A bad mummy re child starting school :(

[Hellodarknessmyfriend]

My little one is due to start school in September. We have been given a list of 11 days relating to the transition in; stay and plays, meet the staff, home visit, staggered start times etc.
The issue is they are all (naturally) over the course of a school day and I am primary teacher.
Literally the only one I can attend is an evening Welcome Meeting.
This makes me looks like a rubbish parent, doesn't it?

That's awful. So what happens then? At what point do staff throw their hands up in the air, take all the children with them to the staff room, HD office or wherever and declare that you need to use the loo and someone needs to watch the kids.

Do OFSTED look into staff numbers? A teacher might need to leave a class for any number of reasons - another child unwell, seeing a child outside, strange person roaming the grounds. Are toilet breaks regarded as lower priority than other situations?

I think you're being over dramatic. If your husband can manage a couple that's fine, if your mum can also do some even better. Sounds like your mum is in loco parentis and will be the main point of contact with school. Get her to stand in. At my kids school grandparents do a high proportion of the pick ups, assemblies etc.

You can go on the online communication app and attend parents evening. There's also bound to be some non overlapping inset days when school starts. It won't be that bad.

This sounds a bit martyrish to me. Going to the toilet takes 2 minutes. You could have done that before leaving the interview venue or on.arriving in.school. You could have eaten in the car. You need to learn to look after yourself otherwise you will burn out and be no use to anyone.

You should have gone to the toilet before going back to school and could have eaten a sandwich in the car.

Of course you’re not! I know it’s difficult in school but maybe just ask if you could take some Toil.

Why not ask your mum to attend some of these with your child? 🌞

@shehasglasses48 No such thing as toil in teaching.

Thanks all. I strongly feel that the expectations of teachers are way above and beyond other so many other job choices. For example, say you're in an office job, do you have set hours to go to the toilet? Do you only get 10 mins (if you're lucky) to eat a sandwich? Do you bleed through your clothes when you're on your period because leaving children on their own is a safeguarding issue and there is nobody else to supervise?
But according to some posters on here that's entirely acceptable because I'm a teacher. Just eat a cereal bar ffs.
I need out. After 20 years of this shit enough is enough.
The dire teacher recruitment and retention crisis suggests I'm not alone.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend it is not acceptable. It is common in lots of jobs where you can't just leave what you are doing without cover. Many jobs working with people are like that.

For pity's sake, stop being such a martyr and giving the rest of us teachers a bad name. No wonder society get fed up of "teachers" moaning.

FWIW. I love my job. I've loved my job since 1999. It's the best job in the world as far as I'm concerned. Teaching children aged 4-11 is such a rewarding thing in life and there is a new story every day to tell my family. My now adult children can still quote and recall some of the more endearing stories from the years past.

I have only had 10 minutes for lunch when I've been determined to finish some marking/planning/printing to save me doing it later.

I accept that I have set toilet breaks. As an adult without a disability, I can cope with up to 2 hours without using a loo. As do so many other professionals in their spheres of work.

I've never bled through, despite having extremely heavy periods. When I've felt a flood, I call a member of SLT to have my class if a TA can't be found. I've taken ownership.

I've only gone without food from breakfast until 3pm if I've been fasting. I've prioritised me. I've taken ownership.

I've worked in 4 schools over my 20 year career. The 1 school I worked in which didn't have a culture of looking after staff wellbeing had my resignation letter after 6 weeks. I've taken ownership.

Because I've taken ownership, I've been to my own children's sports days, assemblies, plays, leavers events etc that have been during the school day. I plough through the paperwork during my PPA and before and after school. I leave by 5pm most days and never do anything at home, except during report writing season and classroom prep in the summer holidays. I skip into work most mornings and come home with a smile.

Expectations of teachers are not way above and beyond other so many other job choices. I appreciate you're jaded, but try telling that to someone on a zero hours contract who gets a 5 min loo break every 4 hours, 30 mins for lunch, working a 12 hour shift.

Good luck with your exit strategy.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend

Can your Mum go to any of them?

As a Nanny I've been to quite a few!

of all people, other teachers aren't going to judge you!

I notice you've not answered this.

For those non teachers, it's because if there's 2+ classes on the playground, there's a teacher free to have all the children while the teacher on playground duty gets to nip to the loo if needed.

@Globules Usually two staff members out but I don't like to leave one person alone with up to 180 kids tbh. Because what if there was an accident in those minutes I was gone?

You are over thinking this entirely

a teaxher will understand how it is

ask your husband to take annul leave for some. Also ask your mum to attrnd some

You are definitely not a bad mum!! My DD had a similar number of activities when she was moving to reception and I was only able to make a couple.
The rest she either didn't go to or our childminder dropped her off and picked her up.

You don't leave one person alone. You ask one of the 4/5 class teachers whose class you're supervising at play to cover you for a few minutes while you pop to the loo.

You then do the same for them when they have your class at playtime if they need a wee.

@Globules The school you're a teacher at must have far more accessible/free staff than mine!

This is a great post.

Teachers only get twenty something annual leave days a learned must be taken during the holidays and which are not flexible. The other school holidays teachers get are unpaid and therefore not annual leave. Teachers are only paid for 39 weeks in the year plus holiday pay for the territory amount rolled into their salary divided evenly by 12 months.

This is pretty misleading. Yes, technically teachers are only paid for the number of hours outside holidays (plus 5.6 weeks annual leave), however their pay is uplifted accordingly and spread equally over 12 months (so August pay is the same as September pay). Your post makes it sound like they're going without paychecks during school holidays

I don't really understand the point of these particular comments.
I think it's clear to most people that teachers can't take annual leave during term time and that they can't have flexible working hours. I would hope it's even more clear to those who choose to take teaching as a profession.
Plenty of teachers it seems are able to take time off to attend their own children's sports days or nativity etc.
OP seems to have a particularly inflexible school with a culture of martyrdom whereby OP is unable to use the toilet.

No I didn’t say anyone is going without pay checks. I’ve simply stated teachers aren’t paid for 13 weeks holiday. And whenever I’ve had to take time off school to attend something for my child, or look after them when poorly, I can’t take annual leave, I get deducted a day’s salary. I even lost a day’s pay to attend my own graduation from my master’s degree. So whilst we might have lots of paid and unpaid holidays time we can’t be flexible during term time for our children.

Some can, my husband included. He's certainly never been docked a days pay if one of our kids is sick and, as stared previously, he's been given the odd discretionary day off for things like weddings etc. Guess it's down to the individual school

Will your preschool be able to take them to some of the visits? We are doing that for some of our preschoolers.

Have you requested the time off? Your school might let you have some of them.