A bad mummy re child starting school :(

[Hellodarknessmyfriend]

My little one is due to start school in September. We have been given a list of 11 days relating to the transition in; stay and plays, meet the staff, home visit, staggered start times etc.
The issue is they are all (naturally) over the course of a school day and I am primary teacher.
Literally the only one I can attend is an evening Welcome Meeting.
This makes me looks like a rubbish parent, doesn't it?

We always had some flexibility in our system to cover for each other, or get HoD or Senior staff to help out in such cases. If you discuss this with Head or your Department or Faculty, and say you'd like to attend one of the day sessions, a solution can probably be found. And teaching parents in the schools where I taught would cover for each other in turn, if at all possible.

Ok, OP, you have the hardest job in the world, no one else has it as bad as you, all other parents don't attend their child's school events due to a lack of effort, but you are different because of your job and it's not fair that your children miss out.

@Troubledprimarymum You clearly haven't bothered to read my posts. I am arguing that SOME non-working parents simply do not bother to support their child by attending parents evenings etc. That is a fact. We see it a lot.

@poolemoney Again, another poster misreading posts.

It's a trade off though, isn't it?

Teachers don't need to worry about school holiday childcare at all which almost everyone else does.

As a teacher married to a non teacher you're ideally positioned. And then on top you have your mum doing all your school runs

Actually I have read your posts and dislike them more with every update you give.

You have NO idea why some people don't attend primary school days and meetings. You have no idea of some parent's commitments whether they are financial, lack of hands on support, health reasons or work reasons.

Anyway you carry on pitying your own circumstances and yes it was noted that you are concerned about being judged as a parent rather than being concerned that your child will miss you being there.

Wrong.

Some workplaces afford some flexibility. Some schools afford some flexibility.

Some workplaces don't afford some flexibility. Some schools don't afford some flexibility.

@Troubledprimarymum What do you do for work?

Why? Have I unknowingly complained about not being able to attend places outside my contracted working hours?

I can't understand how people think there's any expectation of a parent attending all 11. It's obvious that these are being put on to give flexibility based on the needs of the child! Not just parental availability.

@Troubledprimarymum So you don't work?

Race to the bottom then hey?

You really are intent on feeling considerably sorry for yourself aren't you.
Whether or not I work is entirely irrelevant as I'm not on a forum whinging about not being able to go to events outside my working hours but to stop your further inane and irrelevant questions, I both work and have primary aged children.

@Troubledprimarymum Best we get back to it then :) 😀

It's not a race to the bottom, it's an acknowledgement that the massively drawn out transitions they do now are unnecessary, inconvenient and creating a huge kerfuffle over something that doesn't need to be.

I have a son in "[t]he current crop of year 3s were basically pushed through the doors with a see-ya" and it was great. For him, for his classmates. They didn't have time to have it built up in their heads to be a big scary thing that needs days and days of getting used to.

DD is 2 years younger and she was fine anyway because she was generally more confident so she did OK with all the events but they were still mostly OTT and I didn't find any parent who thought otherwise.

Unlike you, I'm not standing in front of a class of twenty plus children while perusing an internet forum so its fine for me to continue and of course you are now safe in the knowledge that you are replying to a working parent.............!

@CharlotteBog there are other very inflexible jobs as well that also have limited annual leave. I used to get annoyed when my DCs were younger that teachers seemed to think they were the exception, and anyone else not able to be flexible, just was not bothered. The only way I could get time off for any school things was annual leave. I had 25 days annual leave for the whole year and we already had difficulty covering school holidays.

You train your child to say ‘my mum’s a teacher’ when they are asked!
Can your mum do them? If she is going to be the main interaction with school it might be nice for her to be there.

Your husband needs to take annual leave to attend - presuming you can cover all the holidays as you're term time working then he must prioritise term-time things like this.
He can mention that you are a teacher when he gets to meet the teacher, if your child's teacher doesn't understand that then I don't know who will.
Our school has a nice mix of mums and dads at all these events - some dads wfh so are around more than their nurse/doctor wives, one dad at pickup is a postie finished for the day. I wouldn't assume everybody else is sahm and office work dad.

I don't think I ever had a teacher hint that because I was not a teacher I had better availability for school events.
I might have felt a slight PA dig from teacher friends/family when I'd say I was off to sport day or whatever. "Oh I wish I could go to sports day".

We all have our own juggles.
I'm a lone parent and it's been really hard. I have often wished I had the vocation to be a teacher.

@CharlotteBog you see teachers on here say it all the time. We just can't be bothered. Why not take annual leave? etc etc.

Maybe my sons' teachers were all saying that about me then!
I was never there to find out! Natch!

No it doesn’t. Who on earth has 11 days free for this?!!? I don’t and I am a ‘stay at home’ parent!! 11 days is OTT. We live in France and here it’s one morning!! X

At some point in my daughters Yr2 at school I came to pick her up and wasn't recognised by her form teacher. It was the first time we'd met and it was months into school.

11 days is ridiculous and most working parents will struggle to do even a portion so don't beat yourself up. Its far more important that you are doing the reading and the phonics and presumably all the stuff you will be great at [though poss not if you are not a primary teacher ;)]

I would think of it as a lovely opportunity for your daughter to bond with your mother.

It seems to be the norm in primary and doesn't stop....plays, performances, awards, craft sessions, sports days, rescheduled sports days, early closures, parents afternoons, open days....park the guilt tell teachers you are a teacher and can't come ....your mum may be able to go to some