Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

[KrustyBurger]

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

Did you explain your reasoning to DH in front of DD? That catastrophising would likely have a bigger impact on her in the form of anxiety than letting her go/not go in the corridor.

I would go, at 10 at night, rather than send my GC. I think if the adults want bins emptying etc at what is bedtime, then one of them does it. I'd be telling the kids to get ready for bed and the next day etc. However because my Mum had friends whose 14 year old was snatched in Italy while going to the toilet and tragically never seen again, I'd think like you. They went on holiday to the same place for the rest of their lives, on the date she went and her Birthday, hoping that it was a sex slave etc situation and she would one day escape. I wouldn't think it likely, but once we are aware of what could happen, we risk take based on that. It doesn't make life easy when all I watch is crime/thriller/horror films.

You were way ott. I'd never have given this a second thought.

I already said he was dealing with our youngest.

Weird that you’d let her do it in the UK but not in a “foreign country”. It’s the USA. She speaks the language. What exactly do you think happens there that doesn’t in the UK?

I don’t think the A4 print out stuck to the wall near the elevator that said something about human trafficking helped 😅 I didn’t read it all, just the words in red.

Il re-think next time. Thanks everyone

Can you imagine trying to explain to police and media that you, two adults, Sent a child, alone, to put the rubbish out at night in a hotel full of strangers in a foreign country, if, on the tiny chance, she did get snatched? No I wouldn't do that. I'm surprised so many would tbh.

I’m thinking the same but it seems like we are in the minority.

It's understandable - you're in a foreign country. You're just looking out for your daughter - your instincts are there for a reason.

My mum used to get quite jumpy when we'd visit the States as kids as she was worried we'd get carjacked. She'd be telling us to keep the car windows wound up and not speak to anyone out of the windows.

Totally agree OP and I think the answers on here aren't representative of how most mothers would actually behave in real life. Even if they now go on to 'prove' that they would

Why would you think the answer's were not representative? It's a bin a few feet away in an American hotel corridor with CCTV? Do you honestly think most parents would think this was a dangerous situation to put a 12 year old in?

It wouldn't even dawn on me to see that risk.

If you're that worried stand at the door and watch her walk the 20m and back.

But I do think kids need some responsibility.

Yes this. This is really odd. I don’t know why you’re so paranoid, maybe lay off the tv. It’s the USA , probably more like to get abducted in London tbh!

It’s not a few feet away, it’s half way down the corridor…

it goes 2 doors…. Wall space, 2 doors, wall space etc. if it was a few feet I would just keep the door open and chuck it from my room 😂

I went to a destination wedding, which was child free, a couple of years ago and all of the guests with children over 11 left them in the hotel on their own for the wedding..

So yeah I don't think your attitude to this is normal

I find it weird that let her out to the park and shops etc in the UK but not let her walk down a corridor in a "foreign country". Do you really think the UK is sooo much safer than other countries? None of this makes sense.
My DD is 13. She's allowed to go to the shops and parks with her friends here and I'd let her take the rubbish to the bin in another country (unless it was a particularly dangerous area). Of course there's a small risk in the UK and abroad but what's the alternative? I never let her out of my sight? Until when? Until she's 18? But there's still a risk then!

They'd thing what unbelievably terrible luck happened to a girl doing a perfectly normal task for her age.

I just can't imagine being this paranoid.

I remember being left alone in hotels in Italy at a similar age while my dad went out running - he'd even leave me money so I could go out and buy lunch!

Ridiculously paranoid, there will be cctv everywhere. A hotel like a Marriott will have loads of security too.

And those saying ‘why doesn’t Mr Clean do it’, what on earth is wrong with asking a 12 year old to do the odd age appropriate chore? Are they meant to be princes and princesses, waited on hand and foot?

I definantly think it’s its ott. She doesn’t even have to change floors, just walk along the same corridor, and the chances of a random abductor staying in the same hotel, on the same floor, and noticing your daughter at that exact moment is virtually nil.

I presume you let your daughter go to school by herself? There’s more risk there as she’ll have a regular routine.

So you genuinely think nobody would let a 12 year old walk a few metres down a hotel corridor in America without being escorted by an adult?

it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in

Again, for it to take five seconds would mean that someone had been standing next to their door for hours in the hope that a girl would walk by. That's vanishingly unlikely. They'd even need a camera to the corridor from their room to know who was passing by.

I am totally bewildered (and somewhat depressed) at the level of illogicality shown by some posts in this thread.

What?? Way ott.

If I judged a hotel too dangerous for my secondary school child to walk a few feet along a corridor unaccompanied I wouldn't be staying there at all. Have you locked and barricaded the door, op?

Do you let her get into bed knowing that someone might be underneath it?

A hotel's probably the safest place. There'll be cameras everywhere and no-one could leave it with a young girl without being seen. Unlike the street outside your house at home