Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

[KrustyBurger]

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

It would be really stupid for someone to open their door and pull your daughter into their room. For all they know, her six-foot-six, muscular brothers are just out of sight and will hear her scream. Plus there’s probably a security camera right there in the hallway!

We are in the minority but I am also in a minority of people who survived csa. I do not have children but am shocked by how blasé people are about the safety of young children. It is rare for these things to happen yet it does happen. I am living proof. Don’t be swayed by what people on here have said to you. Do not take chances with your DD’s safety. You know when to give her freedom and when to be careful. Your daughter will not grow up less independent or confident as a result. Follow your gut and ignore what anyone else says.

Yes, children of overprotective parents are more likely to grow up anxious and less independent, all the studies show that. If you need to eliminate all risk, when do you stop? After all, someone can also pull your 16 or 18yo into their room..

I think everyone wants to take care of their children, it's just where the line is.

I can't help thinking that someone grabbing a 12 year old in a hotel corridor would be the most spectacularly stupid criminal of all time. There is absolutely no way they would ever get away with it.

Exactly. The phrase 'overly protective parents' is outrageous. We are not talking about locking children up in their bedrooms. It's about being aware of where they are at all times especially on holiday. I've witnessed a man on a beach promenade actively taking pictures of children playing in the sand. I will remain vigilant & 'overly protective' thank you.

If you’re going to worry about the chances of someone in one of 12 bedrooms along your own corridor in a fairly expensive hotel having their eye at their own peephole all night on the off chance that an unaccompanied 12-year old girl will walk past with a rubbish bag at 10pm for them to randomly snatch, then your imagination has gone into massive overdrive. You would know in less than 2 minutes if something had happened to your child on this journey - you could even keep an eye on her from the door. It’s not exactly a seedy hotel where unidentified guests pay by the hour. What sort of person do you think would pay for a Marriott hotel room in order to kidnap unaccompanied children? Unless your dd is making regular, predictable trips out of the room on her own, at particular times, or might be tempted to go for a general wander around the hotel, I think you are being phenomenally neurotic. Surely they also have cctv in the corridors?

We are not talking about locking children up in their bedrooms.

The entire topic is literally about not allowing a 12yo to leave a (hotel) room and walk a few feet to a garbage can..

Yes and happy as long as she is able to be seen & heard. The expression 'stranger danger' wasn't invented for nothing.

It isn't about sexusl assault. I agree that would be rare. It's about being scared when you see a guy down the corridor and it doesn't feel right and you get into a panic. And then you are stuck with a fear of hotel corridors all your life. I mentioned before I was stopped in a hotel corridor in Germany late at night when I was a student by a guy and, while nothing happened, the possibilities freaked me out and I am still cautious. I hate corridors.

This has no relevance to the situation being described at all. This is when hotels are used by traffickers as venues to exploit people who have already been trafficked. This is not starting the chain of supply of trafficked people by grabbing tourist's children from upscale hotels, where caring, well-heeled parents will definitely immediately raise the alarm, CCTV will enable you and the child to be located within a few minutes, and a media storm, high profile court case and jail time will ensue.

I think you are considering the risk the wrong way around. It's not that anyone thinks someone is stood watching a peep hole waiting to snatch someone - more the possibility that someone going about their business - using the corridor, with a very dark side, sees an opportunity and takes it. Like you car getting stolen because you left your car keys hanging in the front door.

As for cctv I would be surprised if a hotel had CCTV covering for example 6 corridors. But the point of protecting your child is to never have to sit and look at CCTV to find out what happened to them!

I think you are considering a near non-existent risk. Nobody opportunistically grabs a child who has only just left a bedroom carrying a rubbish bag. They would need to have staked the place out first and have a getaway plan, or they guarantee getting caught. If you were the sort of person who genuinely deemed this to be a risky situation, then you should never travel to a dangerous US city in the first place, as a moment’s inattention on the street outside is more likely to result in your child’s disappearance than a short walk down a posh hotel corridor and straight back again.

The issue imo is getting scared. Seeing a man fiddling with his key card for a few seconds so you have to walk past him, that sort of thing. It's like when I walk home in the dark. Anyone hovering around will immediately put me on alert. I just think it is an environment where you could be scared.

Exactly this, the question literally is "should I lock my 12 year old up in a hotel bedroom".

At that age I was happily wandering around by myself abroad, going to shops/arcades etc and I let my kids do exactly the same. Utterly ridiculous to still be treating them like a baby at that age.

I don’t understand why you’ve asked the question. Clearly from your answers to other posters, you’ve already decided you’re in the right and are just defending your decision.

OP's fears are for an extremely unlikely event. How do we reach children to be resilient if they never have a chance to do things with even a minimal risk?