Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

No, I actually understand the purpose of manners.

Do you do things just to be different?

No, but if I want to do something that goes against 'social norms' and I can do it without causing inconvenience or upset to others, I do it.

What's your understanding of 'the purpose of manners', then?

So do I.

I’ve already described it as much as I’m going to in a number of prior posts.

If those don’t make sense to you, nothing else I write will either.

They make sense to me in as much as I understand the views you've expressed without necessarily espousing them myself. We're clearly going to have to agree to differ though.

You can’t possibly understand if you are asking me what I think the purpose is of having manners.

okay 😂 I’m not the one blindly following something “coz it just is 😡😡😡” then offering 0 follow up or substantial critical thought on it.

Out of consideration for others, is my assumption. But the sticking point here is that many of us disagree it's bad manners to do what OP did.

Superpowers probably... The fact that you think you'd 'probably' mock a work colleague, thinking your deplorable behaviour is acceptable...

I've only got through the first two pages of this thread and already it's just typical MN.

The crime of the century now is to look in a mirror in front of your colleagues!

I had an upper and lower eye lift last year ever since I've been suffering with excessive sticky eye sleep anyone else who's had it done have this?

For goodness sake it's not like she is changing her clothes. Seriously some of you need to get a life

Flip, I'm thinking about amending our staff handbook to add that make-up may only be applied in the bathroom. Not that anybody is doing it, but just in case we employ someone in the future who thinks it's ok. Have you mentioned her comments to any of your other colleagues? Might help you know whether it's only this one person who it appears to bother or whether she's a spokesperson on behalf of others.

Cloakroom? The 1800's called, they want you to return home

I think adding it to the handbook would be a great idea. Really set out those personal preferences.

When adding something unusual in a handbook for a standard office workplace, its best to include a non exhaustive list of examples, as hardly anyone would have come across this. E.g. you may want to include whether that extends to lipbalm sticks or vaseline tins or if that's ok as long as they are not pigmented (and determine if you mean highly pigmented or tinted here). If they are ok, you need to be prepared to explain why they are different.

And wise to determine if applying makeup outside the offices but still on the premises e.g. car park counts.

Don't forget you'll need to send a memo out highlighting the change to all. I'd always try to include an explanation of the new policy.

IME workplaces that introduce odd policies don't have a good culture, so once this is introduced don't be alarmed if you get a few pushing back. E.g. by starting to sneakily run concealer over a finger under their desk and "itching" their face, or taking the piss out of each other "did i just see you groom that hair away from your eyes," type thing.

this is normal behaviour that employees who work for an organisation with 'hard' management do to try and just get one over on the man and make a point over something they may never even thought of until told "you can't do that". Don't worry about it too much but it's worth reviewing disciplinary policies at the same time.

Oh and review your SM policy, there's a cracking page on FB where employees share crazy workplace stories and policies, often naming the company, so you might want to try and deter employees from doing that.

Link to the Facebook page please @Megifer 😁

Tbh any of the Workplace Memes groups have posts that descend into everyone sharing funny stories and ridiculous policies. Usually started by someone posting one of the "work fridges" memes then someone will post something like boiled eggs were banned in their work, so they took in a fried egg etc.

Employment law groups also unintentionally funny, a Manager will post they want to introduce <insert bizarre policy> and ask for advice and they just get ripped to shreds 😬

I regularly touch up my face at my desk - it's not vanity, it's necessity!
I have the oiliest skin which needs a whip of a powder brush every 2 hours minimum, chronic dry eye which need eye drops every 90 mins and the driest lips which need my tinted lip balm every 2 hours or so.

That's all I do - I wouldn't be putting mascara or eyeshadow on at my desk but I see what I do do as essential to feeling comfortable throughout the day.

Sensing a bit of jealousy, what's stopping her? Haha

I have a work colleague with eczema on her face and she is constantly picking at her face and rolling the skin in her fingers, whilst we are trying to eat near her, baulk!!! It's so awkward as she doesn't seem to care how uncomfortable it makes people, dirty bugger. No one dare say stop it because they know she will just cry and say its a medical condition. But she has a good rake constantly!

I'm sorry OP but it's you. I originally thought how rude your colleague is, but to sit in a canteen and put on make up - that gives me the ick. She is trying to politely tell you to go to the ladies.

Sounds vain to me 🤷‍♀️

🤣 whatever colleague is doing and why, it certainly isn't a well meant but inept attempt at a polite request to do it elsewhere.
It's mocking someone.

Even if you think the reason she's mocking op is because of the choice of location for the touch up -
...and that is pure speculation stoked by a thread that stopped being about a rude colleague and became a dispute on socially acceptable make up application a long time ago -
There are plenty of far easier and more effective ways to persuade your colleague to stop bothering you this way than what she did... So imo that's hogwash.

Some of the replies on here are bonkers! Some things are rightly not appropriate on public because they're gross or unhygienic. Putting on a bit of lipstick or mascara is in no way offensive. It's more like wiping your nose or washing or hands, arguably even less so.

I'd just say something like, yes I like to make sure I still look presentable or something like that.

Mocking someone is just rude though wherever she's doing it so even if she disapproves she has in no way got the higher ground

It’s because doing it in public screams ‘everyone look at me’. That’s what vanity is; being obsessed by your own appearance.

Make up is meant to accentuate your natural features, not slap people in the face when they look at you. Doing it in public isn’t inherently wrong, but it does give an impression of your personality that may not be favourable. If you need such a full face of makeup that you can’t go a whole day without topping up your mascara, either buy better quality stuff, do it in the bathroom, ir just accept people will think you’re vain.

I agree, it's having zero regard for those around, a bit like face timers