Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

[KrustyBurger]

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

Most US hotels I stay in, there are kids wandering about unaccompanied all over the place from about 7 years up. The bins/ice machine etc are in a central area. Most parents seem to send their kids there.

She is going to grow up with a very skewed idea of risk if walking maybe maybe 40 metres to a bin is considered high risk just because it isn't in the UK.

I am totally bewildered (and somewhat depressed) at the level of illogicality shown by some posts in this thread.

Me too! Honestly the risk involved in the situation is as close to zero as you can possibly get. The fact anyone thinks walking past 12 rooms in an American hotel corridor covered by CCTV is in any way a dangerous place for a 12 year old to be for the matter of seconds it would take her to walk to the bin is blowing my mind.

Life must be terrifying for people who think such things are risky.

Utterly bewildered by your risk assessment here. I would absolutely let my 12 year old do this.

Why is being in a foreign country relevant? Are you racist?

You've referred to 'foreign country' a couple of times. Would you have let her do it if it was a hotel in the UK?

I'd have let mine go. I let (made....) our 12 year old refill our soda cups in a motel style set up hotel in Disney, was a heck of a longer away than 6 doors I tell you!

God, I let my six year old son run down the corridor to his gran’s room unaccompanied in February. Didn’t even occur to me to worry about him being abducted (and he wasn’t)

But you could say that about absolutely anything all through childhood and then suddenly child will be 18 and never have been anywhere by themselves before

She might make some new friends in the corridor

Follow your instinct...always

What I certainly wouldn't do is say that in front of my daughter (sounds like you were all together but I could be wrong). At 12 they're fully aware that stranger abductions happen, and of course we should teach them safety and risk reduction skills. But ramming the point home like this feels like catastrophising and could, if habitual, make a child so scared of the world that she forgets how to live.

(Plus the risk you describe is minuscule.)

Maybe keep the worrying to yourself. Let her do the errand and, if you're really anxious, watch discreetly from afar but don't let her know why.

YABU. Seriously, what are the chances that a child snatcher is both in one of the rooms on your floor and also ready and waiting to snatch a child at exactly the time your daughter wonders past? Did you worry about having a car accident in the taxi in the way from the airport or about getting run over while you’re out yesterday? Both of those things are far more likely.

Yes you are being mean overly protective but you probably feel threatened because you are not in your own country. So it probably doesn’t matter for the duration of the holiday but if you are this over anxious at home then I would seek some help.

If you're that paranoid, the potential preteen snatch could equally happen on the way to breakfast or if she nips back to the room for something. Do you ever let her out of your sight in what is a relatively very safe environment?

It's a Marriott, not a Motel 6...

I'd have let my 9 year boy do it, would definitely let a 12 year old, whatever their sex

This is SUCH bollocks. Instinct- FFS. instinct leads people to grab injured people and hug them, when they have a spinal injury.

instinct causes people in buildings on fire to run to the nearest exit door and pull without checking if it’s hot.

instinct, in people who have unchecked anxiety causes them to do all sorts of irrational and damaging things!!

Anxious or irrational people's instincts are way out of whack, and not to be relied on.

Very OTT, the chances of anything happening to her are practically non-existent.

Ott. My 7 year old love to do that but I'll be watching her hotel room door. I'm with your husband here I'm afraid. It's a hotel not the streets. Limited if any risk

@Morph22010 or you could just say it about the random stuff that comes up that doesn't really benefit the child to do. And still teach them to be a fully fledged adult

OTT , IMO.

I’d generally see it the same, I wouldn’t let any young children go out of my sight on holiday .. so why’s that any different? It takes a second for a someone to grab a child.. so I don’t think you’re unreasonable. The chances are obviously quite low in a motel with only a few others around but if you wouldn’t let your 3 year old go out of your sight why a 12 year old? They’re still young!

Bollocks.