Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

How IS it a race to the bottom though? Utterly pathetic behaviour on this thread honest to god - peak mumsnet.

I think she’s probably worried about her touching her face after eating without washing her hands, too.

Mocking a colleague is much worse; I think we’re all agreed she hadn’t handled it well.

No one is going to describe what they think when they see someone applying make-up in public because noone wants to be that rude.

Posting opinions on mumsnet is pathetic now?

Now we have to ask how you get through the day!

Said the behaviour is - justifying mocking a colleague is pathetic.

But people throughout the thread have asked for an explanation - yet no one has given one, or indeed it seems can.

There is a difference between justifying and explaining.

I’m starting to see why other concepts aren’t being grasped…

Well we feel we have. There are more lurid words but we’re not going to stoop.

You can always do a bit of reading between the lines …

It’s gurning now apparently as well as being 1920.🤔

There is no explanation though other than “it just is” so no, I don’t think it has been justified. Same back to you.

Look, you obviously can’t provide an explanation. Better to just own that.

Who is saying they 'can't be bothered' (or are too tired) to walk to the toilet? I certainly haven't said it.

You said the behavior on this thread is pathetic. If that’s the same to you as saying mocking a colleague is pathetic then no wonder the many explanations are beyond your grasp.

We can and we have, but describing complex social norms can't be summed up in a neat sentence.

In every society ever there have been codes of behaviour. These can vary radically across cultures and are obviously not set in stone.

There is no objective reason why it is frowned on for people to walk around naked, but it is still a social norm. There's no objective reason why we can't burp in public, but most people try to avoid it (though in some parts of the world it's fine) . There's no universal reason why make-up and other grooming is generally done in private, but it is.

These codes of behaviour are there to allow large groups of people to coexist with minimal friction. They are also a way of having an 'us' and 'them'. It is part of being human.

In the case of putting on make-up we seem to be in a time of transition from it being inappropriate in public to it being perfectly ok. Probably in another couple of decades it will be considered ok by a majority of people.

I’m just amazed you don’t intuitively get it.

Lots of people on here are saying they see it as off, but you seem impervious to social codes.

I was just going to use the burp example myself but thought we’d go down some moronic line of discussion about how burps could theoretically fire out particles of food!

I think we have a case here of “shoot the messenger”.

I think it’s more a case of pretend you can’t understand the messenger!

Yes, then shoot them. For reality.

But a lot of people don’t agree with your “code” so it simply isn’t a social norm.

As above honey.

Yes. There seems to be two groups, doesn’t there.

Since it seems to be a new concept for you, how do you know? Do you often see your colleagues in the canteen refreshing their makeup?

And calling it “your code” is a huge tell. 😂

Your comment presupposes that social norms matter to everybody. Given that 63% voted YANBU I don't really think you can conclude that most people even care about this particular issue or that there's enough strength of feeling (excluding a few very vocal pps on here) to call it a 'social norm'.