactly my thoughts 😀

Notamum12345577 · 15/06/2024 20:53

Lilifer · 15/06/2024 10:17

Basically I sent him the suggested message that another poster put very early on in this thread. And he replied immediately to say sorry and that he had booked afternoon tea at the very posh hotel but suggested meeting up a little before that booking to walk around the city market - so I said that's great thanks and see you there.

And now am currently doing the make up hair etc and faffing about what to wear 😀

How did it go then? Or are you still with him so haven’t had time to update? 🙂

LlamaTwirl · 15/06/2024 20:57

If somebody uses a dating service that's not online it kinda stands to reason they might also struggle with Google 🤷‍♀️

Seabreeze18 · 15/06/2024 20:58

Must be going well then?

AmIever · 15/06/2024 21:09

Maybe they didn’t leave the posh hotel

Lilifer · 15/06/2024 21:09

AmIever · 15/06/2024 21:09

Maybe they didn’t leave the posh hotel

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
Lilifer · 15/06/2024 21:11

AmIever · 15/06/2024 21:09

Maybe they didn’t leave the posh hotel

Just coming back to update!

Well he was a lovely gentleman, friendly and engaging. I don't think we are compatible but I enjoyed his company. We just have really different interests but I certainly enjoyed the couple of hours in his company and the afternoon tea was FAB!

But I think I shall have to pass on this one 😌

OP posts:
alrightluv · 15/06/2024 21:13

@Lilifer thanks for the update.

Lilifer · 15/06/2024 21:13

AnneKipankitoo · 15/06/2024 20:25

Afternoon tea has lasted a loooong time!

😀 I spend about 2.5 hours with him all told, then a bit of shoppping on my own, followed by long drive home, nice day and nice to have a break from domesticity

OP posts:
Lilifer · 15/06/2024 21:14

NotARealWookiie · 15/06/2024 19:42

Particularly interested to hear about the pastries and quality of tea cup in the afternoon tea OP. Do update us when you get a chance!

I ate my body weight in pastries scones and sandwiches 🙌🏻

OP posts:
Mrsredlipstick · 15/06/2024 21:15

Sounds perfectly OK. He wasn't a frog 🐸.
Onto the next. Good luck.

grangoose · 15/06/2024 21:17

Glad you had a good time and relieved all is well. Thanks for updating us.

Fatlittlefruits · 15/06/2024 21:21

Glad you had an enjoyable afternoon and sounds like he'd be a catch - but for someone else. Wishing you luck with your next date.

Lilifer · 15/06/2024 21:29

Yes I was relieved actually that he was just a nice normal guy, I have a good creep radar and I got good vibes off this one, but as u said we are quite different, different outlooks and interests and he works abroad half the year, it would be hard making it work and we also live two hours from each other, not impossible but difficult.

He definitely is a catch for someone but not for me. But it gives me hope going forward that the next one might be, or the one after that.

Really appreciate all the advice and interest from you all, honestly this is where mumsnet it at its best. ♥️

OP posts:
Justgorgeous · 15/06/2024 21:34

My first thought was he wants to see what you look like first and then if he likes the look of you he will text a place to meet.

AskingForAFriend12 · 15/06/2024 21:52

Lilifer · 15/06/2024 21:29

Yes I was relieved actually that he was just a nice normal guy, I have a good creep radar and I got good vibes off this one, but as u said we are quite different, different outlooks and interests and he works abroad half the year, it would be hard making it work and we also live two hours from each other, not impossible but difficult.

He definitely is a catch for someone but not for me. But it gives me hope going forward that the next one might be, or the one after that.

Really appreciate all the advice and interest from you all, honestly this is where mumsnet it at its best. ♥️

I wouldn't call it off too soon!:)

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