Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

[KrustyBurger]

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

I'd have the same reaction as your husband. They could grab you if you did it.

I’d rather I was grabbed then my daughter though

Use the bin in the room and put it outside the door.

I would have let mine go.

Would you not allow your daughter to do it at 16? If it's unsafe for a 12 year old then it's unsafe for most lone women I'd say. Is it a very rough area?

I wouldn’t think twice about it. You’re in a hotel, she should be perfectly safe.

I’d have let mine go. I really can’t see the issue at all from a safety standpoint. Even if there were someone lurking in a room with bad intent how would they k is that it was a twelve year old rather than a grown man coming? And you’d surely hear any scuffle. And you could stand at the door and watch her go if you really wanted to.

I think 12 is a good age to be given these little bits of responsibility.

But, equally, if DP wanted to put the rubbish out, then I’d expect him to take it.

Tell dh to do it himself! He’s the clean freak.

I wouldn’t ask my son/daughter to do that, not for your reasons though, it’s just not a chore I’d ask them to do.

Whaaaat? You don't let your 12 year old walk along a hallway in a hotel alone?

Sorry but that's one of the most over the top things I've ever heard.

The likelihood of a murderer sitting looking through their wee keyhole at the very time a lone 12 year old walks past, opening the door, grabbing her silently, and getting her into their room never to be seen again is...I'm sure close to zero?!

Yes you're being incredibly over the top. It's a bin down a corridor 12 doors away, most 12 year olds use public transport, go to town, the corner shop or the park independently. I don't know anyone who would catastrophise the situation you've described. Doesn't she have any independence, she's 12 not 2.

What have you said to him? Hold fire on DD taking the bin down the hall I’m just referring to MN.

She does all those things you say at home, with friends. Not in a foreign country.

I think you've watched too many police dramas.

As others have said, if you won't allow her to do that, what is she allowed to do?

Walk to the corner shop for a pint of milk? She might get dragged into a car.
Go to her friend's house for tea? Their dad might be a poisoning psychopath.

The world has risk but you can only avoid it by missing out on life. Is that what you want for her?

Obviously not. Iv already put the stuff in the bin and now everyone’s chilling in bed.

I find that really hard to believe? Why would you be ok with her doing all that even if she was with a friend but not walking down a corridor?

The fact it's a foreign country is irrelevant it's a corridor in a hotel.

My friend was in a hotel in Singapore checking in with her dh and 7 year old dd.
Dd was skipping around the lobby when a man tried to pull her into the lift.
No I wouldn't let your dc go to the bin either.

I don’t need you to believe it. It’s what she does at home all the time.

No I wouldn't either. Statistically it's unlikely anything would happen but why risk it?

Possibly, I watch a lot of true life murder crime documentories

she has more freedom at home and does all those things.

I don’t think she’s missing out on anything by not being able to put stuff in a bin.

That’s my thinking to be honest. Obviously I know the chances of anything happening is very slim but what if?
Shes 12, we are in a foreign country. Better safe then sorry is how I see it.

I don’t need you to believe it. It’s what she does at home all the time

The point is if you're ok with her going into town, the park etc where at some point she will be alone even if she's gone with a friend then it seems a huge overreaction to think something terrible will happen to her going to a bin a few feet away. It's really illogical to think she would be more at risk in this scenario than any of the situations you say she does all the time at home?

If that was your logic you'd never go in a car or cross the road. How could walking short distance where you can literally see the child if you stood at the door be more of a risk than things that kill people every day

You're misunderstanding statistical risk

Why ask if you are just going to get snippy at people telling you that you’re being unreasonable?

Yes it’s ridiculous that you wouldn’t let your 12 year old walk down a hotel corridor to put rubbish in a bin.

I’m not being snippy, I’m just answering questions.

You’ve taken the bin and you’re safe in bed now so it’s all good 😊just wondering is there a reason why mr clean freak couldn’t do it or doesn’t he touch bins?