To be done with this forum..

[Hardknocks]

I don’t know what’s in the water at the moment but I’ve posted a few times on here in the last few months seeking advice and have received nothing but awful, nasty comments that have really upset me, and I am not a sensitive person. I don’t have a close circle of mum friends, I’m not close to my mum either so this is the only place I can come and voice these concerns or feelings.

Nothing I’ve said has been outrageous or contentious, I mainly ask questions about whether particular aspects of my toddlers behaviour is normal, but I’ve been called a bad mum, entitled, lazy and stupid amongst other worse ones. I know (or thought) I wasn’t any of those things, just a mum to a 2 year old navigating this all for the first time.

This forum has really changed in the last few years and I’m not sure why, but it’s not a very nice place to be anymore. If anyone has any suggestions for other forums please let me know… I could really do with the support.

I too have a 2 year old with suspected ASD, feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat.
It's hard.
I won't judge, I'll just listen.

@Loubelle70

Thanks. I also had lots of comments debunking or posters saying certain things had happened to them and so they knew what i was saying was possible but the nasty ones kept coming.

I don't read them. They are in a hidden folder on my phone but I can remember most.

And right on cue...

See this is one reply that would make me turn off my phone then I'd think about it all day.

Absolutely disgusting.

Thing is, we remember those comments that hurt because theyre judgey. Like you say, remember the kind ones...the unkind ones usually have issues themselves. ♥️

I'm not a mum but also have no close circle of friends (they became mums and buggered off) or it was me??)
But as for nasty bitchy comments, its not just here, post covid its everywhere in general, there seems to be a ceryain new breed of trolls about, or just vile people in general.
What happened to "if you can't say something nice then don't say anything atall"

@Loubelle70
I don't want to keep taking over the OP's thread but I can't "thank you" on the app. ❤️❤️

Private schools and those who have worked hard to make a good life for themselves seem to get panned on mumsnet.
Many seem to think that those who privately educate their children are all rich upper class snobs when in reality many make great sacrifices to get them there. FWIW I think Starmers plan to impose VAT on private education is a nasty spiteful and vindictive move to punish people for trying to do their best in life.

Yep, its judgey and tunnel visioned or cruel..there will be some who reply to that comment that its not that simple and to be kind. Its to rile folk up. Ignore it ♥️

I also get the impression that some of the nasty comments are from men. Usually aimed at a poor soul struggling in an emotionally abusive relationship, justifying the man's behaviour and blaming the OP.

@Mags1001 That philosophy won't work on an advice forum where tough love is often needed. But it can be dispensed in a respectful way.

Because the OP doesn't have anyone to talk to 🤷🏼

♥️. You can always dm me if youre struggling. Have a great day xxx

'NotbloodyGivingupYet · Today 08:06
Caththegreat · Today 07:46

How about talking to people in the real world
And right on cue...'

And on purpose. The thread was going far too well. OP was getting far too much kindness.
Waiting for the 'Yeah but, no but,'

Yes and ive noticed a lot of those posts just lately. Im sure in incel forums they agree to come on one after other to goad and wind women up. They out themselves

You know what I came to this realisation earlier and I feel better now.

I had a local man comment on Facebook (I don't use it much but it related to me).

He was horrible and kept editing his comments and then making out it was me and saying "ohh are we a little grumpy / someone hasn't had their corn flakes" and putting laughing and head over face emojis.

From now I'll try to assume it's someone like him behind the messages 😂😂😂

🤣 exactly. yep, fuck the judgey negatives. Akways 1. And scroll past.

@Caththegreat what the hell?

Do you have problems with reading comprehension? Firstly, when the OP says she doesn't really have anyone in real life to talk to. Secondly, just the overall tone and mood? Can you not read? Or is it understanding the tone that you struggle with?

In order words are you an idiot? Or just a nasty piece of work?

The nastiness on this thread has to be seen to be believed:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5096194-my-son-is-going-to-tenerife-im-terrified?page=4&reply=136009410

I agree OP, I have noticed this. It’s almost as if there is a key word in a thread title which brings out some really nasty bullies. I sometimes wonder if some posts are AI as they are so wooden. Or trolls. I didn’t read your post but sorry you didn’t get the support you wanted. I think MN really varies and there are still some lovely people to be found.

You are exactly the type of poster the OP is talking about. She states in her first paragraph that she doesn't have anyone to turn to in the real world. Why would you then come along and say what you did? Are you just trying to be cruel? Did you not bother to read the OP or do you think you are being funny, smart, original? I am genuinely curious as to why a decent person could read the OP and give the reply you have. Imagine feeling at your lowest, you have nobody to talk to in real life and some twat comes along and makes you feel worse because that's what you just did to the OP.

Sometimes talking to strangers is easier. But you know that right?

Yep, some real pieces of work on that thread. It is horrible.

You ever get the impression you’re tone deaf, Cath? If not, I’ve got some news for you… :/

LoreleiG It’s almost as if there is a key word in a thread

Could it be when it reaches 'Trending'?
Easy to get at, they don't have to look through pages.